Cold Dead

It feels like I can never get
anywhere in life.
I try to make something good out of
the day but it doesn't
last very long before negative thought creep
under my skin and hit my nerves.

Thu-dum, thud-dum, thu-dum
I wonder how I would feel if my heart
stopped beating? Empty? Hollow?
Would I feel warm or cold?
Still feeling the weight of my heart in my chest
but never hearing the beat.

If I cut myself, would my blood bleed out
or will it clot?
How will my skin look, clear and pale?
Whatever happens after my heart stops my
life will still be going nowhere.