Lost Friend

please write a poem about
losing a friend of yours
one poem per poet
please keep it under 800 words
yep, a wierd limit but im wierd like that

god abandonded me in my time of need
i can never trust again

i find a friend
the bestest kind
i tell her all my thoughts
i share with her all my secrets
ive given her my trust
she moves away
leaving me behind
whatever happened to forever?
i will never trust again

i give them my trust
then i have to ask
whatever happened to forever?
ill never trust again
this happened 12 more times
till i got in 6th grade

same school for 7 long years now
who would ever want to be my friend?
everyone says im cursed
that they dont want to move away
but mean girls just got to be mean
so they kick me
spit on me
im feeled with dread
every morning i wake
then comes along someone who doesnt care
she says she'll be my friend
so touched and moved tears come to my eyes
this is the very bestest kind
soon its christmas break
i am so smiley so diffrent from before
break is over
january has come
its the new year
we were goingto welcome it with a hug
but she didnt come
days past she hadnt come
the bulling started up again
then the teacher came up to the front
on the second week of january
she made an anoucment
my friend was gone
she didnt move
she died
icould hear the people around me
"poor her"
"who was her friend again"
"wait wasnt it her?"
the stares were diffrent
cold
this was terrible
their words were
i dont want to die
they shoved me away
i wish i had died
everyone loved her
i met a girl
someone i detest
but she was the last that ever seemto care
at first she doted
but then called me names
then she hugged
then called me bitch
i did nothing
she hardly ever talked to me
but when she did it always came with a hard slap
but she talked to me
so i was fine
butshe ignored me for to long
so i ignored her
then theres this other girl
who seemed to care
but that ended with an
"I HATE YOU,
I NEVER LIKED YOU
I JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.
YOUR A REAL DOWNER YOU KNOW THAT!!"
and just like that my world was shattered
i will never trust again

the bulling only got worse
when ever some one shoved me i'd kick themin the shins
now they'll keave me alone i thought
but was i ever more wrong
girls talked about me
such rude things they said
and some spoke loudly or softly right in front of me
the guys wanted a piece of me
but i beat them every time
i will never trust again

finally 7th grade
new people
i should be fine
making friends should me easy
4th day of school
crossing the road
helping a cat along
when boom!
i wake up 3 months later
i was hit by a truck
now how do i go back?
i will never trust again

i go back
everyones in clicks
no im doomed!!
a girl shows me around
id completey forgotten everything
she says we should be friends
i say okay
i think her name was abbie
i tell her of me curse
she says dont worry
i just moved in
we're not moving any time soon
a week goes by
when she comes up behind me
she says she moving
that she felt horrible
i will never trust again

ive lined myself with some really crappy friends
no not friends
if i say that they'll move away
i never learn
but this time i promise
i will never turst again

I knew it when you said it
When you spoke those fateful words
When you let a part of yourself free
For me to catch and keep in my pocket.
Those self destroying words you spoke,
The ones that keep everyone away.
I dont have a lot friends, actually to be exact
I have two and one lives in my head.
I could have more, but they always end up
Telling me those words that shouldnt be said.
The instant it passes their lips, its like a spell
Takes over them, and they realize that im boring
Now that they know me. They leave me in my own personal hell.
Trying to figure out where i went wrong.
How did i lead you to say this?
I tried to be annoying but endearing,
Frustratingly sweet, bitchy and kind,
Rough but gentle.
Yet, still you said those words, i hate those words.
Now that you've said it our friendship is gone
I know because you havent said a word to me for weeks
And we used to talk everyminute of everyday
Why did you have to say those words?
Now im open and broken again,
Bleeding from a wound thats been cut too many times.
It was worse this time, because i realized i felt the same towards you.
I said those words to you. Now you are gone
And i am depressed. Those words, those terrible
Words are
I
Love
You.

Alright.. I wrote this poem for my greatest and most caring friend.. my Uncle Daniel

Eighteen.

Massacred blood on a orange horizon
Roadkill shows like cherubs in my floodlights
Another highway, another state Cigarette burns me
I wake with a start '18 wheels are rolling, rolling over my heart'
Smokeys in my rear view mirror
Nowhere to go except forward Kessler warmed abdomen

Oh.. feeling so numb.. straight to my core, into my bone marrow
Stillness has swept over me.. 18 wheels are rolling..
over my heart CAT steel toe heavy on the pedal
Tire iron in my hand Blood clotted scarred emotion Hand axe redecoration
Regurgitated cattle cranium Asleep in bile, nutured by mother
Face down while babies lay still,
Never make a sound demolished rig

The 18 wheeler charges at me, my shitty little holden
I swerve in panic, but i'm drunk as fuck.
God damn, connection, head on, the 18 wheeler hurdles over me
Fucking crushed.. my alcohol is shattered
The first wheels surrond me, and crush me into oblivion
Fuck.. why so slow? it fucking hurts..

My bottles of Jack Daniels and Southern Comfort.. thrown around
Feeling oh so numb.. blood I feel surging up through me
Flattened.. shattered.. the 18 wheels have rolled over my heart
Lacerations cover me.. wounds spluttering their wept blood
Stained to the core, in blood and loose oils
I cannot breathe, I see only blackness, staring into the abyss

This death, of monster size of mankind creations.. 18 wheels..
18 wheels.. 18 wheels.. I count as they singly crush me.
I fade away.. into the darkness of the abyss..
My life struggles surge over me, for only a moment, but all at once
And now.. I lay here.. I fucking cease to be...
I'm covered to my core, stained in loose oils, alcohol and blood

Rest in peace.. Uncle Daniel..

Because of Me

The guilt and regret won't leave my mind as I enter this church for you
All our memories keep swirling through my brain as I sit here on this wooden pew.
I can't bring myself to talk about you; when asked I say I have just one sister
For the pain I feel when I think of you burns within me like a thousand boiling blisters.
I wish I could still say I had two sisters, that I wasn't always the family's "baby"
If only I had been braver and stronger back then, maybe, just maybe,
You, baby sister, would still be here, and I never would've had to say goodbye
But instead I'm at your funeral, and I know it's my fault you're here...I'm the one who let you die.
As your small casket passes by, I can't stop the quivering sobs, or the stream of tears
And my mind forces me again and again to relive that day, like a never ending nightmare.
You were five at the time, and I had just turned eight
We'd been through many foster homes, some halfway decent, others not so great.
But this house was worse than the others; the people were crueler, the beatings more severe
I should've done something in the beginning, maybe begged our workers to take us far away from here.
Yet I did nothing, but instead tried to prepare you for the agonizing days to come
I told you to expect more empty stomachs, and beatings that would leave us numb.
For though I knew this house was worse, I thought we'd survive the same way
We'd listen to the yelling, endure the pain, and hope that tomorrow would be a better day.
Until the day came where our foster father decided to prove me oh so wrong
The day he beat you just a little too much, for just a little too long.
You had tried to take some food from the pantry, for the stomach pains were finally too much to bear
But you were caught by him, and he didn't listen to your pleading or begging, for he simply didn't care.
I thought it was just another beating, and so I stood waiting in the shadows in the hall
I didn't want to make it worse, or get beat myself, so I watched even as he threw you against the wall.
Over and over he beat you with with his fists, and with his belt
And still I waited, praying he'd stop soon, so I could attend to your bruises and your welts.
But he was not himself, but high off of one of the many drugs he had in his secret room
And as the minutes dragged by, I began to feel overwhelmed by a sense of doom.
When his hand reached for the wooden bat his son used for baseball, my heart stopped
I screamed at him, but still watched helplessly as the bat quickly dropped.
I can still hear it in my ears, the crack of the bat as it smashed against your head
I can still see it with my eyes, the sight of your blood splattering against the wall, painting it dark red.
As others saw what had happened and dragged him away, I ran to you, but no matter how hard I tried
I couldn't wake you up, and finally had to admit, that my little sister had just died.
And so here I am, weeks later, staring at your lifeless body, wishing that I could once again see those beautiful blue eyes
Unable to block out all the sorrow and pain, while wondering over and over why.
Why did I do nothing to save you, why did I give in to my fear
This regret is something I know I'll have to live with for the many upcoming years.
With tear filled eyes and a broken heart, I tell you I'm sorry, give you one last kiss, and slowly walk away
Praying that perhaps I'll be forgiven, so that I may see you again in Heaven one day.

Letting Go

Letting go is the hardest thing to do
Especially when someone is long acquainted with you
Reminiscing about obstacles you both have been through
But now is the time to accept what is true
I've tried to hold on but I'm losing my grip
I'm ready to release no accidental slip
Drama is a weight I'm ready to lift
My problems become smaller as they continue to drift
Go our seperate ways and never look back
No conversation no time to interact
You're just going to have to come to terms with the fact
That you've jeopardized our bond and our pact
Misery loves company but you can't stay with me
I've done been through it all I ran out of vacancy
To make a long story short what I'm trying to say basically
Finally I'm letting go and grabbing my destiny

he was like a brother
he was family to me
he was my partner in crime literary
got cot red handed we stood side by side
are luck
this comp got me reminiscing
memories now need forgotten
the laughs the time weld spent
now in vain
friend no more  
my last visit
brotherhood shun
i knew it was a bad idea to ask for his blessing
his sis hearth broken that was her fault, doing what she did
missing does moments does talks when we are down
missing the crimes
the count stayed at 4grand
missing skate day
missing Friday movie day
missing a friend,that no more
no its just me and this memories
o and the ghetto minded kids
pretending to be a friend......

i know this doesn't sound like a poem
but its the first time letting this out
suck when you loose a friend you grew up with..

FRIENDS

The word FRIEND has changed over the years

Once it was MEANT for people CLOSE to you

Now there are FACEBOOK friends...some of which I have NEVER MET

They are like my GENEALOGICAL family...many of which I also never met

When I grew up - we all knew - exactly who - EVERYONE was

Just on our street alone, they were PEOPLE THAT WE KNEW

Now I do not KNOW who lives NEXT DOOR

At work the word FRIENDSHIP is to be used CAREFULLY

For she will STAB-YOU-IN-THE-BACK mercilessly

If she can GET AHEAD that way


When I was a little girl - my first real friend came along when I was 12

Some of my school friends have been FRIENDS all my life

Other friendships expire after college, after graduate school

New friendships are forged when you get MARRIED

Your children's mothers will be friends with YOU

DIVORCE is the great DIVIDE

Some stay with you, some with the OTHER side


As your socioeconomic world changes, so do your friends

They have done studies and found that people have fewer friends

NOW - than any time in history

Many reasons are suggested - mobility, society....

It comes down to this

In the WESTERN WORLD...you cannot get lonelier than NOW

With all our COMMUNICATION devices...we talk all day

We SEEM to be SURROUNDED by people

It is an illusion for when we get home

There are NO PEOPLE...only pets, faithfully waiting for their master to come home.

My Lost Friend

I knew you when we were in kindergarten
I borrowed your crayon
The blue one
Remember?
You cried

We went together to our primary school
You carried my books
My big school bag
It was so heavy
You staggered

We went together to high school
I held you when your nose bled
When the bully hit you
For defending me
We hugged

We went together to the university
We studied far into the night
We were always together
Explored each other
Avid lovers

We graduated and drifted apart emotionally
But we promised to be always friends
We said goodbye in tears
Through our sad smiles
We said our farewell

Today I say my last farewell to you my friend
I lost you to women wine and drugs
As I put this yellow roses
On your grave
I wonder

Was our parting the cause of your downfall?
From a cheerful, good and happy man
To a ruthless corrupt drug pusher
Living high through crime…
I will never know

On the day we parted ways, our voices were at war.
The sky was crying with me.
The thunder screamed in place of my heart.
But yet we continued, till we tore all that we ever had.
All that we cherished for 3 years were gone in 1 day.
How did it ever get to this?...
I couldn't sleep, that night when both our phones were silent.
I waited for 2 days, then a week then 4.
But yet you never showed up at school anymore.
I couldn't take it, the fact that it ended like this.
So i went to your house with your favorite sweets.
But when your sister answered the door,
Red eyed and in black, i prayed to God to not let it be.
One by one, those colourful packets dropped to the ground.
They broke open and scattered, just like in my heart.
Each for the memories of us together that flashed through my mind.
When you first pushed me into that pool and my phone got wrecked.
When you held my hand and helped me face my fears.
When you held me tight when I just couldn’t face the world anymore.
When you told me that no matter what happened, we’d always be together.
When you promised me that you would never do anything to hurt me.
When you swore that you weren’t going anywhere, anytime soon…
My breath stopped and tears ran uncontrollably,
When she told me i was 3 weeks late for the funeral.
At that moment, i just lost it.
I collapsed and just cried.
I sat there long after the door had shut,
Long after the rains had gone,
Long after the sun had set.
You knew you were dying, that’s why you couldn't say it.
Those 3 words that we knew so well, but never spoke,
So you chose to push me away instead.
As soon as I knew, i wanted to yell to the heavens.
For you to know how much of an asshole you were.
To end it like THIS, just wasn't fair...
I cry when someone says your name.
I hoard all the things you left behind.
Would you be at peace when you knew I was like this?
But the thing that brought me the most pain,
Is the pain you probably felt when you forced yourself to break my heart…

friend?

prior to your leaving
the title friend was bestowed upon you
looking back now
I realize how meaningless
the word friend has become
and how holding on
is heinous

Croissant

we let it thread to veil
where light avow
those trivial crossing

stacks and layers
to chunked accumulation
walling between us

mould to the shape
of partial-eclispe
two ends sees eye to eye

baking in friction
from the ignition
our erratic medley ignites

to crisp golden
alluring warm glow
fragility in a bite

Every step you take towards your goal
Draws you away from me
I'm not just that self-righteous friend
I'm only concerned about your soul

I know that zeal
You use to keep it real
Working so hard to get your meal
But never where you negative

We was born with little
But prostituting can never be a way out
I fringe in fear when I stare into the dark
Every night you stay out

You're so lost my friend
I look at you as you tiredly sleep
You won't change so I'm dropping notes and moving on
Cos I know exactly how this will end

...