Submissions by PleasuresOfPain
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Pleasures of pain is the name and writing keeps me sane.
Off Grid
I grew up in the sticks,
So you know I’m not rich.
I’m proud to be a hick,
Put some dip up in my lip.
The country way is all I know,
I hunt with an arrow and bow.
On weekends I go out on my boat,
Without no motor so I got to row.
My trailer sits on a long dirt road,
On a few acres where weed is grown.
It’s home and it’s all I’ve ever known,
It’s country land and it's redneck owned.
I got an old lady and her name is Rita,
She cooks real good and she sure will feed ya.
It's here in these woods is where we...
So you know I’m not rich.
I’m proud to be a hick,
Put some dip up in my lip.
The country way is all I know,
I hunt with an arrow and bow.
On weekends I go out on my boat,
Without no motor so I got to row.
My trailer sits on a long dirt road,
On a few acres where weed is grown.
It’s home and it’s all I’ve ever known,
It’s country land and it's redneck owned.
I got an old lady and her name is Rita,
She cooks real good and she sure will feed ya.
It's here in these woods is where we...
#lyrics
382 reads
1 Comment
Hopeful
Sick and tired of living life,
It’s constant chaos every day.
Feeling like I’ve failed myself,
In life I think I’ve lost my way.
I’ve got a lot of regrets that I hold,
Some things are impossible to let go.
My past life was filled with mistakes,
My future’s doomed I already know.
I’ve tried to understand life’s meaning,
Like why do we all live just to die away?
A lifetime of happiness to me is demeaning
When your time comes does it help to pray?
So what are we to do other than just live,
No matter what...
It’s constant chaos every day.
Feeling like I’ve failed myself,
In life I think I’ve lost my way.
I’ve got a lot of regrets that I hold,
Some things are impossible to let go.
My past life was filled with mistakes,
My future’s doomed I already know.
I’ve tried to understand life’s meaning,
Like why do we all live just to die away?
A lifetime of happiness to me is demeaning
When your time comes does it help to pray?
So what are we to do other than just live,
No matter what...
#LifeCycle
346 reads
0 Comments
Mental Plagues
All alone to my worthless self,
It’s like my own personal hell.
A pitiful place where I reside,
Where the pain don’t subside.
Day in and day out I feel numb,
while waiting for the end to come
I sometimes cut my arms and legs,
the cuts cease all my mental plagues.
After awhile of slashing and slicing,
my wounds are intoxicatingly enticing.
I’m on the verge of losing consciousness,
I’ve lost too much and Im feeling nauseous.
My eye lids are heavy but I feel nothing, Adrenaline’s flooding my veins...
I feel my...
It’s like my own personal hell.
A pitiful place where I reside,
Where the pain don’t subside.
Day in and day out I feel numb,
while waiting for the end to come
I sometimes cut my arms and legs,
the cuts cease all my mental plagues.
After awhile of slashing and slicing,
my wounds are intoxicatingly enticing.
I’m on the verge of losing consciousness,
I’ve lost too much and Im feeling nauseous.
My eye lids are heavy but I feel nothing, Adrenaline’s flooding my veins...
I feel my...
#MentalHealth
597 reads
4 Comments
Jotted Memoir
I locked myself in my room again,
I’m so desperate to reach my end.
I’ve definitely lost the will and drive,
I just feel the need to end this life...
-POP
I’m so desperate to reach my end.
I’ve definitely lost the will and drive,
I just feel the need to end this life...
-POP
#depression
#death
#suicide
507 reads
Cut
I can't seem to hide my scars,
Because they're all on my arms.
Slashes and cuts written in skin,
Reminders of where I’ve been.
Inside my head's a chaotic scene,
So bad that I feel like I'm in a dream.
Terrified by what I'm feeling in every way
I just want to slice my arms like they were being filleted.
To end my life then and there and make sure I bleed out,
I used to cut to feel the pain but that’s not my motive now.
Because they're all on my arms.
Slashes and cuts written in skin,
Reminders of where I’ve been.
Inside my head's a chaotic scene,
So bad that I feel like I'm in a dream.
Terrified by what I'm feeling in every way
I just want to slice my arms like they were being filleted.
To end my life then and there and make sure I bleed out,
I used to cut to feel the pain but that’s not my motive now.
#suicide
660 reads
6 Comments
Flatlined
I slit my wrists,
Then I get high,
All I want is a fix
Right before I die
I press the plunger,
The world goes black
I’m slipping under
My body goes slack
My eyes roll upwards
As my heart pounds
I can't expel no words
In this place without sounds
On the floor I lay slumped,
Against a wall some place deep
My whole body feels all numb
Then I close my eyes..........
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Then I get high,
All I want is a fix
Right before I die
I press the plunger,
The world goes black
I’m slipping under
My body goes slack
My eyes roll upwards
As my heart pounds
I can't expel no words
In this place without sounds
On the floor I lay slumped,
Against a wall some place deep
My whole body feels all numb
Then I close my eyes..........
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
#SelfHarm
530 reads
0 Comments
The Fallout
I've had enough of life,
And I can't change it now
Lost the will to continue on
I want to die but don't know how.
I feel sad one day and lost the next
Broken by failures and blinded by hurt
Everyone knows how hectic it gets
but honestly I no longer want to be on earth
When I'm alone my feelings change in mind
Where suicide makes sense for the first time
Crazy thoughts enter my head and I shut down
I stare at my wall and just listen to my heart pound
My world is the fallout
Destructive and chaotic
no one...
And I can't change it now
Lost the will to continue on
I want to die but don't know how.
I feel sad one day and lost the next
Broken by failures and blinded by hurt
Everyone knows how hectic it gets
but honestly I no longer want to be on earth
When I'm alone my feelings change in mind
Where suicide makes sense for the first time
Crazy thoughts enter my head and I shut down
I stare at my wall and just listen to my heart pound
My world is the fallout
Destructive and chaotic
no one...
#despair
575 reads
4 Comments
Nonexistent
I knew it would come to this,
It was just a matter of time.
Today I have one final wish,
To end the loneliness inside.
I feel unconnected to this life,
Like I'm living beside myself.
A lone shadow within the night,
An emptiness like nothing else.
There's only so much I can take,
I can't continue feeling this alone.
I feel as if I've been mentally raped,
Depression is what I've ever known.
I think about killing myself every day,
I've made a noose already in my room.
I'm preparing for the end with no dismay,...
It was just a matter of time.
Today I have one final wish,
To end the loneliness inside.
I feel unconnected to this life,
Like I'm living beside myself.
A lone shadow within the night,
An emptiness like nothing else.
There's only so much I can take,
I can't continue feeling this alone.
I feel as if I've been mentally raped,
Depression is what I've ever known.
I think about killing myself every day,
I've made a noose already in my room.
I'm preparing for the end with no dismay,...
#SelfDiscovery
774 reads
6 Comments
Close
I don't think that I could go on,
Without you here with me close.
You lift me up and make me strong,
That's what I love about you most.
I think about you for hours and hours,
Even when I'm asleep and dreaming.
You make me feel like time is all ours,
Your love is what gives my life meaning.
I can't seem to get you out of my head,
I want to love you forever and not let go.
Stay over and awaken to breakfast in bed,
I'll kiss you gently from you head to your toe .
You know that I love you more than life itself,
I...
Without you here with me close.
You lift me up and make me strong,
That's what I love about you most.
I think about you for hours and hours,
Even when I'm asleep and dreaming.
You make me feel like time is all ours,
Your love is what gives my life meaning.
I can't seem to get you out of my head,
I want to love you forever and not let go.
Stay over and awaken to breakfast in bed,
I'll kiss you gently from you head to your toe .
You know that I love you more than life itself,
I...
781 reads
5 Comments
After The Fact
I've been abused for many years.
Assualted,ridiculed,and neglected.
So bad that it brought me to tears,
Now I feel alone,sad,and rejected.
I feel ashamed for the person I am,
my emotions surround me with hate.
Nobody seems to fully understand,
My dad says I'm his worst mistake.
When I'm alone I like to cut my arm,
I like the pain that I feel after the fact.
It's the pleasures of self inflicted harm,
It fills the voids with what I've lacked.
At school I'm bullied and people laugh,
I'm humilated and shamed in...
Assualted,ridiculed,and neglected.
So bad that it brought me to tears,
Now I feel alone,sad,and rejected.
I feel ashamed for the person I am,
my emotions surround me with hate.
Nobody seems to fully understand,
My dad says I'm his worst mistake.
When I'm alone I like to cut my arm,
I like the pain that I feel after the fact.
It's the pleasures of self inflicted harm,
It fills the voids with what I've lacked.
At school I'm bullied and people laugh,
I'm humilated and shamed in...
924 reads
5 Comments
Plots & Plans
Everyday I have one thought in mind,
It's the thought that I want to die.
I'm depressed,alone,and out of sync,
I get so upset I begin to plot and think.
Would I be a coward if I took my life?
Even if life itself didn't feel quite right?
I just don't understand why I'm this way,
From hour to minute,every night and day.
I see my shrink but he really doesn't care,
He sits in his chair taking notes as I share,
All the shit that's been consuming me inside,
Except the plots I keep of my own suicide.
I write this poem at...
It's the thought that I want to die.
I'm depressed,alone,and out of sync,
I get so upset I begin to plot and think.
Would I be a coward if I took my life?
Even if life itself didn't feel quite right?
I just don't understand why I'm this way,
From hour to minute,every night and day.
I see my shrink but he really doesn't care,
He sits in his chair taking notes as I share,
All the shit that's been consuming me inside,
Except the plots I keep of my own suicide.
I write this poem at...
706 reads
1 Comment
Beat up
743 reads
5 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by PleasuresOfPain