Misery Fetish(co write with ElrondSirfalas)

I used to be normal, never asking why
We used to sit and stare at the awe-filled sky
Then came a mistress and I was her toy
But she just traded me in like an unwanted ploy
It first I was fine ,Then I started to break
When the dirt felt cool to the touch
Is this what I love? Or is it just lust?
I sit and gaze wondering if I'll remain
All the while losing her faith...

....Another awe-filled sky that I will surely miss
With my sight fixed on dirt and the end of my bliss
I recount the hours of one gleaming stare
She had foreseen my fate of imminent despair
call it woman's tuition or her knowledge of mind
Or did she merely glance upon my human design?

I never once thought that I was sending such signals
Am I really as bland as the blind man's tribunal?
I'm either dying for love, or Loathing to Live
Deprived of the comfort that only a mistress could give

Colorless smoke as one would see fit
The stomach of guilt becomes ever so thick
A smile subsides, so why question it?
This desolation of will being laid brick by Brick
Like an innocent child that knew nothing of fear
Painting masks on souls which I once held so dear