deepundergroundpoetry.com
1.38 - 1.42 am Poems
1.38 am
I like you because you
help me fall asleep at nights
and like a thief you take a leave
as soon as I doze off.
1.40 am
my lips are wounded
and you're the cause
and you call me aggressive.
1.42 am
you already know that
this thing won't last long.
I'd miss your embraces
cause they are that of
Morpheus.
Morpheus in Greek mythology is the God of dreams and sleep.
I like you because you
help me fall asleep at nights
and like a thief you take a leave
as soon as I doze off.
1.40 am
my lips are wounded
and you're the cause
and you call me aggressive.
1.42 am
you already know that
this thing won't last long.
I'd miss your embraces
cause they are that of
Morpheus.
Morpheus in Greek mythology is the God of dreams and sleep.
Published 10th Jan 2011
| Edited 24th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 1158
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Jan 2011 3:51pm
11th Jan 2011 5:13pm
13th Jan 2011 2:30pm
Quite a mind twisting one because the audience is left to wonder about who exactly the persona is referring to. A lover, relative or sleep itself.
The second stanza denotes aggressive lovemaking from a lover but the third stanza makes this lover appears dreamy.
Yet, it is such a cool mind twisting poem.
The second stanza denotes aggressive lovemaking from a lover but the third stanza makes this lover appears dreamy.
Yet, it is such a cool mind twisting poem.
13th Jan 2011 9:06pm
15th Jan 2011 12:21pm
...within you who pulled out the deepest of the things hardly mentioned in some of the poems. I am glad that your language is impressive unlike mine which have hindered me many a times from expressing such intimate and sensitive feelings so much accurately as you did in this one.
I have liked the typical interminance that haunts throughout the poem along with the short time pauses which you have used in your narrative technique. Interminent yet not paused but a gradual script approaching thought process. Tenderly sleeping beauty. I have more than enjoyed the script because of its slow pace. Keep innovating such unique styles dear. Poetry needs artiste like you.
I have liked the typical interminance that haunts throughout the poem along with the short time pauses which you have used in your narrative technique. Interminent yet not paused but a gradual script approaching thought process. Tenderly sleeping beauty. I have more than enjoyed the script because of its slow pace. Keep innovating such unique styles dear. Poetry needs artiste like you.
16th Jan 2011 11:52pm
I love this poem so much. Especially the second (third?) stanza. Bruised and wounded lips are about the sexiest thing ever.
17th Jan 2011 5:22pm
19th Jan 2011 11:29pm
because my struggle to find words to compliment this wont suit. ill just say bravo :)
19th Jan 2011 11:41pm
22nd Jan 2011 4:32am
Anonymous
24th Jan 2011 4:43am
A poem which successfully flaunts your sophistication as an artist, with finely chiselled verses and enviable focus and confidence of vision. The only suggestion I would make is that you remove the two dot ellipses and lower case "i"s, which belong in a more informal piece than this classical affair.
24th Jan 2011 11:36am
A comment from you is a precious feedback!
thanks a lot.
corrections are done
24th Jan 2011 7:43am
24th Jan 2011 11:36am
28th Jan 2011 1:32am
wow you know im a big fan of your work and havent really been commenting much on it but this i think could be your best one you have written or i have seen i like this a lot
28th Jan 2011 1:57am
