She Warbles When She Flies

Tonight, i'm dressed in shadows, again
These weightless stalkers from then
I dance alone with the same song
Chords from the past to last the night long
The same song i've cried to a thousand times
And try my best to pretend
I may keep dry eyes through the end

I loved her, i love her still
Insult, i don't mean, but
I don't believe you know what i mean
I love her the exact same
I think her name and my heart is clean
And then the truth
A torrent of pain, that i may never again
Beck the call of my whippoorwill

It's the same
This feeling so familiar
This combination of absolute longing
The most there can be of superiority and inadequacy
All at once
How am i not with her?
I do deserve her, but more than that
I deserve to know that she
Deserves me
Deserved me
I had so much goodwill to burn
And it swept the plain like an august blaze
And i'm left alone with incendiary thoughts
That i was good for her
That i could have helped her
That i should have made her life better

It's a weary existence
Once i love, i can't abandon
And so i go
And i love people who are not there
And they don't love me
And i'd die for people who do not care
And, were i to die, they would not be there

And though i feel i am the master
I walk the servant's chambers
And i wait for a bell to answer
That shall never pierce the air

- DyMc