deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ripple
Sometimes captured in tame swirls
of dew-frosted morning breezes,
I don't breathe.
At a gamble of a step the water stops,
drops, and rolls, away from my footprint;
crafting a thousand ringed shadows of disorder.
Gnarled skeletons of trees flinch backwards with a gasp
of rustled shock, cowering away into the unseen.
Someone I used to recognize launches a flare
for help in-between the first thought
and the second; I dismiss them.
Smoke lingers as an unwanted ghost.
I radiate destruction, involuntarily drawing
out my dagger with every movement,
mutilating peace.
The click of a pistol flicked off safety
echoes in the cavernous vacuum of my mind,
thoughts urging forward at the speed of light.
Heart beats race as rabbits, shot down one by one.
A statue consumed by caution.
Often when the first bruising of light
darkens the sky, I don't breathe.
I will cause no ripples.
of dew-frosted morning breezes,
I don't breathe.
At a gamble of a step the water stops,
drops, and rolls, away from my footprint;
crafting a thousand ringed shadows of disorder.
Gnarled skeletons of trees flinch backwards with a gasp
of rustled shock, cowering away into the unseen.
Someone I used to recognize launches a flare
for help in-between the first thought
and the second; I dismiss them.
Smoke lingers as an unwanted ghost.
I radiate destruction, involuntarily drawing
out my dagger with every movement,
mutilating peace.
The click of a pistol flicked off safety
echoes in the cavernous vacuum of my mind,
thoughts urging forward at the speed of light.
Heart beats race as rabbits, shot down one by one.
A statue consumed by caution.
Often when the first bruising of light
darkens the sky, I don't breathe.
I will cause no ripples.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 18
reading list entries 1
comments 30
reads 1156
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Ripple
15th May 2013 6:18pm
You wove such a melancholy tapestry of beauty in this poem..wonderful..peace Crim
1
Re: Ripple
15th May 2013 6:48pm
I see much in this wonderful write Scribbler..deep indeed...my own spins im sure...but i thank You for it...a Beautiful write of art!!!
1
Re: Ripple
15th May 2013 7:03pm
I really like how you incorporate the death of rabbits in this considering they often symbolize innocence. Grade a writing as always I see scribbs ^_^
1
re: Re: Ripple
Thank you for noticing about the rabbits,
and thank you for your comment :)
and thank you for your comment :)
Re: Ripple
15th May 2013 7:09pm
I love this Scribbler!
"I radiate destruction, involuntarily drawing
out my dagger with every movement,
mutilating peace."<--wow!
Awesome Poem! xo
"I radiate destruction, involuntarily drawing
out my dagger with every movement,
mutilating peace."<--wow!
Awesome Poem! xo
1
Re: Ripple
Anonymous
15th May 2013 9:42pm
I especially like the three italicized stanzas! Superb poetry, Scribbler. Wonderfully inked & a pleasure to read! :)
Carlene
Carlene
1
re: Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 6:21am
Re: Ripple
Anonymous
15th May 2013 9:42pm
That one is totally amazing! Scribbler.....
Just a superb scripted write, what a story, and what a mind!!!
Just a superb scripted write, what a story, and what a mind!!!
1
re: Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 6:22am
Re: Ripple
15th May 2013 9:55pm
amazing trip into your minds eye like a surgical detective woven with the Nero-sciences of alchemy!
1
re: Re: Ripple
Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 00:18am
I haven just started following you, and I have to say the way you write takes me on a journey. Love this:)
1
re: Re: Ripple
Re: Ripple
Anonymous
16th May 2013 6:18am
I thought the image is brutal and beautiful.
Maybe I'm wrong but I felt hunted.
Awesome read though:)
Maybe I'm wrong but I felt hunted.
Awesome read though:)
1
re: Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 6:24am
Your view of the poem is specific to you :)
But, yes, I was trying to create that feeling
of surrounding danger, accumulating in each
fingertip. Thank you, Chilli :)
But, yes, I was trying to create that feeling
of surrounding danger, accumulating in each
fingertip. Thank you, Chilli :)
Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 8:46am
A great achievement. Such a richness of words and images yet contained within a beautifully melodic flow.
1
Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 6:46pm
Re: Ripple
16th May 2013 7:00pm
re: Re: Ripple
Re: Ripple
19th May 2013 9:19am
re: Re: Ripple
19th May 2013 9:41am
Re: Ripple
20th May 2013 1:49am
Beautiful metaphors and personification. I really like the line about trees how you made them seem human.
I'm getting that the point of this is that all of our actions have immediate effects that are almost always chaotic consequences. That every thing people do upsets the peace and calm of a single moment and has an echo or "Ripple" effect.
At first I thought the italicized portions were quotes you took from somewhere else but I've searched and couldn't find them so I believe they are your own words. Either way they are wonderfully worded and props to to you.
Oh yeah, "bruising of light" I liked this is filled with killer imagery. Nice poem Scribbs
I'm getting that the point of this is that all of our actions have immediate effects that are almost always chaotic consequences. That every thing people do upsets the peace and calm of a single moment and has an echo or "Ripple" effect.
At first I thought the italicized portions were quotes you took from somewhere else but I've searched and couldn't find them so I believe they are your own words. Either way they are wonderfully worded and props to to you.
Oh yeah, "bruising of light" I liked this is filled with killer imagery. Nice poem Scribbs
1
re: Re: Ripple
20th May 2013 3:16pm
Thank you, Wolfman! You have a way of looking through
all the words and finding what i'm really trying to say :)
all the words and finding what i'm really trying to say :)
Re: Ripple
24th May 2013 3:20pm
"smoke lingers as an unwanted ghost"
that line could be an entire poem in itself,
and your last stanza
so frickin perfect,
you hit the nail right on the head
with that ending
which sometimes i find to be the hardest part.
=]
that line could be an entire poem in itself,
and your last stanza
so frickin perfect,
you hit the nail right on the head
with that ending
which sometimes i find to be the hardest part.
=]
1