anger and frustration

After writing one of my latest poems I decided to make this challenge.

I want a write that shows your anger and frustrations, whatever they might be. Be as raw and uncensored as you like.

Old or new and how many you want.

Good luck!

No Hiding

such an existence is this
screaming mutely
into the pillow
tears soaking the sheets
fists gripping tightly
bleeding crescents
in the palms
anger
hurt
fear
fighting for dominance
in a world
completely upside down

pardon me
but I must say it
fuck it!
I’m stronger than this
no one steals my voice
least of all a faceless stranger
lurking in the shadows
childishly shouting foolish lies
willfully ignoring
the truth before their eyes
I have done nothing
and I refuse to hide!

for all you fresh sweetheart wannabes

you ain't the first
whiney
weepy
bleaty emo
eggshell ego
kiddee
to write out
your personal version
of fret-arama
and stick it in my face
after a busted heart or three

not the first
to grovel in here
on yer knees
wailing
every day's a monday
he left me
she left me
they left me
without realizing
no-one gives
a thumbnail sized shit
why or how
your entire world
came crumbling down
for good
...doh

and you ain't the first
cutter in the gutter
to wake up in a bed
all white tunnel religious
preaching back from the dead
outta intensive care
screaming god bless life
every time one of  your
plump little pinkys
winks and twitches
over your keyboard

not the first
acne ridden frazzle cake joker
thought weed for wings
was the key to discovering
man powered flight
or the premier no brain asshole
couldn't get a vein up
jacked through his tongue
suffocated lungs
and feigned surprise
when they made a hole
in his throat to breathe

you ain't the first
to think black
is the one true color
looks cool on it's own
or that blood
and sniffing at entrails is scary
you should try
hi fives with the devil
while he squats on your shoulder
sucking human vodka
from your titty
and asks do you wanna
break a wishbone

as far as I know
not one of you
invented the word pussy
brought down governments
or changed the world yet
so please
don't fucking shout
with your caps lock on
give the spell checker
its chance to roll
and then we'll all get by
just fine

The Other Side of Bitch

You think with your dick    
like you're in a competition    
to be a dirty old man    
I'm fed up with being fucked    
the same way you swig a beer    
   
I faked all those orgasms    
every damn one    
sat through boring football games    
wiped your dirty mess    
from my favorite dress    
when you pleaded for a quickie    
in the car    
   
I gave you my best years    
to put up with your drunken
insane mother    
and when she dies    
I'm gonna dance on her grave    
and sing    
You're a taker who never gives    
you've turned me into a machine    
that cooks and cleans and    
cooks and cleans    
I'm a slave to your whole filthy    
brood    
   
Normal people
take vacation every year    
but not us    
It's so long since we took a break    
no wonder I screwed the mailman last week    
and your revolting brother    
who else would put up with
a boring jerk like you    
   
You can buy a new bed    
and throw out that fleabag couch    
because from now on    
you're sleeping permanently
downstairs--    
If you were a woman    
you'd be the world's worst    
bitch

Unrelenting

You draw my lovely black curtains to one side
Squinting and grimacing from daylight i hide
The birds are singing in the most horrid way
The sun it shines brightly it's a god awful day

Point me to the people all smiling and happy
Do you want me to feel even more crappy?
Look fleecy white clouds oh how perverse
Silently gliding around like some hearse

Your appalling gayness is ruining my will
Your sweet perfume like a rotting roadkill
You tell me you love me i'll get you for that
You're stupid you're nice you're ugly and fat

Hah that woman fell over isn't that funny
For the love of devil stop calling me honey
Go on hate me i will hate you right back
Be a dear now and have a heart attack

Your evil fingers they run through my hair
That wasn't a sigh you don't play fair
Now you've done it it's at your behest
Sobbing i bury my face in your breast

I'm fucking angry,
But I won't show it to you,
I'll store it deep below,
Just Like the crazies do.
Because I want to kill,
I want to rip things apart,
I want to splatter all the tattered
shards of shattered hearts.

I want oblivion,
I want to numb this pain,
this clarity that so clearly,
keeps me insane.
But on the outside,
I'll always look Happy,
How else could I keep you all from prying at me?
Cause on the inside,
There's more than mortal pain,
I feel that no other deserves this self disdain.

So let me be me,
In this facade of glee.
'Cause my soul begs for excuses to induce bleeding.
But I'm not all bad,
I just want to Love life.
As hard as at may be, It still deserves a try.

"I am Ashamed to be an American!"

It's not just that hatred is choking America to death
It's not just that sexual molestation has become acceptable
It's not just that Trump will be the next president
It's not just that Congress will be run by Republikills
It's not just that the Supreme Court will cremate freedom
It's not just that I will die without healthcare and medication
It's not just that I will starve without foodstamp assistance
It's not just that my rent has been raised but my income has not
It's not just that the cost of living has gone up and I can't afford it now
It's not just that pride is coveted by Christians when Jesus calls it a sin
It's not about what will become of me because I do not matter
It's that greed has won, pride has won and fear has frozen warm hearts
All of these things boggle my mind but the one thing I cannot understand
Is how anyone who was able, did not get off their ass to vote!
I hope there is a god to bring about a bloody end of days
because I don't want to be an American anymore
 

JJ

###

Rock the Boat

I hide it beneath a cloak of calm
this burning orb I do not want
gift from the hellish pits
delivered by a human fiend
violator of my sacred space
to be shared with whom I say
this ignored by the criminal
now walking free out in the world.

A normal face I show the world
what rage is stirred in my heart
with triggers borne by life’s whims
circumstance seen just by me
boundaries breached are always torn
disrespect becomes the norm
with wounds too deep for all to see
unless I choose to always scream.

The smile is there to ease their mind
while fury seethes in shared response
to fear’s cold fingers wrapped around
my voice kept mute by terror’s hand
of what you might think of me
disavowing veracity
callous denial cast by those
denying the monster in their fold.

Nothing to see, move along
before I erupt in anger’s craze
wishing the ax to find its mark
knowing that it will cleave my life
because punishment will fall too hard
on this victim and not the foe
when society seeks to keep the calm
affliction on those who rock the boat.

Great Puppeteer

while clearing the corners
of dust
and debris
I came across the shelf
that used to house me
it still held the outline
where my shadow
would be

do you remember
how long
I sat there
waiting for you
to take me
somewhere
off this shelf
out in fresh air

using your palette
to paint on my face
creating the image
in your display case
erasing
my features
a mask
in their place

opening my wardrobe
selecting my clothes
dressing me
propping me
from shoulder to toe
disguising my spirit
so none of it showed

when playtime was over
you'd leave me here
alone
on my shelf
while you'd disappear
the forgotten doll
of the Great Puppeteer

Promises Never Meant Shit!

Promises mean nothing, Yours were mere words meant to deceive and shame on me for believing you so effortlessly. Your eyes darting any where but to stare into mine should have been the warning sign that this was just a game you played and I just the hand being played at the moment.
I was stuck in the notion that you were what you claimed to be, that the ring on my finger meant everything, but the sheets and the bared asses that bedded many a men before you were your indulgence.
I naive, a fool to believe, attempting to make a house a home, but you haven't called in 3 days, haven't laid by my side in 2 nights and its hard to build something from nothing alone.
Yesterday is over. Honestly I believe this was the way you planned it to be, me waiting, you always gone, but the news flashes headlines today, I packed all my things, and I'm gone!
You can take back all the meaningless shit,
This ring, this house and empty promises.
Because you,
weren't it!

###