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Men: A User's Guide Chapter Twelve / Questions J
Why do men masturbate so much?
Women often tell me that they are intimidated by this and are jealous of the Internet in its offering of billions of images of perfection, and that their men seem more interested in masturbating than being with them. Women forget that, if they were to be honest, the frequency of sex in their relationships decreases usually over time and the capacity for men to need, want, and have to have it does not. Men may get tired and stressed, but, as previously discussed, a man who cannot get it up is not a man in his own mind. There is the thought of the 400,000,000 messengers he is saddled with every day. But there is a further note here that needs to be understood and addressed. If a man is not allowed to cry or have emotions in general, then the one time he gets a pass on that is when he is offline from the Wolf Pack and in the middle of an ejaculation. It's emotional free time. The more he is stressed or couped up or made to feel small or profoundly inelastic by his circumstances, the more lactic acid build up, the more he needs that release. Guys will poke fun at you, ladies, when they say, "Well, just tie it in a knot," when you have to pee. What they are actually alluding to, and these inside jokes are rampant everywhere in our conversations, is that you've got your biochemistry banging on your door and you can't tell it no. For men, this may be the only time they have to actually feel a moment's peace.
And too, men have this constant need to re-prove to themselves that they are not broken, that they are men, that that penis still works. Yep, still works…not impotent. 20 minutes later, wow, am I broken? Let me check that.
Also, advertisers and other women play on this all the time. Fiona Apple says it best…Criminal…She breaks him just because she can. Women love to tease the shit out of men. It does not mean that they want to have sex; it just means they are saying hey or getting some attention, so what? Devastating. Women talk about women like this who go after their men as "Your basic nightmare." Well, while you gals are bickering about who has supremacy of the moves, men are nearly strangling themselves to keep up. To not know this is to flirt with danger.
True, men do not need to fall for it. I agree. And if you wanted a robot, marry a vibrator. You want a man so that you can entice and rearrange his schedule for him, so then know the territory as they say in the Music Man. Just be aware of the situation you are facing. If this is your man, see him for what he is. On behalf of all men everywhere, I implore you to "take care of your shit." That is man talk for "if you are going to be in a relationship with a man, know what you are into. These are complex beasts that need more attention than your cat or dog." Eat it, Fuck it, or Forget it." The balls are in your court.
Why does he make comments about other women when he knows I am sitting right here?
Well, there is no excuse for his insensitivity. But. He is telling you something. The question is whether you are listening. If you get mad over that then you miss your golden opportunity to understand your situation. He is with you, but looking at her. When you ask questions like "What does she have that I don't have?" you may find out exactly what you need to know, but it will be a very bitter pill to swallow. She is not complaining, she looks ready for sex, she looks good in her clothes, she is a potential conquest, and she is ready right now. Your best attack of this circumstance is to raise the bar in your favor. He is asking you to crank it up a notch. "Do you see that?" Well, yes, her 32 double D's are hard to miss, but that is only a part of her package. Okay, size 1, and those stilettos are hard to miss. But he is not looking at that. She is potentially someone he might be with because she has not spoiled the mood. He is trying to talk with you about what she is doing right. You talk to him about his tie and you say, "Wouldn't you rather wear the red tie?" What you just said was, "You don't know what you want." Buzz kill. Then why is he with you? If you said, "Hmmmm…(grabbing the tie, kissing him and taking it off of him, and then slipping on the one you want and you kiss him harder and wetter) this one really, really, really makes me want to take it off again…and again…." Now, you could undermine his confidence, in which case every girl at the party looks better than you, or you could insure that he knows that he has it going on and you are in control of his attention since you set the mood. You might say, "I don't play games. I don't want to go around trying to shore up his ego and fragile masculinity." Don't bitch when some bimbo comes by and says, "Really nice tie…it sure is long, and thick, and big….I like it." Homey plays that.
If every other word out of your mouth is sarcasm or painful or ridicule or undermining, you ARE playing games, mind fucking games. And you will lose at this one. Because once that bimbo comes by and flinches, she will make you look like the bumper on his truck….this whole story line goes to a very sad place.
Why does he only last 40 seconds?
As discussed, men have an unutterable fear of failure when it comes to cumming…that being said, they are often lazy as hell on the end game of sex. Men on average take 40 seconds to cum. Women on the order of 20 minutes to 2 hours. This is its own skill….If a woman does not have multiple orgasms, then the man is off his mission. It would be better for him not to cum and her to cum 7 times. But then fear rules him, and he has to know. Foreplay is where this can be taken care of…..and then end play, teaching him the actual amount of time it takes you. If you do not show him, he has to guess. Most pornos are how long? What does he know? The truth is, that right away, a woman should actually get off in front of a man in order to show him what she likes and to insure she does get off. If you get him involved too soon, he will ejaculate and figure you got yours. Don't do that…Get her off, get her off, repeat as long as necessary until she actually does climax, and then go at it…and then it will all make sense.
What the hell does he want from me?
Okay. Let's lay the cards out. Eat it, Fuck it, or Forget it. He needs to eat. He needs to Fuck. And he needs to forget it. Let's define these. He needs a steady diet of you are his sanctuary. That dissipates with every negative comment. Every time you are the bearer of bad news, he goes further from you. If you are encouraging and building and sustaining, you will have a healthy man that will do anything for you. Simple, eh? The world can be against him and she can say, "Go get'em Tiger," and he is totally unleashed. The opposite of that is also true. If she undercuts his confidence, a man with everything will end up with nothing. The streets are littered with men who are smart, attractive, well-mannered, and good souls, and they had one thing that they all shared in common: A woman who cut him down to size. Maybe in your mind he deserved it. Maybe he did. But maybe you just took him down unknowingly and he ended up broken and despairing because his reason for living just baled on him. Men can check out for lots of reasons; don't be that reason.
He is not at all empathetic and only thinks about himself, why should I suck that?
Okay. You shouldn't. Really. But be honest with him and tell him that it is over. If he responds and works through it, then you got your man back on track. If you are totally done and this asshole is not going to get another attempt at civility, then be honest about it. You are done. You don't owe anyone anything in life. You give of yourself freely. You need to be appreciated.
The reason things are out of control is that there is no control. No one ever has control. Women need to know that they are wanted. Men need to know that they are appreciated. When this goes well, it is awesome. When this goes sour, it is fucked up and heart breaking. Don’t waste time beating your head against a wall. If you cannot respect this guy ever again, you are done.
If you are trying to pump life back into your relationship, then sure, go at it. Get him so excited that he has to have you. What is missing is that drive. If you have had to take over because he was fired or laid off or got injured, he is vulnerable. If he is now impotent and can't get it up, then you have to ask if you can be a floor show for him. If he knows he can fulfill you in some other way, he has a purpose. He can eat it, he can finger fuck it, and he can at least know that you are not forgetting him. This one point is 10,000 words easy.
And the NUMBER ONE asked question: Would I be happier with another guy?
I want to use the remainder of the writing on this one question. It will hinge on your answer to this question: Do I understand a man well enough to even have a relationship with him, and am I capable of tolerating the insecurity of being in a relationship at all?
Remember: A man is not a woman, by definition, and so what kind of woman you are will determine what kind of man you pick out as a mate. You are ultimately in control of that. You need to be a responsible owner of a male of the species. Ladies, curb your dogs. The Wolf Pack is in session.
Women often tell me that they are intimidated by this and are jealous of the Internet in its offering of billions of images of perfection, and that their men seem more interested in masturbating than being with them. Women forget that, if they were to be honest, the frequency of sex in their relationships decreases usually over time and the capacity for men to need, want, and have to have it does not. Men may get tired and stressed, but, as previously discussed, a man who cannot get it up is not a man in his own mind. There is the thought of the 400,000,000 messengers he is saddled with every day. But there is a further note here that needs to be understood and addressed. If a man is not allowed to cry or have emotions in general, then the one time he gets a pass on that is when he is offline from the Wolf Pack and in the middle of an ejaculation. It's emotional free time. The more he is stressed or couped up or made to feel small or profoundly inelastic by his circumstances, the more lactic acid build up, the more he needs that release. Guys will poke fun at you, ladies, when they say, "Well, just tie it in a knot," when you have to pee. What they are actually alluding to, and these inside jokes are rampant everywhere in our conversations, is that you've got your biochemistry banging on your door and you can't tell it no. For men, this may be the only time they have to actually feel a moment's peace.
And too, men have this constant need to re-prove to themselves that they are not broken, that they are men, that that penis still works. Yep, still works…not impotent. 20 minutes later, wow, am I broken? Let me check that.
Also, advertisers and other women play on this all the time. Fiona Apple says it best…Criminal…She breaks him just because she can. Women love to tease the shit out of men. It does not mean that they want to have sex; it just means they are saying hey or getting some attention, so what? Devastating. Women talk about women like this who go after their men as "Your basic nightmare." Well, while you gals are bickering about who has supremacy of the moves, men are nearly strangling themselves to keep up. To not know this is to flirt with danger.
True, men do not need to fall for it. I agree. And if you wanted a robot, marry a vibrator. You want a man so that you can entice and rearrange his schedule for him, so then know the territory as they say in the Music Man. Just be aware of the situation you are facing. If this is your man, see him for what he is. On behalf of all men everywhere, I implore you to "take care of your shit." That is man talk for "if you are going to be in a relationship with a man, know what you are into. These are complex beasts that need more attention than your cat or dog." Eat it, Fuck it, or Forget it." The balls are in your court.
Why does he make comments about other women when he knows I am sitting right here?
Well, there is no excuse for his insensitivity. But. He is telling you something. The question is whether you are listening. If you get mad over that then you miss your golden opportunity to understand your situation. He is with you, but looking at her. When you ask questions like "What does she have that I don't have?" you may find out exactly what you need to know, but it will be a very bitter pill to swallow. She is not complaining, she looks ready for sex, she looks good in her clothes, she is a potential conquest, and she is ready right now. Your best attack of this circumstance is to raise the bar in your favor. He is asking you to crank it up a notch. "Do you see that?" Well, yes, her 32 double D's are hard to miss, but that is only a part of her package. Okay, size 1, and those stilettos are hard to miss. But he is not looking at that. She is potentially someone he might be with because she has not spoiled the mood. He is trying to talk with you about what she is doing right. You talk to him about his tie and you say, "Wouldn't you rather wear the red tie?" What you just said was, "You don't know what you want." Buzz kill. Then why is he with you? If you said, "Hmmmm…(grabbing the tie, kissing him and taking it off of him, and then slipping on the one you want and you kiss him harder and wetter) this one really, really, really makes me want to take it off again…and again…." Now, you could undermine his confidence, in which case every girl at the party looks better than you, or you could insure that he knows that he has it going on and you are in control of his attention since you set the mood. You might say, "I don't play games. I don't want to go around trying to shore up his ego and fragile masculinity." Don't bitch when some bimbo comes by and says, "Really nice tie…it sure is long, and thick, and big….I like it." Homey plays that.
If every other word out of your mouth is sarcasm or painful or ridicule or undermining, you ARE playing games, mind fucking games. And you will lose at this one. Because once that bimbo comes by and flinches, she will make you look like the bumper on his truck….this whole story line goes to a very sad place.
Why does he only last 40 seconds?
As discussed, men have an unutterable fear of failure when it comes to cumming…that being said, they are often lazy as hell on the end game of sex. Men on average take 40 seconds to cum. Women on the order of 20 minutes to 2 hours. This is its own skill….If a woman does not have multiple orgasms, then the man is off his mission. It would be better for him not to cum and her to cum 7 times. But then fear rules him, and he has to know. Foreplay is where this can be taken care of…..and then end play, teaching him the actual amount of time it takes you. If you do not show him, he has to guess. Most pornos are how long? What does he know? The truth is, that right away, a woman should actually get off in front of a man in order to show him what she likes and to insure she does get off. If you get him involved too soon, he will ejaculate and figure you got yours. Don't do that…Get her off, get her off, repeat as long as necessary until she actually does climax, and then go at it…and then it will all make sense.
What the hell does he want from me?
Okay. Let's lay the cards out. Eat it, Fuck it, or Forget it. He needs to eat. He needs to Fuck. And he needs to forget it. Let's define these. He needs a steady diet of you are his sanctuary. That dissipates with every negative comment. Every time you are the bearer of bad news, he goes further from you. If you are encouraging and building and sustaining, you will have a healthy man that will do anything for you. Simple, eh? The world can be against him and she can say, "Go get'em Tiger," and he is totally unleashed. The opposite of that is also true. If she undercuts his confidence, a man with everything will end up with nothing. The streets are littered with men who are smart, attractive, well-mannered, and good souls, and they had one thing that they all shared in common: A woman who cut him down to size. Maybe in your mind he deserved it. Maybe he did. But maybe you just took him down unknowingly and he ended up broken and despairing because his reason for living just baled on him. Men can check out for lots of reasons; don't be that reason.
He is not at all empathetic and only thinks about himself, why should I suck that?
Okay. You shouldn't. Really. But be honest with him and tell him that it is over. If he responds and works through it, then you got your man back on track. If you are totally done and this asshole is not going to get another attempt at civility, then be honest about it. You are done. You don't owe anyone anything in life. You give of yourself freely. You need to be appreciated.
The reason things are out of control is that there is no control. No one ever has control. Women need to know that they are wanted. Men need to know that they are appreciated. When this goes well, it is awesome. When this goes sour, it is fucked up and heart breaking. Don’t waste time beating your head against a wall. If you cannot respect this guy ever again, you are done.
If you are trying to pump life back into your relationship, then sure, go at it. Get him so excited that he has to have you. What is missing is that drive. If you have had to take over because he was fired or laid off or got injured, he is vulnerable. If he is now impotent and can't get it up, then you have to ask if you can be a floor show for him. If he knows he can fulfill you in some other way, he has a purpose. He can eat it, he can finger fuck it, and he can at least know that you are not forgetting him. This one point is 10,000 words easy.
And the NUMBER ONE asked question: Would I be happier with another guy?
I want to use the remainder of the writing on this one question. It will hinge on your answer to this question: Do I understand a man well enough to even have a relationship with him, and am I capable of tolerating the insecurity of being in a relationship at all?
Remember: A man is not a woman, by definition, and so what kind of woman you are will determine what kind of man you pick out as a mate. You are ultimately in control of that. You need to be a responsible owner of a male of the species. Ladies, curb your dogs. The Wolf Pack is in session.
Published 21st Sep 2013
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21st Sep 2013 3:21pm
RT: that was a whole series of writes. Personally, I believe a man is a human being who is with you because he cares for you: you nurture his love and he yours, in different ways. Sex is an ingredient in a relationship, you want the relationship to be sweet and savoury, as you wish, you add in more ingredients. Space is paramount however so you dont kill the object of your love by over dominance.:)) In my Humble Opinion.
21st Sep 2013 4:49pm
I so totally agree with you. A hand on his thigh or shoulder just to let him know that you are there, is crucial. Men need to know that there is some safety in his relationship, not just to be controlling but for her safety. If he does all of this and she ends up unsafe and things go south, not only is his work fruitless, and he is a failed protector, but he is not much of a man in that he has failed in his objective. Mission 101 is to secure the perimeter with her inside. Her absolute freedom is appreciated. A good man will never reveal the 10,000 ways he tracks her safety, not to control her but to secure her safety. He is unseen and this goes unnoticed if he is good at it.
21st Sep 2013 4:22pm
Well that was quite a bit too ingest. Love the Fiona apple reference.. she's a personal fav of mine
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7nekCeeRyg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZ7nekCeeRyg
I never thought there was anything wrong with a man masturbating, I mean hell, I've done it. The only thing that seems to bug me is if I'm right there, I'm right fucking there so there's no need.
"Women need to know that they are wanted. Men need to know that they are appreciated."
Now ain't that the truth. I agree if you really feel like somethings missing to get him excited enough to need you then and there. Tease the fuck out of him till he attacks you, it leads to great sex and both parties are mutually satisfied for the time being.
Interesting "guide" you have here... If my attention span could handle it I'd be tempted see what else you've got haha.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7nekCeeRyg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZ7nekCeeRyg
I never thought there was anything wrong with a man masturbating, I mean hell, I've done it. The only thing that seems to bug me is if I'm right there, I'm right fucking there so there's no need.
"Women need to know that they are wanted. Men need to know that they are appreciated."
Now ain't that the truth. I agree if you really feel like somethings missing to get him excited enough to need you then and there. Tease the fuck out of him till he attacks you, it leads to great sex and both parties are mutually satisfied for the time being.
Interesting "guide" you have here... If my attention span could handle it I'd be tempted see what else you've got haha.
21st Sep 2013 7:00pm
I'm really just putting all this into an organized whole so that I can complete this online book....The parts up front are the questions, generally, and the main text is to follow. Thanks for you comments, Sixxx, I value your input. Our writing together led me to trust your vision and insight, so I will take that as a positive in the most positive light.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Sep 2013 5:53pm
21st Sep 2013 5:52pm
<< post removed >>
22nd Sep 2013 11:31am
This one will take a few days since I am synthesizing about 100,000 words.
22nd Sep 2013 4:39am
Very interesting read altogether. I am always interested in getting your take on things...
It does go both ways though -- I think neither should undercut or nag the other party -- it is as much of a turn off for women as it is for men -- trust me I speak from experience....
And just like men don't like to be constantly taken down a notch cause it spoils intimacy women don't like it much either, and a lot of men are just as good as women in doing just that....
I guess the ultimate lesson is that if you want good sex you gotta give good love first whether you are a man or a woman.... :) <3
It does go both ways though -- I think neither should undercut or nag the other party -- it is as much of a turn off for women as it is for men -- trust me I speak from experience....
And just like men don't like to be constantly taken down a notch cause it spoils intimacy women don't like it much either, and a lot of men are just as good as women in doing just that....
I guess the ultimate lesson is that if you want good sex you gotta give good love first whether you are a man or a woman.... :) <3
22nd Sep 2013 5:01am
I totally agree..aggressiveness and slander and animosity and sarcasm..are just ways of saying, "I don't really value you."
I know that you know this score and are one of the most tender hearts I know...It is a waste of time to force open something or someone so willing to be a partner and a friend...why break the hinge on a beautiful door?
I know that you know this score and are one of the most tender hearts I know...It is a waste of time to force open something or someone so willing to be a partner and a friend...why break the hinge on a beautiful door?
23rd Sep 2013 3:21am
I agree with what you say here and you say it so beautifully with your analogy.
The topic is one that I have a lot more to say about but will have to wait until I have more time on the computer -- I could probably write a book.
P.S. I know you are a man's man but underneath you have a pretty tender sweet heart yourself....
The topic is one that I have a lot more to say about but will have to wait until I have more time on the computer -- I could probably write a book.
P.S. I know you are a man's man but underneath you have a pretty tender sweet heart yourself....
23rd Sep 2013 3:44am
22nd Sep 2013 9:48am
Everything you write here feels like it should be common sense, Sir. I've never understood how a woman can't keep a man interested in her. Sure, dressing up and folding yourself into a pretzel to keep him interested isn't everyone's cup of tea... but if that's what it takes every so often, is it really asking that much?
It goes both ways though. If I keep in shape, make myself look good for him; I'd like that reciprocated.
More than that, it's communication. Why can't a woman ask her mate this? Can't she sit down and put the cards on the table without emasculating him?
It goes both ways though. If I keep in shape, make myself look good for him; I'd like that reciprocated.
More than that, it's communication. Why can't a woman ask her mate this? Can't she sit down and put the cards on the table without emasculating him?
22nd Sep 2013 12:12pm
Your approach here is as non-threatening and yet as straightforward as it gets, and still, even with the most amazing guys, the answer is that it is difficult at best.
Let's take the most simple concepts. He comes in from work and he is obviously disturbed by something that happened today, and so she says, "What's wrong?" His immediate reaction is not, "Oh, goodie, now I will have chance to share my feelings and catharitically work through this problem of my ill will towards my co-workers." Nope. He will be thinking, "Oh, crap, here is something else I have to fix, and can be criticized about, and that I am not comfortable with working on, and so this set up for failure is bound to make me feel impotent and self-destructive; where is my booze?"
This is where knowing the territory can aid a woman in knowing how to unravel his angst over his emotions.
1. He does not need to know if you have been able to ascertain if he is in a blue funk. He is showing you.
2. Men in "Obvious mode" want to be listened to under their own terms. He is on a mission.
3. Discuss everything that went right today. When he is saturated with your perfect little world, he will say, "I am glad you had such a Smurfy time of it today; this bastard over in the transportation department tried to blame his mistakes on me and get me fired."
4. He has to know that he has no pending work and nothing is broken at home. When he has even that level of success, he will feel at ease enough to open a can of worms. You never go fishing if your roof is leaking.
5. If you have a problem, emotional work, that needs to be done, think about this. He has to be off-line from his work projects. Take him by the hands, sit on the couch together, and get his full attention. The reason this sounds so unlikely is that men guard against these moments by filling their lives with shit to do. They are always too busy. And there is always a game on. That is no accident. The Wolf Pack has ingeniously made the perfect excuse: There is always a crucial critical absolutely most important thing happening all the time so all of this frilly emotional crap never gets a chance to get a fingernail under it. The entire system is designed that way. He always needs to be paying attention to something that is necessary, so that he has an excuse not to do the hard work. Emotional shit is tough for men. Re-building an engine is a piece of cake.
You gave away the problem when you used the word "reciprocated." If you give to him in the hopes that he will give it back, you are a hooker and that disparagement is the basis for the Madonna/whore analysis. You are angry because you did something for him and he did not reciprocate. I do a favor for you and you do a favor for me. Extortion. That is a male tactic, and so he side steps you by saying, "Don't do my any favors." The Wolf Pack has this all figured out. That's why you have to think like a woman the entire time.
So,,,,,,,,,
"I need you to listen to me for about 30 minutes because I need your opinion about something."
Direct, time limit, behavioral objective with clear end points. You talk, he listens, he tells you what he thinks, and it is over in 30, Cool.
This is how he talks. "I'm going with the guys down to the pool hall and we are gonna talk about some shit for a few hours, have a couple of beers, and I'll be back by 6."
Girls don't talk like that. They say, "I'm going shopping with my mom and a few of the girls, there's sandwiches in the fridge, I'll be back."
And while you're gone, he rebuilds the transmission.
While he's gone, you clean out the pantry and check the dates to make sure things aren't expired.
Everyone plays a part.
Don't ask what is wrong. Make everything right, and he will see an opening to tell you.
Let's take the most simple concepts. He comes in from work and he is obviously disturbed by something that happened today, and so she says, "What's wrong?" His immediate reaction is not, "Oh, goodie, now I will have chance to share my feelings and catharitically work through this problem of my ill will towards my co-workers." Nope. He will be thinking, "Oh, crap, here is something else I have to fix, and can be criticized about, and that I am not comfortable with working on, and so this set up for failure is bound to make me feel impotent and self-destructive; where is my booze?"
This is where knowing the territory can aid a woman in knowing how to unravel his angst over his emotions.
1. He does not need to know if you have been able to ascertain if he is in a blue funk. He is showing you.
2. Men in "Obvious mode" want to be listened to under their own terms. He is on a mission.
3. Discuss everything that went right today. When he is saturated with your perfect little world, he will say, "I am glad you had such a Smurfy time of it today; this bastard over in the transportation department tried to blame his mistakes on me and get me fired."
4. He has to know that he has no pending work and nothing is broken at home. When he has even that level of success, he will feel at ease enough to open a can of worms. You never go fishing if your roof is leaking.
5. If you have a problem, emotional work, that needs to be done, think about this. He has to be off-line from his work projects. Take him by the hands, sit on the couch together, and get his full attention. The reason this sounds so unlikely is that men guard against these moments by filling their lives with shit to do. They are always too busy. And there is always a game on. That is no accident. The Wolf Pack has ingeniously made the perfect excuse: There is always a crucial critical absolutely most important thing happening all the time so all of this frilly emotional crap never gets a chance to get a fingernail under it. The entire system is designed that way. He always needs to be paying attention to something that is necessary, so that he has an excuse not to do the hard work. Emotional shit is tough for men. Re-building an engine is a piece of cake.
You gave away the problem when you used the word "reciprocated." If you give to him in the hopes that he will give it back, you are a hooker and that disparagement is the basis for the Madonna/whore analysis. You are angry because you did something for him and he did not reciprocate. I do a favor for you and you do a favor for me. Extortion. That is a male tactic, and so he side steps you by saying, "Don't do my any favors." The Wolf Pack has this all figured out. That's why you have to think like a woman the entire time.
So,,,,,,,,,
"I need you to listen to me for about 30 minutes because I need your opinion about something."
Direct, time limit, behavioral objective with clear end points. You talk, he listens, he tells you what he thinks, and it is over in 30, Cool.
This is how he talks. "I'm going with the guys down to the pool hall and we are gonna talk about some shit for a few hours, have a couple of beers, and I'll be back by 6."
Girls don't talk like that. They say, "I'm going shopping with my mom and a few of the girls, there's sandwiches in the fridge, I'll be back."
And while you're gone, he rebuilds the transmission.
While he's gone, you clean out the pantry and check the dates to make sure things aren't expired.
Everyone plays a part.
Don't ask what is wrong. Make everything right, and he will see an opening to tell you.
22nd Sep 2013 12:38pm
PS, think of the words "emasculating him." Let's restate that in his terms. "She is feminizing me."
Girls can wear anything and they get away with it. Guys in an even gown look like they are in drag, because they are.
http://www.pochepictures.com/images/lailaali.jpg
http://wodumedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Jada-Pinkett-plays-Niobe-in-Warner-Bros-provocative-futuristic-action-thriller-The-Matrix-Revolutions-2003-171-650x366.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkQ5qUH_IeI
Girls can wear anything and they get away with it. Guys in an even gown look like they are in drag, because they are.
http://www.pochepictures.com/images/lailaali.jpg
http://wodumedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Jada-Pinkett-plays-Niobe-in-Warner-Bros-provocative-futuristic-action-thriller-The-Matrix-Revolutions-2003-171-650x366.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkQ5qUH_IeI
22nd Sep 2013 1:58pm
There isn't anger involved if whatever is not reciprocated.
I simply expect it... if he doesn't look good, I sure as hell ain't being over backwards to please him, the same way he wouldn't if I suddenly weighed more than 110lbs.
In that respect, I'm like a man... if I can't eat it or fuck it, I piss on it and walk away.
I do understand men not just sitting down over a cup of tea and saying "Kat, work was terrible today and I'm exhausted because xyz" totally get that they aren't wired that way and some thoughts and feelings need to be anticipated by me if I want to get anything out of him.
This is why fixing shit with sex is so much easier but in the long run it's doing neither of us any good.
I simply expect it... if he doesn't look good, I sure as hell ain't being over backwards to please him, the same way he wouldn't if I suddenly weighed more than 110lbs.
In that respect, I'm like a man... if I can't eat it or fuck it, I piss on it and walk away.
I do understand men not just sitting down over a cup of tea and saying "Kat, work was terrible today and I'm exhausted because xyz" totally get that they aren't wired that way and some thoughts and feelings need to be anticipated by me if I want to get anything out of him.
This is why fixing shit with sex is so much easier but in the long run it's doing neither of us any good.
22nd Sep 2013 2:10pm
