Rejecting Redemption

 
Blackened heart
Rising from the ashes  
Incinerated from fire of hell  
Not literally  
Only metaphorically  
But my imaginings are just as well  
 
Rejecting a savior  
Challenging the dark one  
Seeking a middle ground  
There seems none  
I must pick one  
At least that's what I hear around  
 
Could I ever be saved?
I know this not  
But hell makes me shiver in fear  
I hesitate surrender  
Commitment forever  
With all my questions right here  
 
Sins so addicting  
Don't wanna give up  
The things I love doing so much  
I hate religions  
These stories of crimson  
And talk of a holy saving touch  
 
I hate feeling weak  
Needing someone big  
I force myself up on my own  
I will survive  
Won't make it out alive  
But either way I guess I'm home