Poetry competition CLOSED 22nd March 2014 3:16pm
WINNER
liz (BlueRoseLiz)
liz (BlueRoseLiz)
Pick Up Line
Poetry Contest Description
A poem on how you'd pick someone up
Say you see someone at a bar, at an event, the gym or where ever, write a poem to hit on that person, to try and pick them up. Any style you want and enter as many times as you'd like
MY ONE AND ONLY PICK-UP LINE THAT ACTUALLY WORKED
The following pick-up line originated somewhere between my right and left ear, when I was about 26 years of age. And it worked!
Like most pick-lines, it required a certain amount of theatrics that have to be described, so bear with me. And when projecting the following scenario in your mind, please don't visualize me by my current avatar. I was a quit different young lad back then, and had a full head of hair to prove it.
Imagine an attractive young woman entering a crowded room. She notices a young man bashful throwing her flirtatious glances. When their eyes meet she smiles, when suddenly the young man starts vigorously rubbing his eyes, wincing and moaning in pain.
The concerned young woman is quickly at his side, with a comforting hand on his arm she asks, “Are you Okay? Is there something in your eyes?”
“NO!” The young man says while wiping away painful tears. “But you’re so ‘Hot’ you started to melt my contact lenses!’
The following pick-up line originated somewhere between my right and left ear, when I was about 26 years of age. And it worked!
Like most pick-lines, it required a certain amount of theatrics that have to be described, so bear with me. And when projecting the following scenario in your mind, please don't visualize me by my current avatar. I was a quit different young lad back then, and had a full head of hair to prove it.
Imagine an attractive young woman entering a crowded room. She notices a young man bashful throwing her flirtatious glances. When their eyes meet she smiles, when suddenly the young man starts vigorously rubbing his eyes, wincing and moaning in pain.
The concerned young woman is quickly at his side, with a comforting hand on his arm she asks, “Are you Okay? Is there something in your eyes?”
“NO!” The young man says while wiping away painful tears. “But you’re so ‘Hot’ you started to melt my contact lenses!’
Sieze the Day
Darling, we've only just met,
And I know that this is forward
But you've caught me like a fish in a net.
I would catch all the stars in the skies
To, just for one moment,
Give you that smile that lights up your eyes.
I would drag a car
By my teeth
In the rain and sleet
For an evening spent in your company
And perhaps I don't live up
To your glamour and finesse
But we will never know
Unless we take a chance I guess
So come with me tonight
Join me for an evening
I promise to dazzle you with wonder and delight
Darling, we've only just met,
And I know that this is forward
But you've caught me like a fish in a net.
I would catch all the stars in the skies
To, just for one moment,
Give you that smile that lights up your eyes.
I would drag a car
By my teeth
In the rain and sleet
For an evening spent in your company
And perhaps I don't live up
To your glamour and finesse
But we will never know
Unless we take a chance I guess
So come with me tonight
Join me for an evening
I promise to dazzle you with wonder and delight
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Who the heck cares.
For I only care about you.
And not the color of a flower.
your charm is greater than 400,000 pounds of gold.
your love will be my greatest fortune.
your the white dove in a feild of crows.
the bright red rose of my life.
*gives rose*
Violets are blue.
Who the heck cares.
For I only care about you.
And not the color of a flower.
your charm is greater than 400,000 pounds of gold.
your love will be my greatest fortune.
your the white dove in a feild of crows.
the bright red rose of my life.
*gives rose*
Guaranteed to get you the girl of your dreams.(you have to put the shades on for you to enjoy the full effects)
SLAYED CLICHÉ
hey girl
I think I and u
Need to be together
For the alphabet to make sense.
Recently I got a job
So I can tip you
If you keen on doing wild things
Like going to the zoo.
And when I look at your rear
Its like looking at the earth
From the moons point of view.
Swear you sat on sugar
Cause that ass is sweet.
I will go to the chocolate factory with you
If I can be your seat.
Bet you farted babey
Cause you blew me away.
SLAYED CLICHÉ
hey girl
I think I and u
Need to be together
For the alphabet to make sense.
Recently I got a job
So I can tip you
If you keen on doing wild things
Like going to the zoo.
And when I look at your rear
Its like looking at the earth
From the moons point of view.
Swear you sat on sugar
Cause that ass is sweet.
I will go to the chocolate factory with you
If I can be your seat.
Bet you farted babey
Cause you blew me away.
1+1=1
If i were you
And you were i
Id talk to me
Do u know why?
Cuz if you were me
And i were you
Id feel a strong connection too
But you are you
And i am me
And in your eyes,
Myself i see
And so i know this to be true
That you and i are one
Not two
If i were you
And you were i
Id talk to me
Do u know why?
Cuz if you were me
And i were you
Id feel a strong connection too
But you are you
And i am me
And in your eyes,
Myself i see
And so i know this to be true
That you and i are one
Not two
This older poem of mine has been around the block a couple of times like some pick up lines.
GETTING GIRLS
Two days ago I'm Elvis,
Yesterday I'm Dylan,
Today Jesus is the role I'm filling
Because although I've been a faithful
Reader to letters of Penthouse Forum
For a score and some years,
It's still anybody's guess
On how to impress
Damsels thigh
Deep in distress.
I've got some game
From letters as I can e mail
Like Danielle Steele on steroids,
But by the time the face to face
Comes round I'm shaking wardrobe
Like Tina Turner doing Proud Mary.
Words tripping up and down my tongue
Like a Wallenda baby learning the high wire.
Once in a while a shot or two of Jack
Calms my ass right down
But nine times out of ten
The burn in my throat
Hangs my tongue out to dry
With my diction sounding
Like Tarrentino in Pulp Fiction
Trapped in a Bergman movie.
What did I just say?
And what the hell
Does that even mean?
So I see this lioness
Of love in the local
Watering hole and it's lust
At first sight and I'm struck
Down by cupid without a fight.
I down a shot of Rum 151
To burn the cap off some follicles
So I can sprout some fresh hair
On my chest to hide my pale
Bony breastplate but my words
Are my weapon so long as I can fire.
So I whisper in my friend's ear like Cyrano
But my mouthpiece is cute so I get up and go
To the bathroom where I roll up my sleeves
Lathering soap on my biceps so they shine.
I do twenty pushups and unbutton my shirt
Open the door and strut to my lady.
That Rum 151 is some powerful shit.
So I walk up smooth as a baby's ass
Say “Hey, Miss, you from Tennessee?
Cause you're the only ten I see.”
My voice dripping
So much golden honey
I could do Shakespeare
In any park in the goddamn state.
The beauty looks me in the eye
And smiles, I swear, a string of pearls
Lighting up that dingy bar
Like it's the Fourth of July.
“Tony!” she squeals in delight,
“Did you get my Uncle's letter?
It's me, your cousin, Cassandra,
From Kalamazoo.
I'm a teenager now
I got no rules, hell,
I might just marry you
To bug the shit out of my daddy
Like Myra Gale and Jerry Lee Lewis.”
That spooked the alcohol
Right out my head to my urethra
So I had to excuse myself
Quick before I drown
In a Satan sauce of kin blood,
Sweat and tears,
Piss and vinegar,
Sodom and Gommorah
And anything else
That might prevent me
From ever getting a girl again.
SEE VIDEO HERE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i2jt3dp2A1E
GETTING GIRLS
Two days ago I'm Elvis,
Yesterday I'm Dylan,
Today Jesus is the role I'm filling
Because although I've been a faithful
Reader to letters of Penthouse Forum
For a score and some years,
It's still anybody's guess
On how to impress
Damsels thigh
Deep in distress.
I've got some game
From letters as I can e mail
Like Danielle Steele on steroids,
But by the time the face to face
Comes round I'm shaking wardrobe
Like Tina Turner doing Proud Mary.
Words tripping up and down my tongue
Like a Wallenda baby learning the high wire.
Once in a while a shot or two of Jack
Calms my ass right down
But nine times out of ten
The burn in my throat
Hangs my tongue out to dry
With my diction sounding
Like Tarrentino in Pulp Fiction
Trapped in a Bergman movie.
What did I just say?
And what the hell
Does that even mean?
So I see this lioness
Of love in the local
Watering hole and it's lust
At first sight and I'm struck
Down by cupid without a fight.
I down a shot of Rum 151
To burn the cap off some follicles
So I can sprout some fresh hair
On my chest to hide my pale
Bony breastplate but my words
Are my weapon so long as I can fire.
So I whisper in my friend's ear like Cyrano
But my mouthpiece is cute so I get up and go
To the bathroom where I roll up my sleeves
Lathering soap on my biceps so they shine.
I do twenty pushups and unbutton my shirt
Open the door and strut to my lady.
That Rum 151 is some powerful shit.
So I walk up smooth as a baby's ass
Say “Hey, Miss, you from Tennessee?
Cause you're the only ten I see.”
My voice dripping
So much golden honey
I could do Shakespeare
In any park in the goddamn state.
The beauty looks me in the eye
And smiles, I swear, a string of pearls
Lighting up that dingy bar
Like it's the Fourth of July.
“Tony!” she squeals in delight,
“Did you get my Uncle's letter?
It's me, your cousin, Cassandra,
From Kalamazoo.
I'm a teenager now
I got no rules, hell,
I might just marry you
To bug the shit out of my daddy
Like Myra Gale and Jerry Lee Lewis.”
That spooked the alcohol
Right out my head to my urethra
So I had to excuse myself
Quick before I drown
In a Satan sauce of kin blood,
Sweat and tears,
Piss and vinegar,
Sodom and Gommorah
And anything else
That might prevent me
From ever getting a girl again.
SEE VIDEO HERE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=i2jt3dp2A1E
If I ever cut myself, it's because I want my pulse to see you too.
Don't call me crazy.
But before I approached you I considered setting myself on fire
so I could feel as hot as you.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then I considered playing it cool, downed ten cups of shaved ice.
It didn't work.
Maybe if I peel back the skin on my ears you'd think I was a better listener.
I left the vegetable peeler at home, though.
I could get someone to scalp me
so that you'd be able to see my thoughts.
Or kiss you with an electrical circuit in my mouth,
so you'd think my kisses are like lightening.
I could fashion a flute from my femur,
to show how you make my bones sing.
Give you a loaded gun, guide your hands to my chest,
in the hopes I can prove I trust you.
Wear ten pairs of sunglasses
so I can manage to look at you with your brilliance.
And here I stand before you, having done none of this in my cowardice,
offering you the most sincere smile I can muster, in combination with one word I can manage,
"Hey."
Please don't think I'm crazy
Don't call me crazy.
But before I approached you I considered setting myself on fire
so I could feel as hot as you.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then I considered playing it cool, downed ten cups of shaved ice.
It didn't work.
Maybe if I peel back the skin on my ears you'd think I was a better listener.
I left the vegetable peeler at home, though.
I could get someone to scalp me
so that you'd be able to see my thoughts.
Or kiss you with an electrical circuit in my mouth,
so you'd think my kisses are like lightening.
I could fashion a flute from my femur,
to show how you make my bones sing.
Give you a loaded gun, guide your hands to my chest,
in the hopes I can prove I trust you.
Wear ten pairs of sunglasses
so I can manage to look at you with your brilliance.
And here I stand before you, having done none of this in my cowardice,
offering you the most sincere smile I can muster, in combination with one word I can manage,
"Hey."
Please don't think I'm crazy
Turning the Table
I just drowned
in the deep pool
of your eyes
please give me
mouth to mouth
resuscitation
Your voice sounds
like a rhapsody
that only I can hear
come closer and sing
all the words
into my ear
Did you know
its my lucky day
write my lucky number
on this napkin
your cellphone contact
will do just fine.
I just drowned
in the deep pool
of your eyes
please give me
mouth to mouth
resuscitation
Your voice sounds
like a rhapsody
that only I can hear
come closer and sing
all the words
into my ear
Did you know
its my lucky day
write my lucky number
on this napkin
your cellphone contact
will do just fine.
Hilarious!! I flat lined at the last two lines.... #DEADFunny If You Smile, They Will Come
Eyes locked with his
opposite sides of the room
Offering a subtle smile
breaking my gaze, casually
Head tilted, soft slant
exposed neckline in view
Fingers gently push loose strands of hair
behind my ear
slowly
teasingly
Looking up, across the room
finding him starring, still
I smile once more,
biting my glossed bottom lip
Sophisticated confidence,
innocent body language
no words are spoken
If you smile,
They will come
~Rain~
Eyes locked with his
opposite sides of the room
Offering a subtle smile
breaking my gaze, casually
Head tilted, soft slant
exposed neckline in view
Fingers gently push loose strands of hair
behind my ear
slowly
teasingly
Looking up, across the room
finding him starring, still
I smile once more,
biting my glossed bottom lip
Sophisticated confidence,
innocent body language
no words are spoken
If you smile,
They will come
~Rain~
