deepundergroundpoetry.com

Zagmosh grebkada

When your girlfriends
name is Zagmosh,
you have NO problemo finding her
 using the internet.

Far better for the rollercoaster
ride of my heart
if I had dated Jenny Johnson

The long days of summer
pined me to call her up
after twenty years

She did not pick up,
"This is your old friend Greg from Germantown
and I just thought I would call to say hello"


Moments later
my phone rang
and she was calling me back
with a flood of "Oh my Gosh"

What twenty years
did to our  memory,
what she remembered of me
 I found peculiar to recall

What memories I shared of her
Made her cut the call short

That car I gave her,
a Saab
she told me how,
how she crashed it into a snowbank
after I had left abruptly that night

twenty some years back.

It was a honeymoon for us
the one we never had
smitten with the spell of love
I was willing to give up everything
to get back together

Or so I thought

I was ready to give up
nothing whatsoever

reality gently knocked on my skull
When she felt the first hint
that I wanted to 'see' her
she became quite defiant,
Hostile
expressly stated she was not
in the market for that

A week went by
I called and left
a goodbye message,
'have a good year'

In a minute
she called back,  scheduled
a call with me
the next day.

Funny how emotions roil,
I was quite put off
to wait for this call
dreaded it,
hoped it was not really gonna happen
Hoping it was all just a flippant, ttyl
but no such luck,
the call came in
Sweet and vulnerable
at Nine in the morning
telling how  she enjoys long walks
reading five chapters a day of the bible
Me:
'yes', 'uh hun'
my conversation was dead.
A wooden indian
I could not engage
we hung up.
I could not return the intimacy.

It was all a dream
Calling back a couple days later
my call immediately went to message

Calling her after leaving her
twenty years ago
After we decided to break up
and marry other people,
Me an old friend,
Her, an arranged marriage
from her home country
we was like a hot fire

I, (we? I am only now slowly realizing other peoples feelings)
had a ten day phone honeymoon


Then I(we?) put the fire out
even though the resulting
 growing separation was pure agony
Written by clewluss (SMOOKY)
Published
Author's Note
Sometimes you get the itch to call up a long lost lover
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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