Cutting

I lay in my bed
everything is to hand for my pleasure
the candles are lit
the room in half light
i lay flat and look up
the ceiling is one large mirror
i see myself reflected
naked from the waist up
the white sheet from the waist down
i see the shapes of my legs
under the thin cotton
the dip between my thighs
the tent caused by my arousal
i reach over and grab the blade
it glistens in the candle light
i feel it's edge with my thumb
and it slides smoothly along it
i have spent time sharpening this
i know it is very sharp
very dangerous
i slip the blade down the front
of the cover
i feel it's coolness against my thighs
i move it upwards
guided by my reflection
i feel the blade on my balls
and instinctively open my legs
the sheet moves with me
i run the sharp silver across my flesh
and feel the sting...the slice
the hot liquid
redness blossoms across the white cotton
how deep did i cut?
i have no idea
but i am in ecstacy
from letting blood
feeling me bleed
seeing the sheet turn red
i look across at the woman
she has been watching me
very still, almost stone
she smiles as she takes a bandage
from her medical bag
my stepmother will make me better
patch me up and kiss my wounds
bind the crepe bandage around my waist
and between my thighs
pulling it tight until i moan
she always does...