my boy

 there is something inside of me that
wants me dead
it sleeps by day and talks to me by night
it teaches me how to hurt the ones I love and
destroy everything i touch
it wants me for itself
it feeds on my misery and sadness
it would make me even weaker
if i didnt feed it with alcohol, drugs and cigarettes
it is circle
never ending
struggle
it is part of me that has to eat
i cant let a part of me to die
i actually love
him
hes the only one
that makes me a company
my one and only
lover
boy who sings me lullabies