A Blessing and A Curse

A blessing,  and a curse
Can't figure out which came first

A heart in pain,  needs it nursed
n' so as I put these words to verse...

There are those who would say
I don't understand, so I can't relay
Spray back my emotions, I'm in a quandary
These expectations  of hope... launder me
Mind left on pause, stuck for days
Awakening to reality, not 'broadway plays'

It's a blessing to be given so much
and it's a curse, when it also your crutch
Many times when you struggle to be understood
They up, and leave you like you knew they would
You been blessed with much, so many gifts
Why is it you live amongst alot of  thankless stiffs

Wandering thru a life, feeling so clueless
He says to himself, love will get me through this
Along comes hope, and one such possibility
Then gone the next minute, this is his insanity

A blessing, and a curse
Running the race from last to first
Can't determine which is worse...
For three steps progress, ten back in reverse

Got find a way to distinguish which came first
Was it the blessing,  or the curse...?