Despair Revisited

[b]You are revisiting sites or seeing sights that remind you of a sad episode in the past. It could be your experience with a person, persons or situations. Write a poem about then and how you feel about it now.[/b]

1. One poem per poet
2. Not more than 300 words
3. Title your poem
4. No collab
5. New Poem

Inviting all DUP friends and family to participate.

"Torn away"

To think that you could have been.
Scaring me to death
and driving me to wits end.
I planned, I strive to change for you
I had to grow up quicker than I wanted to.
You sat deep inside my beloved.
A seed, unexpectedly planted.
And before I knew it, you were gone.
I swore you were going to be my baby girl
I swore I was to do right
But the thread of your being was torn away
Tis why I sit here scorned today.
Rest in peace my child unborn.

Thank you Bale for your participation.

The Whisper

I  hear your  voice 
Hidden in a whisper 
I thought the hard part was over   

My evil nightmare 
Come in sudden lectures 
To walk to nowhere   

I will say no 
A dark and lonely war 
Enjoyed alone   

Mirror Mirror 
I see more of me everyday 
Till this whisper soon fades away

MrNobody, thank you for participating.

http://myrivendell.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/in-the-end-these-things-matter-most-how-well-did-you-love-how-fully-did-you-live-how-deeply-did-you-let-go-quote-by-buddha.jpg

DO NOT WANT WHAT YOU CANNOT HAVE


I have so often called it “unfair”
In retrospect it was the attributes I was given
We all are subject to that
It is called “genomic expression”
It can be a bad nose, thin hair, your face, your body
Whatever it was, when I looked at “Seventeen”
In every way, I could not measure up

Raised on competition
From a race with a reputation
For intelligence
Even there, I realized
I was lacking certain skills
Comparing marks while missing cues
Dealing daily with high IQs
In the day before intelligence
Was recognized as being more complex

I had the right parents
With a history from the depth of hell
Second hand PTSD just from listening
To horror stories of how they survived
Wanted a family like “Leave it to Beaver”
Or “Father Know Best”
Could not tell the difference
Between everybody's family
Scarred with secrets from the past
It would not let go of me
The scars are inherited and last

So I always felt inferior
Which led me to envy
Others who seemed to have
What I was never given
It took a Buddhist philosophy
To put me back on track
To gracefully relinquish moaning
About the “unfaireness” of it all

Since everything is an illusion
Birth and death are recycled
Life is the period which
We are challenged to see beyond
The immediate worldly vision

So now I look back
At what life was trying to teach me
An ancient philosophy
Do not want what you cannot have
Has finally made sense
Has finally made me see
A universal experience
I am now trying to learn freedom
By letting go
Of so called “reality”.

http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3273

284 words

Thank you Kitty for participating.

Grace said:Thank you Kitty for participating.

Thank you for the competition...good idea!

I hope more poets will participate in this competition:

What day is today

Oh I know now
The day many years ago
When I died
In my spirit, in my love
Within my  soul, in my heart
hopes dashed
Dreams shattered
It was many years today

A single phone call
Taken up by you
Whispered Hello
her sleepy voice
besides you,
Her sleepy sexy voice
Saying who is it baby
and you answered 'no one'

Today
I remember
Again
One phone call.

there's no doubt
that, whenever the sun shines
the rain is never too far behind
the trick, I s'pose is to always keep a brolly handy
or just dance
like them guys in the black and white movies
rain wasn't so bad then

the colors are calling
the blue ones and white ones
are being most vocal
and I'd be lying if I said
they didn't have my attention

the world could do with more colors

Thank you, lepperochan, for your participation.

you left me a long time ago (you just forgot to leave)

stumbled home, drunk and lonely,
but you were gone, there was only
a letter; a neatly folded letter.

all it said was you were just not happy
and i raced through the house, halfway batty.
that night… i went a little bit crazy.

but after beer and pills, with some introspection
i see you started leaving to your virtual reflection
years ago... at least two crappy houses ago.

cuz now I see
that you left me
a long time ago
(you just forgot to leave).
you pulled away into your hole
where all your friends are make believe...

no birthday presents for me this year,
no cake, no comics, no whispers in my ear.
just facebook… you wished me happy birthday on facebook.

can’t remember the last time we laughed together...
and since we kissed it'd been forever.
“i just don’t dig that no more…” the saddest thing I’d ever heard...

obsessive attempts at making sense
and frustrated efforts to make amends
went nowhere… you got over me before you left.

and now i see
that you left me
a long time ago
(you just forgot to leave).
you pulled away into your hole
into your world of make believe.

why couldn't i see
that you left me
a long time ago
(you just forgot to leave)?
why you left i'll never know;
how could i have been so naive?

Thank you zenfool for participating.

Cave

Damp riddles the walls.
 
Earth is fighting her way in
and I'm powerless
against the divide
 
so I listened,
and heard her breathing
through porous lungs
 
as she tried to sing,
yet only vomited
in to the dark.
 
She's an undead lover,
with distinct taste
so I'm told
 
Jealous.
Omnipresent.
A spider in the web.
 
I tried to talk to her once,
held out my hand
to receive thin fingers-
 
watched her green eyes
shrink back
into charcoal frowns
 
as she fell to her knees
claiming sanctuary
in the caverns
 
underground.

Hall of Sorrows

A dark hallway of broken dreams
The murals on the walls changing
Fading, moving, like a motion picture
Kaleidoscopic when I grow dizzy
Head spinning so fast I feel crazy

A hazy image of child pornography
Perhaps a manifestation of mind
Derived from tales I had been told  
Of being cleaned below like a puppy
As a baby, and I find it revolting

Random objects litter the floor
Things that were taken from me
A Shirley Temple movie collection
Stuffed animals here and there
Old childhood relics everywhere

Noises soaking through the walls
Like the tears that stained my pillows
When I cried myself to sleep at night
Feeling useless and afraid of him
When he blew up over a silly whim

Blood drips faintly from the ceiling
It's my own crimson, self inflicted
A past addiction in replay before me
A trigger-happy feeling creeps on
Desire to revisit the knife I'd overcome  

Broken glass in a smashed heap
Forming the shape of a red heart
From the times I shattered to pieces
I touch the memory and it comes alive
A vital, beating heart thumps a count of five

A deathly stench itches my nose
Lifeless bodies of favored cats I lost
Some whole litters or scattered loners
A crazy cat lady's worst despair
To come to feed and a cat not be there

I trudge through the hall of sorrow
Trying to block out the reminiscing
I can't stop them from flooding me
Filling my mind with ache and pain
Opening old scars on a horrid memory lane

I become a ghost, floating and fading
Drifting slowly into nothingness
Consumed by the revival of heartache
Then I come upon the door out of here
Fumble at the knob nearly in tears

And I finally drift off to sleep