The Moment Before

- 2 weeks
- old or new
- however many entries you want
- title
- doesn't have to be morbid. if you wish, the poem can end with the person deciding not to kill themselves after all. I also don't care about the gender of the person, how they're killing themselves, etc. Let your imaginations run free

Have fun...if you can

Scars and Suicide

An agonizing cry pierces through the cold, dead night
He cowers in a dark room holding his knife with all his might.
His hands quiver as they curl into tight fists
Arms burn as blood flows from his cut up wrists.
There's so much pain, anger, and strife
He's sick and tired of living this tormented life.
His hands are scarred from always punching his door
All he feels like doing is cutting, cutting, and cutting some more.
He's too familiar with seeing his own blood
Even now it pours out of his wounds like a slow dark flood.
Every tug results in more red tears
Every cut strips away more suffering, more fears.
Soon all that's left is a hollow, scarred shell
His body burns as if he'd been thrown into the fiery pits of hell.
He feels trapped, stuck in a bind
His room spins, he's starting to lose his mind.
"You're just no good" he tells himself with a frown
It's your own damn fault that you're feeling down.
He puts the grey steel once more against his wrist, it feels cold
Suddenly he feels fine, even a little bold.
He tugs with a confidence that he didn't have before
Ground rushes up to meet him as he hits the floor.
He sees the pool of blood stain the white sheet
Feels quite calm as his heart slowly stops to beat.
He lets go of his knife, lets out a relieved sigh
Closes his eyes and finally whispers goodbye.

Lost Control

Fear spreads through me as the familiar rage begins to overtake me
If only people knew what was happening, if only they could see.
But no one recognizes the signs, the tremors in my body, the darkening eyes
No one sees the monster inside me; no one hears my desperate cries.
The monster is back, bloodthirsty as ever, desiring to cause even more pain
Every time he comes out, I lose more of myself, become more and more insane.
He takes over, binds me with his hate, and locks me away
I never know how long he’ll imprison me for, whether a few hours or the whole day.
Someone, anyone, I beg you, please, hear my cries, come and set me free
Just release these shackles; can’t you see that this is not who I want to be?
I try my hardest to win control, but his hatred crushes my will
For he’s stronger now; I can sense this time he has intent to kill.
The only thing I feel is the burn of his many cuts over my exposed veins
He said he just wants to help, and that this is the only way to stop the real pain.
In desperation to stop the internal pain, I believe him and his web of lies
As he holds the knife out to me, I realize he’s just helping, he’s truly quite wise.
With determination in my eyes, I take the knife from him and make a tighter fist
And like a skilled artist, create new bloody designs that flow from my cut up wrists.
It drips down like gentle rain, and forms a dark puddle on the floor
In my head, I hear my monster sweetly whispering to me “that’s it, just a little more”.
Like a student desperate to please his master, I begin to slice faster and deeper
This whole time, it’s felt like I was climbing a hill…but suddenly that hill seems steeper.
My arms burn, legs become weak; I try to move but slip on something slick
As I look around, I see a red floor, and realize I lost a lot of blood, and lost it too quick.
I feel tired, all I want to do is just lay here on the floor, and get some rest
As I start to drift away, I realize that maybe this cutting idea wasn’t the best.
I can feel the fire beginning to fade, replaced with an icy feeling that’s spreading fast
I feel betrayed, for I believed my lie that by doing this I would find peace at last.
Instead I feel nothing but regret, and an overwhelming sense of fear
For it has finally dawned on me that I went too far, it’s too late, now my end is here.
My eyesight dims, breathing becomes labored, head starts to pound
With frantic eyes, I look for my monster to help me, but he’s nowhere to be found.
He’s gone, no longer inside me; his lust is finally satisfied after all these long years
I’m alone now; no monster here, only a blood stained knife and a pool of red tears.
My strength is gone; I finally lost the fight against my depression and sorrow
I fall into the shadows of darkness, never again to wake to another tomorrow.

Goodbye

I leave behind my eyes  
 eyes that only saw fairy tales  

I leave behind my hair  
hair that hungered  
 for a lovers hands to run through it  

I leave behind my skin  
skin that yearned to be caressed  

I leave behind my smile  
of which was so bright  
 when I thought of better days  

I leave behind my hands  
hands that reached out  
 and were never taken  

But I cant leave behind my heart  
because the damage is far  
 more than can be repaired  

And I cant leave my strength  
because I have lost it all  

I cant do this anymore  

 Goodbye  

Death In The Dawn    

I sit alone
a mere memory
without a real home
in a used to be
a body no bones
no stability
out of my safe zone
in alien infamy .

Your feelings are gone
underneath the leaves
I am but a song
a used to be
a none entity
in purgatory
my world torn from me
so scornfully
the dead they wait
they wait
n the
dawn for me .

I call to the sky
as I fall
through deaths eye
in a state
of well why
you do tell all
but I
fabricated up
lies
for I waited
and cried
devastated
I sigh
so ill fated
I fly .

away from here
away from you
if  I stay I fear
all I will lose
that I hold so dear
as I did you
I cover my ears
so I don't  hear
the news .

I call to the sky
as I fall
through deaths eye
in a state
of well why
you do tell all
but I
I cover my ears
so I don't  hear
the news .
away from here
I need to get
away from you .

If you reaally knew

One can only take so much from this miserable life
As I stare at my reflection in the knife that was my only friend all these years
The cuts of pain brought relief to my aching heart
The only love i recieved, was from this cold knife piercing my skin over and over again
This world has no use for a worthless creature like me
Noone wants love a miserable, misunderstood girl that could never be helped
Someone who cares too much
Someone who loves too hard
Only to be cruely shattered into nothingness
But I was already nothing
So what comes after that?
I bit back on my anger, My feelings never shown
Hidden behind a mask of indifference, Easily seen by anyone
But noone cared enough to remove it and see the real pain behind it
To look deep into my brown pools of despair.
Noone knows what its like to be defeated
Not like me
To know pain and suffering
Like me
To know the wounds in my skin arent could never compare to the ones embedded in my very soul
And so
I guess this is the end
The moon casts a beautiful light
Shinning so brightly even in this tragedy thats about to occur
But only the moon would see it
Only the light upon my withering body would care
Even if someone did love me
I have been alone anyway
I would have felt so lonely even if anyone was right beside me
Because noone understands
If you reaally knew me..
You might have understood
But i doubt anyone could feel what rages in my heart
Dont cry for me
Dont be sad for me
Ive been miserable all this time
What good would shedding any tears be now?
I thank you for caring
Well, atleast wanting to
But its too late now
It wouldnt make a difference anyhow
My heart is too deprived from love to go on any longger
Uve been chained to my despair for so long
I just want to be free
Released from myself
Please..
Please let me go
i cant take your pain with me
Its too much to bare
I cared for so many but it was never shared
Not one tear was wiped from my eyes
Not one hug
Not one hand
Was given to me, to comfort me
Even if i cried for help
Noone would have answered
Noone would listen
Noone would help me
The cutting, The burning
it was never enough
I know you hate me
Who doesnt
My life was all a life
A waste of breath that was given to me
All smoke and mirrors
I wont be apart of this act any longer
I say goodbye to chained walls
Goodbye to a never ending misery
And hello to a glorious freedom
Their is nothing for me here
Noone to love
Noone to share my heart with
Maybe they are where im heading
One can only hope
I stare 6 feet from my demise
I know that you would of wanted me to die
Because lets face it
Everyone was heartless to me
I finally realise that now
As i edge closer
Standing on the edge of the cliff, knife in hand
I close my eyes to  imagine a better world than this one
A sigh escapes me as the wind caresses my face
Like an urge to go on
And so i say
goodbye

"click"
says the steel
as the hamster wheel in his head hardly registers
what happens next
as the chamber pulls back hammer strikes spark
the first bullet whizzes past his head
his eyes move insanely
he takes in the sights around him
with a buzzing in his ear
wondering why he moved it to point half an inch away
he repositions the muzzle cocks the gun
"click"
says the steel
as its replied hundreds of times before
each time tears came to his eyes
and he cried
thinking of what he had lost there was nothing here for him anymore
lost in this cycle
of near attempts
almost ods
vacantly he stares at the wall
once filled with smiles
and stands up drops the gun
walks around the hall
investigating the now empty house
that once housed all he loved before death took them
in one swift stroke
if only he had known
been there to protect them
as he collapsed to the floor
knowing the cycle will only continue and picks up the gun once more
this time hand stays steady...
"poor guy"
says the EM
"yeah, he lasted so long i don't know how he lasted so long"
the conversation goes back and forth
"Missed his brain completely"
"must of took hours to bleed out"
and the story unravels
"he lost his entire family"
"in those murders a few years ago"
he was at a business trip far away
when the monster broke in
set it up as a suicide homicide
he say exactly where his body would have been...
in its place

Thanks for your entries, everyone! They're turning out terrifically!

Guess Who

It's late at night
and I know your
out of town.

I park miles out
in the woods
so my car
wont be found.

As I make my way quitley
to your back door.

I easily break in
because I know your alarm
doesnt work anymore.

I fix everything back in place
just like it was,
then I go through
your pictures that you still
have of us.

I set them all up
around your chair,
while I drink your
wiskey knowing you
will soon be there.

I tie the rope tight
to the door and the trigger,
of the 12 guage I bought you
Im sure you will remember.

I see your headlights come
down the driveway
as I take my last drink,
as you walk to the
back door Im starting
to think.

What will you do
when you here this big sound,
and see my brains splattered
all around.

as the knob turns slowly
im starting to sweat,
fearing the pain
I know I going to get.

The door opens fast
with a great big sound,
as you walk in you
see my head hanging down.

You scream out loud
WHAT HAVE I DONE!
and I died knowing
that you killed your son.

Don't Pretend.

You have no way of knowing
what the view is like from here.
Down the barrel of this pistol,
I swear I'm seeing clear.

You hate me for me,
the most honest thing you've done.
Now we can lie about the end,
I'll pretend you haven't won.

I've given up inside,
but I'm pretending to be strong.
Like when we were little,
begging only to be tall.

Now I'm begging for apologies,
and you're pretending it's a joke.
But dear, this game is over....
Now you must play alone.

hmm well it's not really about suicide it's more about depression but here goes.

SHADOW CALLED MELANCHOLY

Ever get stricken with a sudden bout of sadness
A long lost friend creeping up from the recess
of your mind a poison overcoming your senses
flesh melted from your bones leaving you defenseless

of the darkness that will take control of you
his name is depression come by to see you
hello there shadow of nothing
i can see you came here for something

you wish to take that of wich i cannot give
collect that small ball of sunshine, like it's your prerogative
you dare deprive me of that freedom
to live, i am a slave in your kindom

you breath that dark cloud of fire
and i remember my place, for you run this empire
Many miles, and great oceans of the sickness
spreads through my body with a quickness

creepers creep, and losers weep
im held down in chains in the dragon's keep
this giant mound of eternal emptyness
i beg and plead! please i must insist upon this

give me one day of happiness just one more
a warm sensation spread from my core
The light flashes bright and the dark fades away
I still see traces of your shadow waiting to come out on another day...

another one, more focused on self harming tendency but could be interpreted as maybe giving into the thoughts of suicide. Here goes nothing...

SWEET RETCHED TEMPTATION

i meant it when i said to stay away
i was done with you for good
but for the first time i gave in today
i honestly never thought i would

i swear it i didnt miss your familiarity
the shame and guilt you cause
giving your 'services' out like some fucking charity
for those few seconds my life was on pause

damn you i say, with your unique beauty
i gave in to temptation again this evening
i should have turned you away, you are my enemy
you leave me broken and grieving

i just wanted a little taste of the drug
to be lost in the grey of your world, your lair
deeper and deeper you dug
underneath my skin like you belonged there

i say this apology now to those betrayed
i've fallen again with many regrets
i told lies through my smiles and conveyed
a false sense of being, this is among many of my regrets

Ding Dong, The Bitch Is Dea- Oh, Wait, That's me. ~_~



My clothes whip against the wind
As I fall to my death, pretend I have wings.

There's a gun in my hand, now its at my head..
Put these brains against the walls, this blood soaks the bed..

There's a chisel in my chest, I couldn't find a knife.
I stand in the street, the car takes my life.

Let's play a game, it's called chainsaw juggle,
They watch as my blood makes an oozy puddle.

The chain is lowered, I'm dipped in the oil.
My skin is burning, it's starting to boil.

I stick a screwdrivcer in the electric socket.
My better sense yell for me to stop it.

But I can't, because it's to much fun
To put my life in mortal harm.

But nothing hurt quite as much,
As the broken heart you gave me, you slut.

So I swallow the cyanide, my mouth starts to foam.
Breath in the monoxide, as I pick up the phone.

To call my ex.
She asks if I'm fine.
I start to speak, but I die on the line.

Hey you there its me death

Hey!!
Hey you! yeah you you remember me!
Im all that build of Pain, anger stress and anxiety!
You thought you had a life without me
But you never even had a life with me!
You should off yourself right now!
Ooh theirs a gun il do it myself and take you with me
What are you shedding tears for!?
You were gonna die anyway!
Im just gonna make the process alittle faster
So go ahead, wipe those tears away!
I dont see why your crying noone every gave a crap about you!
Except me and that razor you have so perfectly in the bandana thats around you!
I cant believe that you thought i would go away after all this time!
You could never run from me! im  all in your head ive been there forever in your mind!
Look at me! look at your reflection in the mirror! yea you see that! this life is mine
As well, So say your last goodbyes
Because the bullet from this gun is gonna be our demise!
Alright, lets see, I dont know which part its in
But we'l find out sooon enough, its not like russian roulette nobody will win!
Hey do you wanna write a note to Mommy and Daddy?
Put down that pen! They didnt give a crap about you theyre too busty being happy!
poor souls, dont even realise theyre really in misery
Oh well, theyll learn soon enough after what theyre about to see...

Where be Death

Where be death
Seek me now
You with the scythe
Your robed figure
Do appear
Hold I in my hand
This knife so sharp
To bleed my heart
To drain my soul
Come to me death
The hour draws near
Let me not tarry
Come now I plea
My blood flows
My heart is stopping
There you are
I could not wait longer
Where be I taken?