The Aristocrats

heres an example by Bob Saggat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM&sns=em
obviously, no need for proper poetic format.
....arbitrary filth....

actually....it might be interesting to see if anyone can do a POETIC take on the joke..

Warning!!!!!!!! extremely sick content ...do not read if you are normal








The agent, a small man
with eyes that didn't quite know
where each one was looking
was still doubled over in severe shock
emptying the contents of his belly
hours after the family had left

His secretary Anne O Rexic
stood drop jawed
in the midst, of puddles of blood, jizz and feces
stared at the corpse
of the Labrador in the corner
and when she saw
what looked like two used tampons
stuck to the wall by big black clots
her legs buckled
and she fell face first
into the large bowl of diarrhea
that the two youngest
had been sucking up through straws
and blowing back into their grandmothers anus

The grandfather, having removed his teeth
had placed them in his daughters vagina
and she allowed the Labrador to mount her
then brought her legs together in a quick snap
and literally bit the dogs penis in half-
caught the spurting blood in her mouth
and passed it on to her husband
he then passed it on to his daughter
and she to her brother, and he to his Grandma
they called this -bloodline

the next skit, generation sex
was about all the agent could take
and when they played pass the tampon
he jumped up, and shouted
"stooooppp!, who the hell are you people"
the father brought his family into a group embrace
took a bow, and  proudly announced
"we, good sir
are the Aristocrats"  

lepperochan said:Warning!!!!!!!! extremely sick content ...do not read if you are normal

The agent, a small man
with eyes that didn't quite know
where each one was looking
was still doubled over in severe shock
emptying the contents of his belly
hours after the family had left

His secretary Anne O Rexic
stood drop jawed
in the midst, of puddles of blood, jizz and feces
stared at the corpse
of the Labrador in the corner
and when she saw
what looked like two used tampons
stuck to the wall by big black clots
her legs buckled
and she fell face first
into the large bowl of diarrhea
that the two youngest
had been sucking up through straws
and blowing back into their grandmothers anus

The grandfather, having removed his teeth
had placed them in his daughters vagina
and she allowed the Labrador to mount her
then brought her legs together in a quick snap
and literally bit the dogs penis in half-
caught the spurting blood in her mouth
and passed it on to her husband
he then passed it on to his daughter
and she to her brother, and he to his Grandma
they called this -bloodline

the next skit, generation sex
was about all the agent could take
and when they played pass the tampon
he jumped up, and shouted
"stooooppp!, who the hell are you people"
the father brought his family into a group embrace
took a bow, and  proudly announced
"we, good sir
are the Aristocrats"  


OMG> ROFL>

I'm scarred for life.

omg, it's until 14 March??

If anyone tops that, I'm not sure I want to know.  Craic, what the hell? Maybe it was ditch weed... fuck.

DOWN IN MY BASEMENT

Down in my basement

You will never find

The man who left

His wife and child behind

They thought he walked out

Which he did

But only for milk

And never returned


I offered him a ride

He took it

I looked so innocent

He had no idea

I had a gun

And a Taser




It took a while

To break him in

He tried to break out

But I tethered him

Now he is my obedient man

Serves me in every way he can

Takes his pills when I give them

Cooks and cleans and fucks just fine

Oh that prisoner, that man of mine.

SEEING YOU BLEED

I have done animal research

I have done surgery

Now I will do it to you

How much anesthesia will you need?


I measure out the Versed

I attach the butterfly catheter

Your normal saline is flowing

The scalpels are laid out


I have seen a rat opened

Seen a dog and some fish

Well everyone probably saw chickens

You are my zoology dish


I want to see your insides

But I will be kind

You will be in and out of anesthesia

I will just look around



I take the scalpel

Make a cut from your groin till your throat

Open you with care

Why a real heart beats under there


You are groaning

I give a shot of phenylethylamine

Makes you a little high

Look at you all strapped down

Your stomach looks just fine


Go lower and look at your colon

Small intestine all jumbled up

You seem like a healthy specimen

Must be all the exercise you do


Time to give you scopolamine

You will never remember a thing

The only reminder will be

The long scar I stitched with care


Thank you dear for letting me

Do this to you

I have had orgasm upon orgasm

While I was cutting you.

Craic...you have the sickest poem here....it is truly disgusting to read....you have done well...

I ERASED THIS POEM...BECAUSE IT WAS TOO VULGAR:

FLASHING MY PUSSY

wear no panties, wear no bra

flash my pussy when i can

walk around naked

drives my lover insane

though he has no doubt

that i care for him

he satisfies me

i am an exhibitionist

go out on the balcony

naked with legs flared

answer the door, no clothes on

the UPS guy thinks i am his darling

the janitor is always eager to help

as for the condo manager

he makes up excuses to visit

this a gated community

the guy at the gate visits me

gives me my packages in person

i do go out without underwear

need to flout what i got

in the crowded subway

pushed against a man

he looked down and smiled

said come with me a while

we went to his large business building

he had a corner office with a view

told his secretary to hold all calls

found a condom - he had a pile

his couch was comfy and he was a good lover

i felt guilty about cheating on my man

but this guy was worth it

and now we meet - he is my stockbroker

and invests my money wisely

i am getting over my guilt

as my lover lost his job

in this economy it is not unheard of

and he is happy i have a little cache of money - honey.

A bear went to a talent agency
with not much to say but showed
the director a turd hanging from his fur.
The bees all united and said thats honey for me and thay all got shit faced trying to find something sweet.

~Written strictly for this 'vulgar' competition~

“Sick Yuppies”
http://www.visualphotos.com/photo/2x4170837/people_waiting_at_bus_stop_IE396-051.jpg

Yesterday,
I was waiting
at the stop
over on Oak and Main,
things seemed normal.
Two yuppies were sitting
on the same bench
waiting
for the same bus,
whispering.
We hadn’t been there
but a few minutes
when the
prettiest
girl in the world
willowed past.
Man,
I mean she was
drop-dead gorgeous,
smokin’ hot.
She knew it too,
blew right by us.
One of the guys
smiled and said,
“I’d eat the corn right
out of her shit!”
They both chuckled
like children.
Then,
the other dude
turned saying,
“Oh, that ain’t nothing Rick.
I’d like to stick her rear,
pull out
and
watch her
lick the kernels
right off my stinky-dick.”
They both howled like baboons,
I sat there dumbfounded.
Thank God,
the bus came quick,
those guys
were
freakin’
sick,
I just wanted
to kiss her.

Cheers man.

..some sick bastards on this comp.