deepundergroundpoetry.com
First time here?
I enjoy swaying at the bar
watching them stroll in
with a facade of bravado
that dies like the innocence
of a well molested girl.
They are struck with silence
when offered with a choice
of glasses to drink from.
A simple request for a lager
gets them nowhere
as they fumble for the shrapnel
of their student loans.
This, my young friends,
is where the dedicated drink,
and now that you're aboard
you may as well swallow
that unconvincing pride.
watching them stroll in
with a facade of bravado
that dies like the innocence
of a well molested girl.
They are struck with silence
when offered with a choice
of glasses to drink from.
A simple request for a lager
gets them nowhere
as they fumble for the shrapnel
of their student loans.
This, my young friends,
is where the dedicated drink,
and now that you're aboard
you may as well swallow
that unconvincing pride.
Published 20th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 846
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jan 2011 8:11pm
....who understands the meaning of real dedication, Jamie. Keenly observed as always.
Best ~ Abra
Best ~ Abra
20th Jan 2011 8:13pm
a sincere and very warm thankyou. I'm slowly pulling my finger out and getting round to comment more, so I'll be round your way soon.
Anonymous
20th Jan 2011 8:44pm
Bar maid get this lad a Guinness
21st Jan 2011 1:20am
'A simple request for a lager
gets them nowhere
as they fumble for the shrapnel
of their student loans.'
The way you use the word 'shrapnel' probably means the drinks are cheap. This would lead to a few more and therefore dedicated drinkers would become. Though, I am sure, the already dedicated do not welcome them in. I enjoyed this, there's insight and a reader can take it as they please because there is enough content to do so.
Fun to read.
gets them nowhere
as they fumble for the shrapnel
of their student loans.'
The way you use the word 'shrapnel' probably means the drinks are cheap. This would lead to a few more and therefore dedicated drinkers would become. Though, I am sure, the already dedicated do not welcome them in. I enjoyed this, there's insight and a reader can take it as they please because there is enough content to do so.
Fun to read.
21st Jan 2011 9:07am
"I enjoy swaying at the bar
watching them stroll in
with a facade of bravado" - favourite line
for some reason it sets the scene so completely for me. the whole thing is a fine read, though, as usual.
watching them stroll in
with a facade of bravado" - favourite line
for some reason it sets the scene so completely for me. the whole thing is a fine read, though, as usual.
