Uncertainty

    ƒ♪π∞

Her horns held up her halo.
She spoke to make you cry.
"Well why didn't you just say so?"
She answered every time.
Gone for many hours.
She'd never answer the phone,
I turned into a coward,
whenever she was home.
Though when the night turned empty,
she'd crawl into my arms.
The pain she caused has left me,
and she's back inside my heart.

Certain of Uncertainty

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz8F5_x-Rpg

We’re used to being soldiers.. Now our shoulders are
More chipped than chiseled, and our heart needs a refill
The war split from civil as I start to bleed free will..
Sift through these arteries, a part of me dreams still
Hard to speak, our disease is bargaining cheap thrills
You can capture pictures.. I captivate imagination
You just practice scripture while the passive traits attack a nation
Get them acclimated.. That’s a lame exaggeration
Facts aren’t as fascinating as their latest adaptation
Truth is, there is none.. Certain of uncertainty
Encircling the church.. Shoe fits, their wisdom
Is surfacing as perjury in service to the Earth..
Furthering the serpentine, merciless and worsening
With urgency to work.. First to see the influence
Misuse, and the damage done.. Ripped through
To give you living proof of a planet, judged..
Knowing is contradictory to faith, so we don’t know anything
Of the emptiness of space.. Perspective is everything
In the destiny we face, but our legacy is so menacing
We’ve never reached its place.. Perception is reality
Unless it’s out of callousness, the best depicts a fallacy
Deception is a talent if it’s ending in fatality
“Objection”, “I’ll allow it”.. The rest of it’s invalid.. See?

Copyright © 2013 Travis J Gibbs, The Ant1-Her0 Project

Back to old habits


After dreams like that,
it feels as if my innocence
is shouting accusingly through the years,
her arms wrapped around our favorite bear
and her tiny hand pulling at her hair.

“Why didn't you stop Him?
Why didn't you protect me?”

I plead with her;
“There's nothing I could have done.”

“You should have fought!”

“I was too weak.”

“You should have screamed!”

“There was no one to hear.”

And like a slap in the face;
“You should have TOLD!”

“No one would have believed it,
not coming from me;
they didn't believe me about Sister.”

“It doesn't matter!
Even if no one believed you
He would never have dared do it again!”

…I have no argument;
she takes a step away from me with an exclamation.

I shake my head in preemptive denial
as my fingers wrap around the hair
at the nape of my neck, pulling;
the old habit resurrected
by this collision of eras.

And she says it,
in a hollow tone of betrayal;
“You LET me die.”

My whispered “no” is barely audible
above the tearing sound of hair
roughly separated from the roots.

“You did. You didn't want him to stop loving you.
I bet it made you feel special,
didn't it? As least,
before you found out you weren't the only one.”
Her voice is jeering,
and she shakes her head in disgust.

I make that final yank
and the rush of the pain blots out everything else,
so familiar,
it's as if it had only been a few days,
instead of over a decade and a half,
since I had last succumb
to this particular impulse.
I look down at the departed chunk
of hair and flecks of blood
and let the strands fall between my fingers,
unwinding pleasurably
in long remembered swirls.

I try to use the thrashing endorphins
to look her in the eyes as I respond,
but find I still can't do it;
“That isn't true.”

She smirks humorlessly,
and right before she fades back in time, says;
“Who are you trying to convince?”

Uncertanity ,
It catches me from the time the alarm clock plays a tune on the radio. Do I press snooze, uncertainly kicks my weart half dead brain. What's playing on the radio? I think it's John Denver.
Crawl out of ma' pit slumber, uncertain of what to wear, will these socks do another day, 'cause i've nobody to impress. Uncertain what to have for breakfast , can I be arsed to cook a bacon sandwich, n' eat on the run. Fuck knows, the uncertainly in my brain has made my choice for me . Toast with peanut n' a few slices o' ham. Tasty. That's one thing that I can ge certain off.
Only when I have stepped out side my door.
Does the uncertainly come.
Dont know what other people's uncertainties are . That what makes it so inconclusive when the real ,
Uncertanities are out in the real world out behind the safety of your own door.
Those with uncertainties, Lifes not that bad. 'Cause if you dwell on it too much.
You may end up in a straight jacket.

"Uncertain to Me"


I live for a dream that is holding me back
Been climbin’ over rocks rollin’ over my tracks
I feel like I’m crawling up a hill to nowhere
I look to the past and see that nothing’s there

Whoever I am is uncertain to me
Alone I will be a complete mystery
Wherever I go ain’t on anyone’s map
It’s no small wonder my lives don’t overlap

I’m travelin’ a fine line fear only knows
Darkness emits shadows wherever it goes
A sparse row of fools have been where I tread
Taking refuge that none see the life I’ve led

A silent voice in my head asks who I am
His sly interrogation rebuilds the dam
Free my mind, I don’t like the likes of you
Sullied windows are not easy to see through

The auction was held though my soul went unsold
In the books of my life a playwright has told
But nothing you read will expose the lies
One more lost poet pens regret till he dies


JJ

"Quarter-Life Crisis"


Mom and Dad didn't know
Their mistakes scarred me forever
They never let love show
Or taught me how to be secure
So unsure
Half way to middle age
 
It has gone by too fast
Will the next half pass so quickly?
Can I let go of the past
And the need to write it on this page?
Feeling lost
Half way to middle age
 
Stress ever increases
Confusion reaching everywhere
Tearing me to pieces
So many that I cannot bear
To face facts
Half way to middle age
 
Now I'm twenty years old
And my cards are on the table
I wonder if I should fold
'Cos I feel I am unable
To face life
Half way to middle age


JJ

*This is one of my older poems, it will be 30 years old next month, on my 50th birthday. It's relevent to the competition and just as true now as it was then, which just goes to show the more things change, the more they stay the same...

Surely...not?....by mikimoondancer

My mind takes flight-
seems to have it's own will
Sometimes my heart travels as well

Unsure of my reasons, or
at least of their depths
Wondering if the rewards
are worth all these debts

Wondering, haplessly
stagnant in limbo
Is living this way
what I meant to get into

The pro's and the con's
they change all the time
One moment I'm eager
and the next, I unwind

Misunderstood or perhaps
just ignored
I seem to give my all
then can't take anymore

Or give, or even ask
or question, or reason
How can this last
When I feel so uneasy

The love lends me hope
but the doubt leaves me numb

My presence is eternal
or maybe, I'm done...

“A Desperate Soul”
http://www.internetmonk.com/wp-content/uploads/Uncertainty.jpg
Years of toil
had slowly
eroded
his youthfulness,
the exuberance
he once had
become trapped,
locked in dark crevices
of an anguished-mind.
Reflections of
self-worth had spiraled,
became non-existent.
Tender-hugs that
had once
primed his pump
felt shallow.
He dumped drugs.
For reasons unknown,
he gave up on whiskey
as well.
Maybe he felt
its phony friskiness,
his blood-shot eyes
lied through hot kisses.
For eons,
he had cried
silently inside,
attempts for a cure
were always dire.
Until he met her,
the wonderful one
who
taught him
he was worthy
of all his dreams.
He screamed for his release.
Bound in mystery,
the stark reality remains
a desperate soul.

Hidden under faceless Pictures  

My mind  smashed against
vodka transmitted diseases,
pathological diamonds
glowed doubt into a contextualization,
of death defining  prison inmates
banged up among  faceless
lovers occupying my devouring thoughts.

My minds an astronaut
floating bewilderment into aids infested sewers,
under grounding mid life crises
gnawing those rats,
eating my loved ones brain.

My mind germinates  uncertainty,
boiling vegetating job expectancy
into school children lunch boxes.

Every night concern exhibit
decayed art displays,
creating out of sync portraits.

The kids were starving ?
Wife strangled make up models  
as Cats and  Dogs jumped over millions of moons.
Staring,
trembling,
shivering,
everything grew wings
and nested,
my uncertainty vomited    
inebriated chamomile Teas,
concealing randomly innovating bleakness.    
             

"My minds a parading dollar bill"
"kill kill kill"          
 
   
   


               
     

 
         

       

Does anyone know what became of Jacky? I just noticed she hasn't been on in 8 days. I hope she is alright! The comp ended two days ago...

JJ

i won?
thank you for having me, jacky