deepundergroundpoetry.com
< affirmation >
[font=Courier New]
[/font] old wooden toolbox
made by my grandfather
fourth drawer down
his old pistol
sleeps in it's manger
of folded red oil-cloth
immaculate
steel
blue
lean
cool
loaded
i place it on the table
there it is...
who should i take with me?
who should i save the planet from?
when can i do this?
any time i want
very comforting
perks me right up
- - -
[/font][/font][/font]
[/font] old wooden toolbox
made by my grandfather
fourth drawer down
his old pistol
sleeps in it's manger
of folded red oil-cloth
immaculate
steel
blue
lean
cool
loaded
i place it on the table
there it is...
who should i take with me?
who should i save the planet from?
when can i do this?
any time i want
very comforting
perks me right up
- - -
[/font][/font][/font]
Published 24th Oct 2010
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likes 3
reading list entries 2
comments 10
reads 1356
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
24th Oct 2010 2:30pm
Is that a picture of the actual gun described in this poem? I love the deceptive simplicity of your work. You never become too florid or baroque, you just tell your story and leave, and let us mull over the ramifications.
25th Oct 2010 6:36am
"Is that a picture of the actual gun described in this poem?"
----- It's a Smith & Wesson Model 10 Police Revolver identical to my granddad's.
I have pictures of the real one, but it's hard to get the pure white background
necessary for blending with the DU page without using IrfanView or Paint.net
(both great free programs). So, being lazy, I just found one on the web.
----- It's a Smith & Wesson Model 10 Police Revolver identical to my granddad's.
I have pictures of the real one, but it's hard to get the pure white background
necessary for blending with the DU page without using IrfanView or Paint.net
(both great free programs). So, being lazy, I just found one on the web.
24th Oct 2010 5:23pm
I agree with Jack; I admire that about your work too. It's so candid and unaffected- refreshingly so. When I read your poems, I always re-read a couple of times, cause I never fail to get the impression that something important is working under those words.
25th Oct 2010 6:37am
"...always re-read a couple of times..."
----- Bless you! (Do yours that way too.)
i love your imagery in the beginning, it gives such a personal, heartwarming start to the poem. so quietly psycho. we know these are psychotic thoughts but only in theory since it's so perfectly normal reading this. that's supposed to be a given, i know, but i love the way you put it:
"very comforting
perks me right up"
there's your affirmation.
haha, yes, yours always require at least a double read. [:
"very comforting
perks me right up"
there's your affirmation.
haha, yes, yours always require at least a double read. [:
11th Apr 2011 3:56am
14th Feb 2011 00:44am
...that got to me. A damn fine poem. A very seductive poem. Spare, exquisite, yes. But I also think you've captured and presented the symbology in a whole new way. In fact, I dreamt about it last night, and it is rare for a piece of work to do that to me. I think I'll save this one as well...
11th Apr 2011 4:00am
to appear in a dream! flattered. the only thing better, i guess, is to cause PTSD.
(the goal of every writer, twisted souls that we are)
(the goal of every writer, twisted souls that we are)
1st Apr 2011 7:59pm
i really liked the contrast of the detail of focusing on the gun, and then the endless possibilities of what it could become.
11th Apr 2011 4:01am
