I'm The Monster...

I’m the monster, who solemnly hides behind the pretty smile on my face,
Who makes up lies after lies just to not feel out of place.
Even after knowing you truthfully care and adore me,
It’s just a revolting trick to have you next to me.
My kind and understanding words charming you,
Bringing you to a glistening moment where you think such love is true.
I’ve tried to warn you about the horror behind my mask,
But I turn away for when my eyes tear up and you ask.
Wondering what’s going on in my mind and what can be wrong,
This monster in disguise of someone else never thought her tricks can go on for so long.
I scar myself to let out the pain,
That slowly even though is still driving me insane.
I made up and said out lies,
Just because no one would hear my saddened cries…
But I saw you care and hold me in your arms as tight you could,
I didn’t understand why… and what would happen if I let myself go… I didn’t know if I should.
I’m still me though… the monster hiding behind my face…
Thinking of it now… I see myself as a disgrace.
But I tried to warn you and you didn’t listen,
Now I have become your horrid and addicting burden.
Forgive me now or forgive me never,
Just don’t let your soul fill up with anger.
Yes, I planned it this way, or at least I knew it would somehow turn out this way…
I didn’t do anything to stop it… seeing that my life is still a torture every day…
I’m the monster, who solemnly hides behind the pretty smile on my face,
Who makes up lies after lies just to not feel out of place…