Submissions by clewluss (SMOOKY)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Poet? Whats a poet?
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
25th Apr 2022 7:46pm
25th Apr 2022 7:46pm
brideprice
Well I have been trying for a good while on here
and at other online venues, to find a solemate
but it hasn't happened so I pulled out the stops, jumped out of the plane
and pulled the parachute cord
and here I am.
I found the bride of my dreams on BRIDEPRICE.COM and
bargained her down from $3000 plus $300 for packaging. to $1950 total.
Well, it wasn't actually the total, there still was finding a freight company
to ship her to me but I had done shipping
a couple times before so I went ahead and hit "accept offer"
So great,...
and at other online venues, to find a solemate
but it hasn't happened so I pulled out the stops, jumped out of the plane
and pulled the parachute cord
and here I am.
I found the bride of my dreams on BRIDEPRICE.COM and
bargained her down from $3000 plus $300 for packaging. to $1950 total.
Well, it wasn't actually the total, there still was finding a freight company
to ship her to me but I had done shipping
a couple times before so I went ahead and hit "accept offer"
So great,...
#lover
248 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2022 3:52pm
17th Feb 2022 3:52pm
I am the chinese beer hottie of missed oppurtunity
Remorseless, I graze the indigenous grass blades
Angel's wings carry me to tell tall tales
oh I can rest with the other men with their swords
I am alert to hunt the sasquatch with stealth
babies on candy forums my mind iceberg
I am fraught with reason
Elephant's toes step
higher than clouds and
back down they soar
sleeping with the eagles
When can I touch you again
Angel's wings carry me to tell tall tales
oh I can rest with the other men with their swords
I am alert to hunt the sasquatch with stealth
babies on candy forums my mind iceberg
I am fraught with reason
Elephant's toes step
higher than clouds and
back down they soar
sleeping with the eagles
When can I touch you again
#monsters
260 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Jun 2021 6:52am
2nd Jun 2021 6:52am
Job offer
Jane puts in a hard day's work.
Jane got trained by Brianna
who thought it slick
to also train Jane to
Do Brianna's job as well.
Jane was doing her job and Briannas when Briana moved on to a highly paid position.
Janes boss, Keesha,
hired a sexy Polish lady that
Could do no work. Dilliah',
who flirted and winked at Keesha all day,
but Dilliah could hardly write a legible email,
let alone put the arriving mail in alphabetical order.
Jane was...
Jane got trained by Brianna
who thought it slick
to also train Jane to
Do Brianna's job as well.
Jane was doing her job and Briannas when Briana moved on to a highly paid position.
Janes boss, Keesha,
hired a sexy Polish lady that
Could do no work. Dilliah',
who flirted and winked at Keesha all day,
but Dilliah could hardly write a legible email,
let alone put the arriving mail in alphabetical order.
Jane was...
#escape
311 reads
2 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
11th Feb 2021 6:57pm
11th Feb 2021 6:57pm
Solving the Monty Hall puzzler (Pt. 1)
The Monty Hall puzzle, was a
big matter of discussion,
way back in the 1970's,
even PjDs in mathematics made staunch,
but incorrect solutions about it.
The problem was finally proved by
programming a computer
(thank heavens for computers)
to simulate the game.
Finally the community at large
decided that the
Monty Hall puzzler
had been solved.
On Monty Hall's game show,
there are three doors.
Behind two doors are goats,
which nobody in the world could love.
(except a few animal lovers, but...
big matter of discussion,
way back in the 1970's,
even PjDs in mathematics made staunch,
but incorrect solutions about it.
The problem was finally proved by
programming a computer
(thank heavens for computers)
to simulate the game.
Finally the community at large
decided that the
Monty Hall puzzler
had been solved.
On Monty Hall's game show,
there are three doors.
Behind two doors are goats,
which nobody in the world could love.
(except a few animal lovers, but...
#earth
#fire
#water
362 reads
0 Comments
FICTIONAL PROSE
Published
8th Feb 2021 7:01pm
8th Feb 2021 7:01pm
Quaint Randy Sultan
Austrian beer
communal drunkenness
fondled guests keeping
laughs muzzled, nibbling,
openly pleasured
quaint randy sultan
teases, unwraps
virginity's Xanadu,
youth's zest
communal drunkenness
fondled guests keeping
laughs muzzled, nibbling,
openly pleasured
quaint randy sultan
teases, unwraps
virginity's Xanadu,
youth's zest
#lover
414 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
8th Sep 2020 7:55pm
8th Sep 2020 7:55pm
Zagmosh grebkada
When your girlfriends
name is Zagmosh,
you have NO problemo finding her
using the internet.
Far better for the rollercoaster
ride of my heart
if I had dated Jenny Johnson
The long days of summer
pined me to call her up
after twenty years
She did not pick up,
"This is your old friend Greg from Germantown
and I just thought I would call to say hello"
Moments later
my phone rang
and she was calling me back
with a flood of "Oh my Gosh"
What twenty years
did to our...
name is Zagmosh,
you have NO problemo finding her
using the internet.
Far better for the rollercoaster
ride of my heart
if I had dated Jenny Johnson
The long days of summer
pined me to call her up
after twenty years
She did not pick up,
"This is your old friend Greg from Germantown
and I just thought I would call to say hello"
Moments later
my phone rang
and she was calling me back
with a flood of "Oh my Gosh"
What twenty years
did to our...
#lover
396 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
26th Aug 2020 2:53pm
26th Aug 2020 2:53pm
Across All Accounts
I chase after the impossible burger
who gives me the time of day,
Then doesn't
I come to appreciate
The one who dotes
on me
who gives me the time of day,
Then doesn't
I come to appreciate
The one who dotes
on me
#lover
422 reads
3 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
20th Jan 2020 5:20pm
20th Jan 2020 5:20pm
Rosco Poetry LLC.
Rosco Poetry was offering 30 percent off
their custom poem service
plus a free short poem with twist,
I went for it.
My poem arrived in three days
In a plain brown box.
The poem had the gist
Of what I had asked for
but
The geo/historical setting
Was a bit of a surprise, as I had
requested a northern Irish setting.
I ended up with Eastern European.
Plus, some awkward events happened in the poem,
that I did not know why they were there,
as I had not requested them.
I went ahead and posted my...
their custom poem service
plus a free short poem with twist,
I went for it.
My poem arrived in three days
In a plain brown box.
The poem had the gist
Of what I had asked for
but
The geo/historical setting
Was a bit of a surprise, as I had
requested a northern Irish setting.
I ended up with Eastern European.
Plus, some awkward events happened in the poem,
that I did not know why they were there,
as I had not requested them.
I went ahead and posted my...
#lover
467 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
7th Aug 2019 8:39pm
7th Aug 2019 8:39pm
bot fly brouhaha
Bot fly: " I am tired of fighting other flies over dead meat"
Momma bot fly: " and my poor maggot dearlings, just left to crawl around"
Well, honey,
after some thoughtful deliberations, I have come up with a plan.
Oh, Dear, Please tell, PLEASE!
Well, what we are going to do, is, well, we will evolve,
so that our baby maggot larvae crawl out of you
when they are really small, I mean,
under the microscope small.
Why dear, why do I have to let them crawl out when they are so tiny?
Well, they are going to have to...
Momma bot fly: " and my poor maggot dearlings, just left to crawl around"
Well, honey,
after some thoughtful deliberations, I have come up with a plan.
Oh, Dear, Please tell, PLEASE!
Well, what we are going to do, is, well, we will evolve,
so that our baby maggot larvae crawl out of you
when they are really small, I mean,
under the microscope small.
Why dear, why do I have to let them crawl out when they are so tiny?
Well, they are going to have to...
#love
439 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
15th Apr 2018 6:38am
15th Apr 2018 6:38am
letter to a younger me
dear young lad,
writing to you is you,
the you fourty years into the future
i just wanted to...
WHO'S THERE
i wanted to...
WHO IS TALKING TO ME
oh hi, i am you from the future.
WHERE ARE YOU
i , im just , hi, i am you, i just wanted..
WHO IS MY GIRLFRIEND IF YOU ARE ME?
oh, how old are you. because when i was..
I'M 15
oh, well let me remember...
yes, that was a sad affair yes Jodi, she
would...
HOW DO YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY...
no and mom and dad took me away to their summer house and when i git...
writing to you is you,
the you fourty years into the future
i just wanted to...
WHO'S THERE
i wanted to...
WHO IS TALKING TO ME
oh hi, i am you from the future.
WHERE ARE YOU
i , im just , hi, i am you, i just wanted..
WHO IS MY GIRLFRIEND IF YOU ARE ME?
oh, how old are you. because when i was..
I'M 15
oh, well let me remember...
yes, that was a sad affair yes Jodi, she
would...
HOW DO YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY...
no and mom and dad took me away to their summer house and when i git...
#boyfriend
#girlfriend
711 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
13th Apr 2018 2:39pm
13th Apr 2018 2:39pm
bogus nitingales
Hi steverino,
I see I caught you in the middle of a daydream nap
No, don't wake up for this dream
it is only a dream
the names and faces have been changed
to protect your youthful innocence
I'd be up against the high court of spirits
if I let you know who I really am
I am just a scary boogie man
so lets leave it at that, and keep on
So I've got a little problem with you
masturbating so much
I mean oncet in a while is OK
but this is getting out of hand
I mean Porn hasn't even made it on the
scene ,...
I see I caught you in the middle of a daydream nap
No, don't wake up for this dream
it is only a dream
the names and faces have been changed
to protect your youthful innocence
I'd be up against the high court of spirits
if I let you know who I really am
I am just a scary boogie man
so lets leave it at that, and keep on
So I've got a little problem with you
masturbating so much
I mean oncet in a while is OK
but this is getting out of hand
I mean Porn hasn't even made it on the
scene ,...
#breakup
622 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
12th Apr 2018 00:28am
12th Apr 2018 00:28am
regrets
Stay asleep little Jason
this is Jason. i am 60
Yeah you actually live that long
so i have this strange
crack in the universe fabric
it is letting me meet you
in a dream
you know kid,
it all turns out allright
you are going to make crucial
collosal mistakes with the ladies
like you are going to be
sleeping next to this
love of your life
she will be snoring away...
hey... im sorry but
i cant tell you what to do
i dont think it would change much,
you were...
this is Jason. i am 60
Yeah you actually live that long
so i have this strange
crack in the universe fabric
it is letting me meet you
in a dream
you know kid,
it all turns out allright
you are going to make crucial
collosal mistakes with the ladies
like you are going to be
sleeping next to this
love of your life
she will be snoring away...
hey... im sorry but
i cant tell you what to do
i dont think it would change much,
you were...
#mythology
767 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by clewluss (SMOOKY)
