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Poetry competition CLOSED 2nd September 2014 10:26pm
WINNER
case28 (Alexander Case)
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Playground Massacre

Hidden_Flame
Twisted Dreamer
United States
Joined 7th Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 82

Poetry Contest

write a back to school themed story about getting bloody revenge on everyone who crossed you last year on the playground
2 submissions each
no collaborations
prose form only

EngrVV
D_Poetic Engineer
Dangerous Mind
United States 40awards
Joined 11th Sep 2012
Forum Posts: 2483

I believe this is not a good topic...either you're fishing or provoking, either way the thoughts of it are beyond comprehension.

poet Anonymous

I think this topic should be approached very carefully, given all the real school massacres that have happened in real life. The killing and maiming of schoolchildren is perverse enough without promoting that in print. How about we revamp the opening rules a bit to avoid too much gore, and go for some other options of revenge, like public humiliation, suspension, legal action, etc.  There's other ways to best bullies than to pull a "Carrie" and wipe out the whole town.

snugglebuck
Dangerous Mind
United States 77awards
Joined 3rd Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 1873

Agreed!  

Grace
IDryad
Tyrant of Words
126awards
Joined 25th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 17046

I think the OP should change the topic to "countering bullies" or something. Pending which the comp should be done away with.

poet Anonymous

Are u feckin serious?

How about one on lynchings while we're at it?

Smh

poet Anonymous

how about one where the kids all gang up on the one trying to massacre----and have revenge on him?

poet Anonymous

HollyDove said:how about one where the kids all gang up on the one trying to massacre----and have revenge on him?




kids and massacres on playgrounds.....


like the news isn't gruesome enough

poet Anonymous

I meant without the gore. I've never been a fan of gory stories.

poet Anonymous

I think that the topic of rising above bullying and putting bullies in their place, can be both valid and interesting to write about, and it can be done with far more finesse, and even humor, as opposed to blood and guts. So at this point we can take it upon ourselves to adjust the opening rules of this comp and write accordingly, or we can see if our host will concede and make an edit (ball's in your court, Hidden Flame....).

HadesRising
Tyrant of Words
United States 34awards
Joined 8th June 2013
Forum Posts: 1625

I was starting to feel this was like the old Marilyn Manson song "lunchbox"

AscensionES
Aptilneilrionaltion
Dangerous Mind
Australia 9awards
Joined 22nd Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 1797

Ugh. This is so hypocritical, the 'dark' section is one of the most frequented of this site. Either everything is okay or nothing is.

poet Anonymous

Dark is fine, but there's a limit to everything, regardless of genre. There does come a point where it should be questioned if something goes too far and is inappropriate even for "the harder side of poetry". Personally, I have no problem with pushing the limits, but I also look from the perspective of the reader as well--what if a parent of a Columbine or Newtown massacre victim, happened to come in here and read what got posted? It would sicken me to no end if it were my child who was gunned to death at school, a place where children are supposed to feel safe.

Tamaura_NightAngel
Thought Provoker
France 1awards
Joined 23rd Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 42

                 THE GIRL WHO GOT HER REVANGE

You the monster who tormented me everyday its time I had my revange. The first day of school no one will notice the gun in my pocket . I walk threw the doors to see you standing there and laughing. It looks like you forgot what happend last year when you bulled  and raped me I took you to court but your daddy gave a shit load of money to the juge and got him to say not guilty. Oh this revange will be so sweet . I walk to you and pull out my colt.45 and shoot you in the face . The friends that you were next to scream as blood splaters every where . Your dead body pooling blood onto the floor eveyone is running scared they are going to be next . But I wont kill those who had nothing to do with it. I walk down the halls covred in your blood I am off to go see the teacher who your daddy payed off to say in court that I made the whole thing up . I find him in class teaching still not hearing the news of what happend at the frount doors of the school . I look at him with so much hate agan I pull out my Colt.45 and shoot him in the fucking face . His blood spatters all over the black bord the kids in the room cry and scream dont shoot me . I look at them all and say you are fools I will not kill those who are not involved in this . Next it was time to go see the principal of the school who is friends with your father the man who got rid of all the evidance.  I walk to his office he has locked the door stupied fool there is a window right next to the door . I take a chair and smash the window in I walk inside and he is there hideing in a corner saying please don't shoot. I laugh at him and get down to face him shhh this will only hurt for a moment . I put the colt.45 to his head and pull the trigger his body falls softly agent the wall. I am covred in his blood too but now only one more to go . I walk down the halls once agan leaving bloody footprints where I walk hearing the sounds of scream and crying not caring at all. I walk to the very back of the school where there is a big shiny door that reads OFFACE OF THE CHARMEN . There you are I say to my self I smile and laugh oh yes the asshole who thinks that money can save him he better pray to his god becuse noting can save him now. I open the door he is standing there crying and scared he looks at me . The first thing he says is I can pay you what ever you want so don't shoot please . I look at him and scream YOU REALY THINK MONEY WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ME WHAT I WANTED WAS JUSTISE BUT YOU PAYED OFF EVEYONE YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON DID NOW GO TO HELL ALONG WITH HIM!!!  I take the colt .45 and aim it at his balls and fire the first round he screams and falls to the ground. Oh how sweet is his cry but now its time to end his life . I take the 45 and aim it at his head and shoot over and over untill his head is not reconsed . I take the gun and load it with one bullet and walk out the room . I walk down the halls then up a stairway I walk past a mirror and look at my self and laugh I am covred in blood ah that was so much fun I countune to walk . untill I reach the roof top I look down and there are cop cars and amblences every where fools no one was hurt but the ones I had to kill watch on the news to night they will all make up stories and say how they tried to stop me or how most of them were my friends to get there hafe an hour worth of fame . A person stops he sees me and screams a helicopter then flies above me there all looking seeing what I am going to do will I thought about shooting my self in the head but what I realy want is to fly. I walk over to the edge of the roof and turn so that way when I jump I am looking up at the sky . I laugh as I fall becuse I dont bleave in heaven or hell its only darkness for me . But others do and thats what I find funny I smile as I close my eyes and hit the ground I die instantly.

so befor you think its horrible that this teen or that teen shot up a school asks yourselfs why did they do it becuse there mabe more too it then you think.

I dont know if this poem fits the rules or not i looked up pose poems becuse i had no clue what it was so if i failed that sucks and i am sorry for the spelling mistakes i suck at spelling so I hope your happy with this poem and i hope it can be amited in to the competition :)

Waterviolet
Fire of Insight
Canada 4awards
Joined 14th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 628

Look at all the people who write about suicide what id some mother of a suicide victim reads those poems u can say that for every topic under the sun

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