Reflections on a Stormy Evening

The emotions within me were forming grey clouds. The excitement of a good result was overshadowed by the clouds of despair and loneliness. Perhaps the Almighty God could fathom the feelings of my heart; He sent a storm accompanied by thunder and rain after the bright, calm and sultry afternoon. The weather reflected the conflicts inside me, it seemed to destroy everything that came in the way like the boisterous storm.

Sitting by the river side and watching the rain drops fall on the river, all I could do was to reflect on my life.The rain drops falling on the water created depression due to its impact of the fall. The depression did not last long as the ever flowing water of the river soon filled it up. Does the same happen in our life? The depressions and loneliness caused when someone most dear to us parts forever, is it filled up with joy with the passing of time and with the entrance of new peoples in our lives??

      Everyone was happy with my High School examination result but I wasn't. It is because I missed my mother, who would have been the happiest. Suddenly everything around me turned dark, thunders roared as if expressing their annoyance and grievance.I found myself twelve years back,when I was a kid.I was lying in her soft and peaceful lap;she was caressing me. She had only one thing to say- "Be a good human being and rise to the top." A thunder clapped and broke my illusion. Tears rolled down after several years,went unnoticed, washed away by the falling rain.
Again, I traveled down the memory lane, to that time, which was the last day for my mother. She was sick yet did not fail to care for me, did not fail to feed me. It was ten o'clock at night, when her condition worsened and she was taken to the doctor. Before going she asked me to "take care". Perhaps she knew that her end had approached. She did not return alive. I was dumbstruck, could not cry! I just felt myself in a state of dilemma not knowing what to do. I could not believe my father when he pulled me away from her and said "She's Gone". 'Gone Where??', I questioned. He wouldn't reply.

She was taken for her funeral and I performed the rituals just like a stone.I simply took orders and performed them.After the rituals she was carried up the stairs to be reduced to ashes. I turned my face away.My father consoled me "Look at her for the last time;you will never see her again."I could not stop my tears thereafter.

A thunder again interrupted me. I began to philosophize on life. "Time is the best healer" is what people say. I disagree. Time only makes us oblivious, it does not heal. It just locks up all the wounds which can burst out in the form of a volcano,anytime. No depression and loneliness can be filled up by someone new.All they can do, is insulate us of our wounds for sometime. But the wounds that are within us break all boundaries,overcome all pressures and come out destroying everything that comes in its way, making a path for something new to be begun- just like the storm,the thunder and flashes of lightning.