Fight

Can't you see me
standing right here
in front of you
with my pain so clear?
It's in my eyes
even though I smile.
Don't you realize
I've been hurt a while?
I'm sick and tired
of being ignored,
of always hoping
to even the score.
Wanting to come first
in your mind
but you won't even look me
in the eye.
You say that you're sorry
but is it really true?
Out of everyone
why must you
treat me this way
and make me feel like
I have to be okay
even when I'm not?
I hate our battles
and endless tears,
our constant quarrels
and unsaid fears.
I don't want to be
like this with you
or anybody
but especially not you.
I try to hold it back
and pretend it's all right
but what I lack
is not the want of a fight.
I wish I could scream
right in your face
even in a dream
to end this taste
of violence inside
I can't quite control
all in my mind
ready to explode.
I want to be nice
but maybe I shouldn't.
I wish to just fight
but I know we wouldn't.
I know it's not right
for me to feel this way
but if there's a fight
I'll say what I gotta say.....