Your Crime without Punishment

OK folks one punchy short story no more than one thousand words or a poem of reasonable length saying what crime you would commit if you knew for certain you wouldn't be caught? No kiddy fiddlers please, no colabs and one entry each. The winner to receive a free smile!

Sumthin cummin up kitty cat!! Stay tuned..cool comp

Im a frog in a small pond in michigan.
Around the thumb area.
The humans are just plain nuts around here.
The single guy who is our landlord  has four chickens that will eat us if we are not quick on our feet.
Worse they got helicopters that fly over to spray for mosquutos but that is what i eat and the spray wipes out pretty much everything insect.
So i would sure like to flip my toungue at that thar darned helicopter and swallow it but
It never gets close enough. Then again if i raid my landlords bag of anabolic steroids and raid his frig
That is where all his food comes from
Maybe i can get this project
Up and running.
The pond is big enough to hide my growing
Body
I could get out in the sun while my landlord is at work

An interesting read that was indeed.

ASININE

Every now and then
I see a woman
With such a cute ass
I have a compulsion
To give it a pat
Not slap it
Or pinch it
Just pat it
And say to her
“You’ve got a cute ass!”
But I know
That if I did
She probably
Would turn around
And knock me
Flat on my ass

To get away with a crime,
one that would help my mind relax,
simply would be sublime.
The crime I would commit is genocide.
The true definition is not specific,
the death of many would bring me peace.
Not innocent but those who deserve agony.
Them suffering from my hand would set me free.
To get away clean not a drop on my clothing,
All of the people I love unknowing,
A delicious sweet from all the pain,
From their necks their blood will drain.
Not a population of race,
or those who hide behind a religious face,
Only an unfortunate group,
that decided to get in my way.

A Love Crime

His body would be softened -
I would crawl inside,
deep into the caverns of his soul.

His body would be softened -
I would steal his gaze,
his stagnant eyes would hold to mine, for the first time.

In the quiet moment
he'd not play tricks with my mind.
In the solemn room
I could leave it behind -

and seek myself
a new;  
not
wanting to be with him.

His body would be softened -
I would lick his bones

after weeping
after watching the seeping
after slipping the silver

into
his
spleen,

from within
the tales of us
would splatter out.

Some good stuff here keep it up!

Redneck Revenge

If i could get away with something that i normally would not...
I'd kid nap my toothless red neck neighbor while she was mowing in her waaaay to small yeller tube top!

See i am normally one to say "love your body no matter what your size!!"
But this fat chicks rollin belly makes that neon yellow crime of fashion steadily by force of gut rise and rise. And "fuck me!" i looked, jeeeez! Now i might have to poke out mih eyes.

Its enough to watch each cheek of her big ass fight under her daisy duke shorts too small by a few size, battle it out between her white cellulite ridden thighs....

And the camel toe...(just threw up in mih mouth a lil) makes mih bile rize.

And she mows in increasingly more zig zagged lines, keeps a Jack bottle close to stop and occasionally take long gulped swigs. While obliviously mowin over flyin twigs.

Instead of picking up the myriad shit in the yard....she cuts a path with her mower in a drunken craze.
A foot tall the grass, the mower hasn't seen action in many many a dazed day!

The accumulating foster kids dart around rescuing toys and thangs...
The stoned hubby stumbles out and decides to sang.."I was drunk the day my mama got outta prison..i went, to pick er up, in the rain! But before i could get to the station in mih picuuup truck! I got ranned over by a damned ol train!"

Then tank top lady yells at em all at least twice!.."Jes get outta here and be quiet! Do any of you know what it takes fer mih to keep this place loookin nice!!!?"

Meanwhile..that yeller tube top is rizin and a rizin showin completely horrific sights. Her disgustin plate sized nipple showin with her belly roll heights....

So yes, i'd love to borry a strangers van. Cover her head, tie her up, bind her hands.
Make her swear on a bible and make an "I'll dress aproputtlee oathe.."
And to expect much worse if ever she mows again not fully clothed!

Crimes Committed For The Good Of All People

Laws. lies. banking global control.
take people's time. people's energy. and enslave them.
MONEY. a weapon.
break down the electron. kill all electricity.
when in the dark. chaos leads to freedom.
ANONYMOUS. lead without an identity.
victory chiseled by genius.
atomic break down magic.
the electron. revelation.

Simply put...


If there was a crime to commit with out punishment to simply put it I would become a moderned day robin hood.

I would steal from the over wealthy you know the truly rich and help those who truly deserve it. I would shelter our homeless vets, I would give to those single mothers who work multiple jobs to make ends meet but somehow still come up short.

I would take from the greedy who waste their money on nonsense. I would show those who are struggling to help them selves that someone cares.
I have no problem with those who make something of them selves, yet my heart breaks for those who try yet fall short all the time.

I would rid the world of poverty giving to those who are truly in need.

Sir Snuggle...id say thanks and pinch yours! Lol loved it
..

A Crime Of Passion

I would commit a crime so evil,
So sinister,
That I would never again be looked in the eyes by the one
I cherish most.
Oh, this deed is not criminal,
But I will be locked away.
In my own mind, trapped.
I would make him fall for me, slowly,
The way I did him.
Slow, intimate nights,
Nights where I can feel his very essence
Inside of me.
And then, I would break his sorry heart,
Just like he did mine,
If it were legal and just.
But for now I'll watch him from afar,
Undressing him with my eyes,
Picturing what I would do if he were to be mine.

Parliament


Remember, Remember
the
........................................

I had a chance
an opportunity
to end a government
it'd be
all at around
five past five
with synchronous
bangs
what was that date
November
and five

Maskless,
and open I'd
force them to admit
to defeat
and end the damn
slavery
all people meet.


-x-

So much great stuff it's so damned hard to choose. In the end I cose the one yhank 'sang to my soul' the most. Thanks everyone for participating!