Breaking the Mirror

Spinning
Around and around
Down
 Down
   Down

Or is it the walls around me
That, are spinning all around?

Spinning so fast I cannot see
Everything is a smokey blur

I try to run, as fast as I can
But those nights of mindless, depressed binges
And   sedentary few years,
of weight hold me down

I hate the face in the mirror
Changing her is difficult
Exhausted and fearful

My fear is stupid, my phobias are just that,
Irrational
Letting the voice in my head have its control
I’d like to punch her and make her shut up

So, here I am
Spinning around
Losing my ground

I’m fighting to make that step
To stop the lazy Susan I’m on

Don’t want to break my hand when I punch the mirror
Breaking her face and her fears
Slicing her vocal chords

But I do it
I don’t mind the blood anyway
Slipping to the counter, falling down the drain
It slips to the floor

She tries to laugh
Tell me it won’t work, she is still there
But, the broken glass cuts her off
She’s falling

Caught between the pieces and the blood
She’s falling down the drain

Refreshed and renewed
Though my demons still lurk
They were never the ones to hurt me though
Just her

My first step taken
Now I can begin again