The truth about me

My thoughts are jumbled together.
There's so much I want to tell you,
And so much I need to tell you,
But where do I even begin?

The truth about me is complicated.
Maybe that's all I should say,
But than you'd start asking questions,
And I'd feel pressured to tell you.

Every time i think about telling you the truth,
I feel as if I really should be dead,
But than you'd have to grieve over me twice.

The truth about me I simply can't tell you.
Why?
Because I don't know the truth anymore.
I don't really know if I ever knew what the truth was.
All I can say is the truth is in between the lies.