Some Kind Of Love

Let's stop the mind games
Doctor
But I only ask
In my head

Staring holes through
The glass wall
Your eyes only showing
Slight amusement

You already know
What I will say and do
But you take your time
And read my eyes

You tell me what
I already know
And you know I know
Too

"Why are you visiting?
Miss me already?"
You ask
Patronizingly

Your eyes that
Never change
Flicker slightly
A look I've never seen

Except once when
We first spoke
And you realized that
I needed you

But now that look
Retreats back
Into the darkness of
Your blood stained eyes

As I walk to
Your cell door and
You follow
Diligently

My hands shake as
I place the key in
You know I'm confused but
You're not going to help yet

I turn the key and
You push the door slowly open
I walk passed the
Guard whose eyes were closed

And with several flashes
Of an access card to censors
Doors open and doors shut
And I step out into the air

You followed quietly I
Almost thought I lost you
I begin walking
To a home away from home

I don't dare to look
Behind to see if you're
There I open the door of the
Room I shouldn't be able to afford

I suddenly realize that
You have followed the whole
Time but I still don't turn
Around to face what I've needed

But the inevitable comes upon as
You speak to me in my ear standing
Behind me waiting to see my reaction to
What you're saying but I don't register

I only lay in my bed knowing
You're watching but I can't
Possibly look to face what
I've just done, what I've set loose

But deep within I know that
You're not going to
Do that anymore but maybe
Once in a while to keep control

And if you do
And if you devour
I can't resist to
Keep you from white walls

You know it you know my
Weakness and inability to
Restrain you but you politely keep me
In check because you need me, too

So with a desperate nauseated feeling of
Hate and love somewhere skewed on my face
You lay beside me and tell me not to be scared
You know I'm not because I don't run from your grasp

Anymore