Bleeding

Why is it?
That I'm doing this to me?
Scaring myself;
cause i'm so lonely.
It's my escape;
my ticket to my world.
And all the pain;
It's what I deserve.
Now i feel so left out.
Now i feel the need to scream out.
Now I am filled with doubt.
Now i need to calm down.
This is why all this time I've been hoping,
Hoping i'll drop dead and die, all this time,
what you meant to me was nothing compared
to what you sent to me.
And all this time I've been broken but damn,
I sure can hide things with a smile.
At least for a while.
What is this?
Your blood on my fists.
The scars on my wrists.
I Hate that your who I miss.
Ignorance, they say it's bliss.
I say it's in denial;
can't be happy ignoring the vial of blood I spilled.
You know I kill.
Where am I?
This time around?
Am I willing to?
Just shoot me now.
All this time;
you lied to me.
Is this really?
what you wanted us to be?
*I'm drowning now! In my own tears! The memories! Won't dissapear!*
Are you sorry?
Say you're sorry!
Dear god forgive me--
Dear god get rid of me.
All my scars on my skin. Give it a moment. To sink in.
You were the best i ever had.
Trust me; i am so glad.
But now i blew it.
It's over now.
Now i wake up alone;
with a bleeding frown.