deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alive~
Break me down
here's your chance
Carry me into space
make me see
while my eyes are closed
and your lips are covering mine
I wait in your touch
the hard softness
of your flesh inside mine
I crumble, I'm broken
You make me feel alive
here's your chance
Carry me into space
make me see
while my eyes are closed
and your lips are covering mine
I wait in your touch
the hard softness
of your flesh inside mine
I crumble, I'm broken
You make me feel alive
Published 10th Oct 2013
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likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 1065
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Oct 2013 8:44pm
Favourite lines, convey the sense of Seventh Heaven:
Carry me into space
make me see
while my eyes are closed.
Carry me into space
make me see
while my eyes are closed.
11th Oct 2013 4:03am
great work on keeping it simple but effective emotionally.. loved it.. keep it up
fav line
'the hard softness
of your flesh inside mine'
cyanide...
fav line
'the hard softness
of your flesh inside mine'
cyanide...
11th Oct 2013 4:04am
10th Oct 2013 10:31pm
11th Oct 2013 4:05am
11th Oct 2013 3:07am
Absolutely beautiful! I love how, in a few words, you've expressed well the awesome deep feeling of making love. :)
11th Oct 2013 4:08am
Appreciate you reading GW...sometimes we forget how wonderful it is to make love... ;)
11th Oct 2013 4:26am
13th Oct 2013 9:48am
13th Oct 2013 4:23pm
Anonymous
14th Oct 2013 7:54pm
I've been enjoying your short story approach lately, T! This one especially really speaks to that surreal, euphoric experience of being consumed in passion with your lover. My favorite line: "make me see / while my eyes are closed." Well done!
14th Oct 2013 9:57pm
14th Oct 2013 8:06pm
14th Oct 2013 9:57pm
29th Oct 2013 11:51am
