Dear Self...

dear 2 year old self:

don’t forget
this fear you feel
while monsters
rip off your innocence

remembering
will teach you
to guard yourself
and protect others


dear 6 year old self:

be a six year old
this will anger him
he will beat you
you will survive

the bruises will heal
the blood will stop
and you will learn
to stand again


dear 7 year old self:

tell mom he hurts you
nothing will change
until she catches him
she likes he depends on her

she will choose you, not him
this will remind you she loves you
when future actions say differently
you will need this memory


dear 13 year old self:

cherish this rage and resentment
it will give you a bottom
a dark blemish to pick
when you need to bleed

this will teach you of contrast
will give you a place to not return
a measure of balance
when there are too many stones


dear 16 year old self:

though not perfect
you’re in a better place
yet you pray to die
continue this plea

you will look back with longing
and wish you had appreciated more
this will teach you
to value all things good


dear 18 year old self:

leave; abandon your family
it will hurt you
more than it hurts them
neither of you will understand

this will teach you to be independent
to rely on no one
to desire the simplistic concerns of sixteen
and to treasure their advice


dear 19 year old self:

marry him
he will hurt you, a lot
but you will learn forgiveness
and tolerance

he will give you three precious gems
they will teach you more than ten lifetimes could
they will become the purpose of each breath you take
you will understand the why of your past


dear self now:

you deserve the love you are receiving
you deserve the inner peace you are feeling
you deserve the happy you are portraying
never question its rights

accept it and embrace it
my advice to you is simply this
change nothing; and
do. it. again.