deepundergroundpoetry.com
In the company of voices
"When did it all begin?"
They visited when the world stooped into a harsh stillness;
the wind was stripped of its whistle, tearing through treetops
without a whisper.
A sinner was released from his haven, can you feel the drums?
Mountains of percussion that fell as thrashing waves,
melting into tides of inhales and exhales.
I couldn't hear a sound.
They sounded bitter before they opened their mouths,
telling of death-defying eyes crouching in the dark.
I often hear sleeping beauties that hold their loss
of conscience in an iron grip, with all the pitiful
determination of a suicidal woman.
Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with
narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air.
There is only one thing, doctor, which I don't understand.
If this is the most company I've ever had,
why do I feel so lonely?
They visited when the world stooped into a harsh stillness;
the wind was stripped of its whistle, tearing through treetops
without a whisper.
A sinner was released from his haven, can you feel the drums?
Mountains of percussion that fell as thrashing waves,
melting into tides of inhales and exhales.
I couldn't hear a sound.
They sounded bitter before they opened their mouths,
telling of death-defying eyes crouching in the dark.
I often hear sleeping beauties that hold their loss
of conscience in an iron grip, with all the pitiful
determination of a suicidal woman.
Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with
narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air.
There is only one thing, doctor, which I don't understand.
If this is the most company I've ever had,
why do I feel so lonely?
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Re: In the company of voices
19th May 2013 6:30pm
"the wind was stripped of its whistle, tearing through treetops
without a whisper." <--Beautiful description....
So many voices speaking of nothing, a realization you're still alone! Wonderful Ink Scribbler! xoxo
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
19th May 2013 7:14pm
Re: In the company of voices
Wonderful words (especially noun-adjective combinations)and rhythm which still allows the contrast between the explosive action of the beginning of stanzas and the silence at the end.
I assumed that the theme is the writer in desperate isolation (or alienation) from a tumultuous world.
But I am thrown by a crucial typo (?) in the last line of the third stanza"a suicidal women". Is it " a suicidal woman" (referring to the "I")or "suicidal women"(referring the the sleeping beauties).Of course it may be your using women as singular collective noun.
I assumed that the theme is the writer in desperate isolation (or alienation) from a tumultuous world.
But I am thrown by a crucial typo (?) in the last line of the third stanza"a suicidal women". Is it " a suicidal woman" (referring to the "I")or "suicidal women"(referring the the sleeping beauties).Of course it may be your using women as singular collective noun.
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
19th May 2013 7:16pm
It was singular, a slip of a finger, I missed it when I read through *hangs head*.
Thank you for the correction, and the long comment :D
Thank you for the correction, and the long comment :D
Re: In the company of voices
19th May 2013 9:05pm
Love the last stanza... This was truly excellent, I had to read it twice...:)
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:02pm
Re: In the company of voices
Anonymous
19th May 2013 10:07pm
This one is very much a gothic tale, ghostly and a bit frantic...I like how you have build it up , almost asif the person has different personalities...and the last lines are also great.
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:06pm
Re: In the company of voices
19th May 2013 10:17pm
They sounded bitter before they opened their mouths,
telling of death-defying eyes crouching in the dark.
Cant imagine you ever lonely your 2 interesting!
telling of death-defying eyes crouching in the dark.
Cant imagine you ever lonely your 2 interesting!
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:10pm
What if the voices are the interesting ones,
and I just copy them? But am I the voices?
Or are the voices me? Hmmmmm..
Thank you for your comment, Mr Vortex :)
and I just copy them? But am I the voices?
Or are the voices me? Hmmmmm..
Thank you for your comment, Mr Vortex :)
Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 1:00am
An Amazing Write Dear Scribbler!!!
It took years before the voices became constructive for me, many were negative and fed the loneliness...A dark and sad emotive poem to be sure- but written in wit of Scribbler for sure!!!
It took years before the voices became constructive for me, many were negative and fed the loneliness...A dark and sad emotive poem to be sure- but written in wit of Scribbler for sure!!!
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:12pm
I try to befriend them, they tend to flit
from personality to personality effortlessly :)
Thank you for your comment, Soul!
from personality to personality effortlessly :)
Thank you for your comment, Soul!
Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 5:14am
It has a nice lyrical quality to it scribbs. The voices you describe remind me of a demons coaxing.
'Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air.'
I absolutely love that line, I can completely relate and envision it perfectly. awesome contemplative piece.
'Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air.'
I absolutely love that line, I can completely relate and envision it perfectly. awesome contemplative piece.
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:13pm
Re: In the company of voices
Anonymous
20th May 2013 6:07am
I feel " legally insane" in this crazy darkness.
Your descriptions are creative and looney... but I really enjoyed this.
p.s. again I apologize if I got the context wrong.
Your descriptions are creative and looney... but I really enjoyed this.
p.s. again I apologize if I got the context wrong.
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:14pm
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:46am
20th May 2013 3:49pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: In the company of voices
20th May 2013 3:57pm
Re: In the company of voices
Anonymous
21st May 2013 1:28am
Especially love the first stanza & this:
"Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air."
A profound & powerful write, Scribbler. Very relatable metaphors in this fine work. Well done! :)
Carlene
"Sometimes they mirror an eclipse of light with narrating sandpaper voices, grating against the air."
A profound & powerful write, Scribbler. Very relatable metaphors in this fine work. Well done! :)
Carlene
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
21st May 2013 6:28am
Re: In the company of voices
23rd May 2013 9:38pm
I always look forward to your words. You just have a way with them that so many (including myself) wish they had. Just perfect.
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
23rd May 2013 11:17pm
Re: In the company of voices
24th May 2013 3:16pm
the title defiantly got me on this one
but all the way around the board
this is insanely well written...
like damn
=].
but all the way around the board
this is insanely well written...
like damn
=].
1
re: Re: In the company of voices
24th May 2013 4:40pm
Re: In the company of voices
re: Re: In the company of voices
27th May 2013 6:54am
Re: In the company of voices
3rd Jun 2013 4:30pm
re: Re: In the company of voices
3rd Jun 2013 4:49pm