"My Sorrow"

fucked up feelings -is whut i'm expeirencing-i'm so angry with myself i want to die-i wanna be away from civilization i don't want anyone to see me cry-i feel noone cares,noone loves me-i feel everyone is out to hurt me or fucking use me-why is the question i ask god why-why was i brought into this world of pain-pain and death it's making me soooo insane-does anyone out there-fucking care-i'm living in this world of shit-i sometimes want to slit both my wrists-i'm not sure if my family even exists-they don't contact me often,it's a real bitch-what is the purpose of life-your born,ya get married,grow old and die what a fucking life-everyone i know still has a mama-what do i have,i have nothing but drama-i go visit my moms grave-fall to my knees as i start to cry i cover my face and realize i need to shave-i talk aloud to moms headstone-when i'm there i don't feel alone-i know mom is with me and my brother all the time-i just wish time i could rewind-to that tragic day and wish i was with mom-and wish that car would hit and kill me so bobby could have his mom-i don't recall-much from my childhood-not much at all-just dad sayin' i was no good-i guess that's why mama left him-i don't even remember him-he was not around when me and bobby were growing up-i just felt dad didn't give a fuck-but he did and does-he just doesn't show any emotions or love-that's because his mom and dad didn't show affection toward him or his brothers or sisters-life is just swollen up like a blister-i don't fault dad,i fault this earth the hell it brings-it's full of hatred and other psychotic things-when will the pain end-when,i just know at birth it begins-life is one big mistake-one big sin-that's what i hate-and i want it all to end-just go away and stay away-not for awhile but for eternity-till the end of time and noone can see-i am blind in my sin-i repent my sin,then i go out and do it again and again-is there anyone to comfort me,tell me everythings gonna get better-or should i go ahead and write my suicide letter-who,what,when,where-everyone loves to stare and glare at me-i know i'm so damn ugly-i wasn't alwayz overweight,i was once thin-that was back when i was age 10-then after mom died and i moved to live with my biological father-who never called never did bother-to call or write until after jan. 14,1985-my life then started to take a nose dive-i ate and ate just to escape the pain that became cause of mamas fate-now i'm just a fat dumb dead fuck-35 years old waitin' for my end for my bad luck-god what is to become of me-what is my fate what is my destiny-what will become of my life mentally-i guess i'll just have to wait in line just like everybody else-i guess what am i to do,what else-i get discouraged when i think of how many jobs i've had-over 60 now and that is so fucking pathetic so fucking bad-when i run out of jobs to go to-what is a fat fuck like myself supposed to do-i am so damn depressed so sad so tired-so lazy,i'm so fucking lazy my boss is going to soon say "larry your fired"-i won't say anything i'll just walk away with my head down-go buy a bottle of liquor and drown myself in my pity my shitty life-i still can't believe i was married i once had a wife-i just don't know how much longer i'll be the way i be-maybe that's the reason i can't have any babies-i just wish my anxiety would consume me-take me back to the d.i.r.t or my g.r.a.v.e-many people already think i'm destined for hell-probably,maybe,i don't know,could be,oh well-life will go on after i'm deceased-and people will forget all about me-that's just the way this life is it's a bunch of shit it's all crap all nothing-can't anybody see or hear whut i'm saying-no,your all deaf and dumb to what i say-cause i'm the one who is fucking crazay-i think of my teenage years-that's when i had few peers-i remember when i first masturbated,i remember when i first ejaculated,i remember when i was first constipated-i've had a dramatic and traumatic life-i use to cut girls names in my arms with a butcher knife-i remember my crushes-my obsessions i had with girls in school-but i was the fat fuck the victim the fool-nothing to gain but hardships-nothing for larry but dog shits-nothing to say just lifes a bitch-i wish things could get better but i know they only get worse-i am under a loser spell someone put me under a death curse-all i come in contact with become sick or die-all i can do is be dammned and sit in a 4 wall room and cry-crying myself to sleep cry myself to die cry myself till i'm so fucking high-meanwhile i'm just gonna go on with this fucked up world until my untimely death-until i take my last breath!!!!!!!!