I wish You Could See Me Now

When I think back on
the nights I spent curled up on
the floor in a corner so
desperate for someone to listen,
I burn with rage because
here I am curled up on
the floor in my room so
desperate for someone to listen
to the shit I'm going through like they did.

When I look back at
the reasons I had
to regret
the things I'd "done to myself,"
I taste bitterness as I realize
I now have reasons
to regret
the real things I'd done to myself
in order to cope with the regret I had.

When I look back to
the many bits of
shameful things that I thought
would eat away at my soul,
It makes me want to cry
at the many bits of
shameful memories and thoughts
eating away at my soul and
torturing me with the knowledge of who I was.