Drug Addiction

I've been going through a lot of my old poems and most of them are about heroin addiction. I'm curious to read your best poems on drug/alcohol addiction. Since addicts generally hate following rules, there are no rules for this comp. I just ask that posts be kept to poems and comments about the poems. Thank you.

Gemini

V

I'm so tired i can't breathe.    
Loud knocking, itching, pissing    
on the doors of my memories.    
Repetitive. Unchanging.    
What do you want?    
Well?    
   
Not today, son. Not today.    
   
I embrace the little white dream,    
and wait for the chemical calm    
to warm these homeless    
and collapsing veins.    
Silence. Sinking. Ceiling.    
   
Jagged peaks. Mould.    
The corners unfolded    
with uncertain parallel.    
Flickering between those    
millimetres of indifference.    
Come on, let us fix the edges.    
   
Not today, kid. Not now.    
   
Each day plays out the same scene,    
and i'm so lonely.    
You fuckers still can't leave.    
Eyes glazing.    
Fingers uncurling in the fabric.    
Velveteen.    
Picking at my nails    
with fibrous dysfunction.    
   
Let me love you, son.    
   
There is a deep buzz in my blood.    
A dirty bass pounding,    
beating out a rhythm    
that echoes in my wrists.    
Skin electric. Eyes unswitched.    
Neurotic lullabies.    
   
Lungs.    
   
Calm.  

Wow! Thank you for your contribution, Missy!

Dancing with Death

Painkiller. You come to me in so many ways, so many daze. I laud you as seconal, alcohol, phenobarbitol, brown sugar and more.   So much more,  that I cannot possibly remember all the names given to you by the Empty ones.

But I, I call you painkiller. Tis your divine name and rightly so. As your smoothe lies slide down through my pain, tis your warmth I feel spreading through my veins- and with it  CALM.
Oh, the anticipation of all unwanted thoughts and memories gone as your warmth becomes a burning fire descending down to my soul.

Sweet painkiller, you are my only true friend. You are the God that I pray to. I feel your divine presence only moments after I call your name.

You give and you give and ask for nothing in return accept for my time and unwanted memories. Yet, I seem to give so much more than you ask.  Doesn't everyone. But I don't mind, I give freely.

Oh friend of mine, stay awhile. Wrap yourself round my breast and let me pay reverence to your silent murmurings.

Please never leave me. I say to you "soothe my weary soul, let me find solace in your warm arms until I sleep,  THE SLEEP".

Stay with me and I will share with you all my dirty little secrets that can never be said aloud. The very same secrets that set my soul on fire as they burn through my body unreleased, gobble up my will and disease my mind.

You drop me swiftly into the sweet oblivion of the drugged. There is no other for me. You are lover and friend. With you, I find my world a safe place, a safeness that no other can give me. I surrender myself to your sacred keep. Please hide me in your eternal darkness.

I am yours painkiller. Take me all the way, way, away.

Damn! I liked that Shaunda! Thanks for your entry.

Both poems so far are great!

                             The thorn in my side

Into the flesh, like a thorn in my side
Into the stream like a river running wild
Into the brain like the pain has gone away
Into a different part of me each and every day
But i still feel the rain now the storm is over
And i still feel cold when you open the door
But even your love and your smell of sweet clover
is'nt going to stop me from going to score

                          Down in the gutter
is this the place where i really belong ?
i don't really know, as ive been here so long
everyone looking down as if i am dirt
do they even realise that even i hurt ?
A few bad choices has put me right here
but there's one thing that i want to make clear
there has been helping hands to put me where i am
because its not through choice ive ended up in this jam
so to you people, i'd like to say a few words if i may
fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and have a nice day

Cold Turkey
Poem Image


Nothing prepares you for what is to come
The only thing you will not suffer is total boredom
Because when it starts one thing you can tell
Is that it would be easier to be living in hell
It's gonna be about a week before you get any sleep
You will wish the one with the syth here and beginning his reap
Then start the aches and pains like never before
Wondering if it would have helped if you had nailed up the door
Because your in for a ride, the ride of your life
Another good idea is to hide every knive
Because you may even look to take the easy way out
But you have to keep at it and not even think to pullout
But it's gonna get worse to the end of your wits
Cos now you can't eat anything and you've got the shits
Then come the sweats, the shivvers, the anxiety
And youve locked yourself away from the rest of society
Your only twenty-four hours in but it feels like a week
Back to the toilet, your now on a streak
Cos now its coming out like a river from the upper end
While sweating that shit out of your system, your now on the mend
Starting to feel a bit better after around three days
And if you've lasted that long you deserve a little praise
But at the end of the day, you got yourself into this mess
but now you know you have to see the end of this process
Your body's that tired and you need to get sleep
But it's not happening yet and your starting to weep
The kicks and the sweats at least a little start to subside
And you realise that you can come out the otherside
After seventy-two hours that shit is out of your system
But it's sleep that you need and what you would do for some Vallium
But you catch the odd hour as your body recovers
And you all know what im talking about brothers
Getting opiates out of your system is no easy task
This would be validated by any addict you ask
But if your determined to turn your life around
Then good luck brother on fighting that hellhound

The person you are ringing is either out of reach or has their unit powered off


I wish he'd answer his phone
feel like kicking his door down
but I know
I'd just bounce off it
its not like he doesn't know its me
my number shows up
on his screen
bitches bastards whore

I can almost smell
the dirt burning out of the blob
before it settles down
god I love the taste of that first lungfull
even though it makes me gag
and shudder

I'll try again in a minute
if he doesn't answer  then
imma fuck off somewhere else
and the next time he asks me for a lift
he can fuck off somewhere else too

who am I kidding.

Thank you Wayne (x3) and Lepperochan for your entries. They're powerful writes, guys.

What have I become?

Dont even know myself.

I just want to run,

Wont somebody help?

I just want to scream,

I just want to cry.

Is this all just a Dream?

So fucking empty am I.

My word is all I've had,

Now that, too, is a lie.

I feel so fucking bad,

I'd rather just be high.

The pin tears through my soul,

A scream silenced within.

But I've lost my control,

Another scream begins.

Wish I could fly away,

But broken wings wont fly.

I'm lost in disarray,

I hang my head and cry.

Just cry and cry into my hands,

This person isn't me.

This isn't who I really am,

This isn't who I want to be.

What have I become?

I've lost my will to dream.

I just want to numb,

Myself to everything.

I cant go on like this.

I'll surely kill myself,

Looking for my bliss.

Wont somebody help?

I used to be so proud,

I used to be so free.

Now I search for clouds,

Now I'm just a creep.

I've built up all this pain,

And shot it to the sky,

But I still feel the same,

I wish I could just fly.

Fly away from Me,

And all that I've become.

I no longer want to be,

So comfortably numb.

I want to be me again,

But only find Him in my sleep.

I want to be loved again,

But who could Love a Creep?

What have I become?

I used to be so great.

Wish I could find someone,

To heal all this self-hate.

Wont somebody save me?

Wont somebody try?

Does anyone believe,

That I'm still worth the time?

Heaven At My Door~



Someone gave this Gun to me,

Now i shoot it constantly.

Dont wanna shoot it anymore,

Cause Heaven's knocking on my door.

Dont wanna be this broken Man,

Cant even calm His shaking hands.

Cant put this Gun down, cant you see?

I'm still at War inside of me,

So many wounds disgrace my name,

So many scars that show my shame.

Dont wanna be this anymore,

So close to opening the door.

I'm so tired, so tired of Pain,

So tired of this life I feign.

I wanna change my wicked ways,

Cause at this rate Heaven wont wait.

I've seen good friends just come and go,

Victims of the Guns they'd hold.

They found them cold and all alone,

I cursed the Guns yet kept my own.

Sometimes I shoot myself and cry,

Fall in and out and wonder why.

Why this cold darkness shadows me,

And will I fight it hopeloessly?

Will I fall victim to my Gun,

Never say goodbye to anyone?

Someone take this Gun from me,

Cause It just brings me to my knees.

Cant prey to Gods I dont believe,

This Gun no longer brings relief.

Dont wanna be this broken Man,

Cant even calm his shaking hands.

Cant put this Gun down, Cant you see?!

I'm still at War inside of me.

So many wounds disgrace my name,

So many scars that show my shame.

Dont wanna die slow anymore,

But Heaven's knockin at my door.

I know I should hang up my Gun,

And take it all as damage done,

But Heaven knows that I cant stay away,

And soon will come my shades of Grey......

Cant put it down, why cant you see?!

Somebody Take this Gun from me....

The Underworld

Wrapped up in another animal's skin...

It's the mark
of a savage wonderland,
where meat becomes
the scarce necessity
of keeping yourself...

Punk-tooth is raging
scattering its miserable graffiti
across the back of my neck and skull.

Vermin's got to go!
Beat it down,
beat it down,
beaten down...

You know, the best
thing about this
blue highway
is that you really
don't have to pretend
you are actually
going somewhere.
It doesn't have
to make sense,
especially when
you are feeling
vicious and destructive

On and on
is whatever
it is that
you've got
to do to
get back
and calm
your teeth

FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
And fuck you too

On and on
is a trick
you either master,
or your're gone.
That's how evilution
assures that
the most fucked
up individual
on the planet
will survive.

Hit me baby,
I'm sinking fast.

The stars are more potent
when you are powerless
but to trace along
those same damned
imaginary lines,
and create the same
damn picture
that your forefathers
were convinced
must be real.
It is astro-logical.

Fuck the stars.
What? Me? I'm a leo.
Yeah-yeah-yeah,
just a big ol' pussy cat.
Speaking of,
where'd that girl
go that was sitting
next to me?

I told her what?!?
You know, I am going
to have to quit doing
this shit, if it is
going to keep interfering
with my playtime.

On and on
until all the
lights go out...

Oh well, I've got two
wheels that need some motion.
Well baby, I am not really
going nowhere
without at least a little
bit of risk
Lo what?
Okay, and fuck you,
Lao who?

Dude, what have you
been smoking?
You chanting
and shit like that too?

Crash!
I think not.
We doth not
meditate,
when I can
have a perfectly
good ahhhh--
And if I had not
mixed up the salt
with the sugar,
I could have likely
had a little yum
oh, and oh yeah besides.

On and on,
the trick is
not so much
a cure for falling
as to figuring
out how to get
back up the next day
and do it all again

What was her fucking
name again anyways?
I think the tank
is leaking some of my
vital essences.
NO! I didn't just
piss myself asshole!
I mean...
I don't even remember
what I mean anymore.

This could be like
my afterlife, ya know.
I'm being serious fucker,
stop laughing at me.
I mean, you could be
like a Sibyl...

Well, the jury is still
out on how many of you
are in your head, but
I'm not talking about
the crazy bitch.

I mean like in the Aenid,
and this is our final descent
into the netherworld abyss.
There's no guarantee
that even should you
color inside of the lines,
you're going to get
what you were playing for.

On and on
the subterranean mythos
holds that there
is a world above
everywhere that you
have ever been before.
But the Romans
started digging in deep
when they thought
of the afterlife.

What was that you
has said a moment ago
about letting go?
It's just a lot easier
to make that call,
when all you really got
is on and on.

Uley

Thank you FacePaint, UleyBone, and Bronx Broom for entering. This is already of tough comp to judge. All of you are awesome.

-Gemini