Poetry competition CLOSED 3rd July 2016 7:46pm
WINNER
brokentitanium (k.)
brokentitanium (k.)
RUNNER-UP:
dejure
SONNET SLAM 2 - Anything Goes
(a dark example of the traditional English sonnet form...)
HEP-ATITUS
(a sonnet…what else?)
A plague of fetid blood so I’ve become
Who vomits only bile and drywall dust
In horrid little squares whose added sum
Is so much sewer pipe and iron rust
A blood that has no purpose left to serve
But poison heart that nothing should remain
A black oil crust that’s shredding every nerve
Like shards of ground glass coursing through my brain
I wish that I could open veins and smear
Cute rounded flowers everywhere I see
But even then would square on square appear
My blood coagulates in squares of scree
To vomit bloody squares is all I can
Which takes me back to where my shit began
Author's Note: a fellow poet said I should meet the reader half- way on this one, so I shall. The title comes from a comment at the end of a competition referring to me - lovingly - as "hep-c" which is shorthand in the States for hepatitis-c - that's the really bad one - I ran with it. "blood" in the poem stands for my poetic voice, "squares" stand for stanzas of formulaic poetry (95% of what I write is formulaic), and "rounded flowers" stands for poetry written in free verse... I hope that helps...
HEP-ATITUS
(a sonnet…what else?)
A plague of fetid blood so I’ve become
Who vomits only bile and drywall dust
In horrid little squares whose added sum
Is so much sewer pipe and iron rust
A blood that has no purpose left to serve
But poison heart that nothing should remain
A black oil crust that’s shredding every nerve
Like shards of ground glass coursing through my brain
I wish that I could open veins and smear
Cute rounded flowers everywhere I see
But even then would square on square appear
My blood coagulates in squares of scree
To vomit bloody squares is all I can
Which takes me back to where my shit began
Author's Note: a fellow poet said I should meet the reader half- way on this one, so I shall. The title comes from a comment at the end of a competition referring to me - lovingly - as "hep-c" which is shorthand in the States for hepatitis-c - that's the really bad one - I ran with it. "blood" in the poem stands for my poetic voice, "squares" stand for stanzas of formulaic poetry (95% of what I write is formulaic), and "rounded flowers" stands for poetry written in free verse... I hope that helps...
Liebeslied
The nipple, shaped just like Erato's grape,
his lips devour, just as the notes escape
from sweet Kithara's long and silver strings,
to grace the air, shine forth their shimmerings.
The clear thin stream it trickled down her breast,
it glossed upon her molten skin, to rest
in that small valley just above the nest
where men submerge their wicked dreams to crest.
What sweetest limerence reveals, a plea
to their abiding need, to which her love’s
clear visage holds a mute, unbidden key,
to their surprise, to loose on winged doves.
In gilded memories they steeped their love,
their dreams ethereal as the moon above.
Note: This is my second attempt at a sonnet, with lessons hopefully learned from AlwaysHungry and his Can You Write a Sonnet? thread. I think there may be some glitches in the meter, and the rhyme scheme I know is not quite traditional.
I invite comments and suggestions.
The nipple, shaped just like Erato's grape,
his lips devour, just as the notes escape
from sweet Kithara's long and silver strings,
to grace the air, shine forth their shimmerings.
The clear thin stream it trickled down her breast,
it glossed upon her molten skin, to rest
in that small valley just above the nest
where men submerge their wicked dreams to crest.
What sweetest limerence reveals, a plea
to their abiding need, to which her love’s
clear visage holds a mute, unbidden key,
to their surprise, to loose on winged doves.
In gilded memories they steeped their love,
their dreams ethereal as the moon above.
Note: This is my second attempt at a sonnet, with lessons hopefully learned from AlwaysHungry and his Can You Write a Sonnet? thread. I think there may be some glitches in the meter, and the rhyme scheme I know is not quite traditional.
I invite comments and suggestions.
( a sonnet EXAMPLE of one of mine for participants of the SLAM )
GATHERINGS
He fills both hair and arms to glory her
With all the flowers lavender and blue.
Draws scent to waiting nostrils blossoms' stir
That seems to match the tremor of their hue.
He shakes the dewdrops all until they're gone,
To rain upon her eyes and lips between.
She so adores the muted light of dawn
That keeps the colors of her buds pristine.
The other colors of this pallet bring
A daisy wheel of yellow, red and peach,
To give to her a rainbow arc of spring,
And give to him her love within his reach;
In future parting seasons, colors fade,
Their scent, however, never dies away.
GATHERINGS
He fills both hair and arms to glory her
With all the flowers lavender and blue.
Draws scent to waiting nostrils blossoms' stir
That seems to match the tremor of their hue.
He shakes the dewdrops all until they're gone,
To rain upon her eyes and lips between.
She so adores the muted light of dawn
That keeps the colors of her buds pristine.
The other colors of this pallet bring
A daisy wheel of yellow, red and peach,
To give to her a rainbow arc of spring,
And give to him her love within his reach;
In future parting seasons, colors fade,
Their scent, however, never dies away.
I shall attempt this, I've never written a sonnet before, I've always wanted to attempt one, so, here goes. Someone can let me know if my syllable count is off.
Sonnet For a Spider
A spider crawling up my bedroom wall
Her immense shadow drapes over my arm
Effortlessly sitting declines her fall
And once slipped--brings her not a bit of harm
She glides--a spy-- and weaves tendrils of steel
Upon the sheets, she drops to creep
Then on my hand, she searches for a meal
With weightless-needle-feet to keep my sleep
The slightest twitch breaks on my sleeping skin
To her, an earthquake of cause for panic
Two neurotoxin fangs bent razor thin
That send me her sickness made organic
I'm falling ill as she spreads in my sea
Though she is still quite beautiful to me.
Sonnet For a Spider
A spider crawling up my bedroom wall
Her immense shadow drapes over my arm
Effortlessly sitting declines her fall
And once slipped--brings her not a bit of harm
She glides--a spy-- and weaves tendrils of steel
Upon the sheets, she drops to creep
Then on my hand, she searches for a meal
With weightless-needle-feet to keep my sleep
The slightest twitch breaks on my sleeping skin
To her, an earthquake of cause for panic
Two neurotoxin fangs bent razor thin
That send me her sickness made organic
I'm falling ill as she spreads in my sea
Though she is still quite beautiful to me.
anonymouslyhere said:I shall attempt this, I've never written a sonnet before, I've always wanted to attempt one, so, here goes. Someone can let me know if my syllable count is off.
Sonnet For a Spider
Thank you for your entry... I like your rhyme choices: panic and organic and that you used the word neurotoxin in a poem - I will have some notes on meter and syllables I will pm later...
geoff
Sonnet For a Spider
Thank you for your entry... I like your rhyme choices: panic and organic and that you used the word neurotoxin in a poem - I will have some notes on meter and syllables I will pm later...
geoff
Hello all,
First, I want to thank all of you who have entered, so far:
Berea440oh for WITH HIS HOT ROOMMATE
dejure for a love sonnet
IronFears for The Journey
Artemois for My red high heels
Taryn for “in between” – A Sonnet
Long After Dusk – Made to Sonnet
Visceral Sighs – Made to Sonnet
calamitygin for His Goddess
AlwaysHungry for his untitled sonnet
Astyanax for The Company of Gods
MayRayn for Liebeslied
anonymouslyhere for Sonnet for a Spider
With 4 days left, I wanted to review the guidelines – this was an English sonnet competition –
14 lines of iambic pentameter, rhymed ABAB CDCD EFEF GG…
there is still plenty of time to make any adjustments needed...
I’ll be reaching out tomorrow by pm just to check in and offer any help I can…
love reading your poems
geoff
First, I want to thank all of you who have entered, so far:
Berea440oh for WITH HIS HOT ROOMMATE
dejure for a love sonnet
IronFears for The Journey
Artemois for My red high heels
Taryn for “in between” – A Sonnet
Long After Dusk – Made to Sonnet
Visceral Sighs – Made to Sonnet
calamitygin for His Goddess
AlwaysHungry for his untitled sonnet
Astyanax for The Company of Gods
MayRayn for Liebeslied
anonymouslyhere for Sonnet for a Spider
With 4 days left, I wanted to review the guidelines – this was an English sonnet competition –
14 lines of iambic pentameter, rhymed ABAB CDCD EFEF GG…
there is still plenty of time to make any adjustments needed...
I’ll be reaching out tomorrow by pm just to check in and offer any help I can…
love reading your poems
geoff
EXAMPLE/ SAMPLE SONNETS POSTED THROUGHOUT THE SLAM THREAD:
Hi All! Your friendly co-pilot here! Thanks, host Geoff, for that helpful update pulling everything together as to where the status of the competition stands at this time. The roster of entrants is impressive!
As for myself, my reminder to everyone is about the sonnet examples Geoff and I have posted on the thread to help, aide and guide those who feel the need for a variety of themes and references of English sonnets. We encourage you to take a look as much as you need, especially regarding cadence, meter, syllable count and rhyme scheme.
The titles available are as follows...
By host Geoff:
• BOUND
• After Kale and Garlic, Persimmons Taste Like You
• HEP-ATITUS
By Jade:
• ALICE: REVISITED
• BLACK SWAN
• PROMISE
• GATHERINGS
And feel free by all means to pm us, should you need, when it comes to the competition while it's running.
I'll now return you to the SLAM experience!
Cheers,
Jade
Hi All! Your friendly co-pilot here! Thanks, host Geoff, for that helpful update pulling everything together as to where the status of the competition stands at this time. The roster of entrants is impressive!
As for myself, my reminder to everyone is about the sonnet examples Geoff and I have posted on the thread to help, aide and guide those who feel the need for a variety of themes and references of English sonnets. We encourage you to take a look as much as you need, especially regarding cadence, meter, syllable count and rhyme scheme.
The titles available are as follows...
By host Geoff:
• BOUND
• After Kale and Garlic, Persimmons Taste Like You
• HEP-ATITUS
By Jade:
• ALICE: REVISITED
• BLACK SWAN
• PROMISE
• GATHERINGS
And feel free by all means to pm us, should you need, when it comes to the competition while it's running.
I'll now return you to the SLAM experience!
Cheers,
Jade
Finally, inspiration spoke, and I have edited the first stanza to fix the rhyming pattern.
Liebeslied
The nipple, shaped just like Erato's grape,
his lips devours, just as - from silver strings -
Kithara’s sweet, melodic notes escape
to grace the air, shine forth their shimmerings.
The clear thin stream, it trickled down her breast
and glossed upon her molten skin, to rest
in that small valley just above the nest
where men submerge their wicked dreams to crest.
The sweetest limerence reveals a plea
to their abiding need, to which her love’s
clear visage holds a mute, unbidden key
to their surprise, to loose on wingéd doves.
In gilded memories they steeped their love,
their dreams ethereal as the moon above.
Liebeslied
The nipple, shaped just like Erato's grape,
his lips devours, just as - from silver strings -
Kithara’s sweet, melodic notes escape
to grace the air, shine forth their shimmerings.
The clear thin stream, it trickled down her breast
and glossed upon her molten skin, to rest
in that small valley just above the nest
where men submerge their wicked dreams to crest.
The sweetest limerence reveals a plea
to their abiding need, to which her love’s
clear visage holds a mute, unbidden key
to their surprise, to loose on wingéd doves.
In gilded memories they steeped their love,
their dreams ethereal as the moon above.
Too Close
I had a problem with a darkened heart
Where joy and beauty couldn’t enter in
Each day I struggled through to play my part
Each night I knew that I could never win
I cried to you, a hero - you were there
You heard my heart with kindness in your face
Your friendship gave me hope, your gentle care
Gave strength to reach for needed help and grace
A little yellow pill now mutes my fears
And so my need for rescue seems all gone
But still I must admit in private tears
My longing for your closeness lingers on
And though I ache to offer you my soul
Respectful distance keeps our friendship whole
I had a problem with a darkened heart
Where joy and beauty couldn’t enter in
Each day I struggled through to play my part
Each night I knew that I could never win
I cried to you, a hero - you were there
You heard my heart with kindness in your face
Your friendship gave me hope, your gentle care
Gave strength to reach for needed help and grace
A little yellow pill now mutes my fears
And so my need for rescue seems all gone
But still I must admit in private tears
My longing for your closeness lingers on
And though I ache to offer you my soul
Respectful distance keeps our friendship whole
A Bird in the Hand
A goldfinch hit my window yesterday
I heard the smack and instantly I knew
I rushed to see, and motionless he lay
Where just a heartbeat earlier he flew
His lifeless body felt so warm and light
Though small and soft, I’d never call him frail
Such subtle strength, he was designed for flight
With craftsmanship and colorful detail
I willed his breath return, and shed a tear
Poor victim to a simple pane of glass
His brothers flitted at the feeder near
But ever out of reach they made their pass
A tragic gift I knew it was to hold
Within my hands this miracle of gold
A goldfinch hit my window yesterday
I heard the smack and instantly I knew
I rushed to see, and motionless he lay
Where just a heartbeat earlier he flew
His lifeless body felt so warm and light
Though small and soft, I’d never call him frail
Such subtle strength, he was designed for flight
With craftsmanship and colorful detail
I willed his breath return, and shed a tear
Poor victim to a simple pane of glass
His brothers flitted at the feeder near
But ever out of reach they made their pass
A tragic gift I knew it was to hold
Within my hands this miracle of gold
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more wet and twice as annoying.
The trees that dripped their leaves in May
Speak now of June your perfume cloying.
The crashing thunder portrays your voice
Till birds shall drop from crumpled wings,
As your snores now make my heart rejoice
No more to hear those strident vocal rings.
What once I looked upon as sweet and coy
Your simpering coquettishness at every whim
Was not just only girlish, youthful play
I now perceive at last my god you're dim.
As long as you still take breath, alas
I must survive your chronic problem, gas.
Thou art more wet and twice as annoying.
The trees that dripped their leaves in May
Speak now of June your perfume cloying.
The crashing thunder portrays your voice
Till birds shall drop from crumpled wings,
As your snores now make my heart rejoice
No more to hear those strident vocal rings.
What once I looked upon as sweet and coy
Your simpering coquettishness at every whim
Was not just only girlish, youthful play
I now perceive at last my god you're dim.
As long as you still take breath, alas
I must survive your chronic problem, gas.
