deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hourglass Tap
I can't fall asleep
to the sound of a dripping faucet
leaking the life's blood of Earth
into my bathroom sink-
drip by drip
I hear droplet lives
slipping down the drain
with every hour
every minute
every drip
of the faucet.
to the sound of a dripping faucet
leaking the life's blood of Earth
into my bathroom sink-
drip by drip
I hear droplet lives
slipping down the drain
with every hour
every minute
every drip
of the faucet.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 14
reads 949
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
<3
15th Oct 2010 5:58pm
you made a simple thing such as the dripping of the faucet in your bathroom sounds so dramatic and melancholic.. it is nicely written! i like it :)
0
re: <3
thanks, darlin'! i was very, very sleepy at the time i wrote it, but i thought it came out okay. now i'm off to read your new one. [:
*edit*
i've just realized that this would work very well as a joke..."droplet lives" actually brings me ridiculous images this morning! okay, so now i'm claiming it's a joke write like ray's "aliens raped my dog". [:
*edit*
i've just realized that this would work very well as a joke..."droplet lives" actually brings me ridiculous images this morning! okay, so now i'm claiming it's a joke write like ray's "aliens raped my dog". [:
re: re: <3
25th Oct 2010 12:25pm
Either way! This is a great microscope you've pointed. This sound has before invaded my mind when I'm trying to sleep and all one hears in that damned incessant tapping!! AARRRGGHH! Yeah the drum beat that drives one sleepless. Oh and by the way, I really liked it. :)
1
re: re: <3
18th Dec 2012 10:34pm
"droplet lives" - perhaps it's the Living Water spoken of in the New Testament (joke)!
0
You're it J...,
19th Oct 2010 7:13pm
re: You're it J...,
ah, thank you, thank you, you're too kind. seriously, you guys are going to over-inflate my head for all this scribbling is worth. haha [:
Well Done!!!
25th Oct 2010 10:35am
Your script overhere is like a magnifying lens and you have described a simple thing with meticulous detail. I have enjoyed the line,"leaking the life's blood of Earth". Indeed such a masterly definition.
0
re: Well Done!!!
27th Oct 2010 1:18pm
thank you so much! i could only think of time's ticking life away, and how many people were fading at those very seconds. now it's sort of funny to me, the way i described it, but i appreciate your reads and support! [:
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Jan 2019 8:46am
27th Nov 2010 12:46pm
<< post removed >>
re: The last bit
28th Nov 2010 9:29am
i'm touched that you could see the original sense i was going for. thank you for commenting, i'm enjoying catching up on your work. [:
Drip Drip
27th Nov 2010 6:28pm
re: Drip Drip
28th Nov 2010 9:48am
ah, yes, i sincerely hope i never, ever have to deal with insomnia! i'm happy you could find something in it you can relate to. that's a compliment in itself. [: