Pariah's Plunder

decent flow bro. sounds like a freestyle. not that that is a bad thing. keep it up. don't force the rhyme tho.

"sieze the moment
freeze and own it"----pretty damn close to a line out of shady's one shot .....

careful with that....

otherwise well done sir......

now tell us how you really feel............

Ey thanks dude, yeah this one is from like 3 or  4 years back... Most of the ones I'll post here will be old ones..until I start writing again. I wrote a couple of short  ones recently. I do feel a bit addicted to rhyming because I enjoy it so much. Thanks for the heads up. I was just rhyming what came to mind wasn't trying to use an em line at all. I'm actually quite paranoid of having someone steal a line that came from my mind, so last thing I would want to do is be a hypocrite and take someone elses. Appreciate the feedback, peace.

Ps were you referring to one shot by em and D12 or lose yourself by eminem? Because the only similarity I saw was the words seize and moment ... Which is a pretty common saying 'seize the moment"

it was the chorus you were referring to! It dawned on me today..lol.

Cool Ink! Some wicked lines in there! Nice! :)
Welcome and Pen On~

Haha why sank you...for the kind words and welcome. I shall be peeping your page sooner then later.

Strong and direct. This had a hard pull to it, a sense of forward movement that demanded attention.  
‘perspire under
a liar's summer’

Potent. All kinds of meanings in those lines. You’ve created a formidable season, one that holds nothing but falsities and missteps, and yet you’ve let your audience know that durability, flexibility will be the only means of departing it – that there will be a passing of it if only you strive forward hard enough.

‘misery's pleased yet homeless’

This line was the pinching of rigid features, a touch of amusement that was not the kind that drew a smile, but was drawn from a wry, perhaps bitter self derision. Misery is only happy when forgotten, a being that despised its own existence for the gray that it brought a world of color. Yet here it is rejoicing. It hasn’t a sanctuary, hasn’t four walls and an open door to restrain all that should glow brilliantly and it is happiest for it.

Beautiful piece of imagery.

Thanks, the way you take the time to give your take is hella cool. I jump around on thoughts so much when I'm writing, so I could imagine it must be a challenge for the reader to get a sense of what or whom I'm referring to half the time. With that being said, I really appreciate this kind of feedback. I like to leave a little mystery in my pieces. For some it might just be words that rhyme, with not much meaning behind them, but It's refreshing to hear the perspective of my poem from behind your eyes view. " It hasn’t a sanctuary, hasn’t four walls and an open door to restrain all that should glow brilliantly and it is happiest for it. " my gosh you're like a lean mean quoting machine lol

I'm an analysis junky. I love breaking down pretty much any type of literature I can get my hands on. Your pieces are fun because of the chaos of them. They leave bread crumbs, begging for connection, for identity in the lines that lie beneath the words.

That is awesome. I am too, most of my analyzations...turn into mental notes and  I stash them away for future reference. Haha catch me if you can I'm the gingerbread man! All of this analyzing talk reminds me of one of my favorite lines..those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night-poe