Tainted Love

Still Loving you

I love you
but I look at him
I want you
but I lust for him
I need you
But I ache for him
I live for you
But I fantasize with him
I love you.
Always.

Oh the Stars

Oh the stars,  
I watched them own you
while we stood moving mountains
the cap slipped,
and the truth drowned the drought
 
Rue the day I met you,
cast my net around your words,
thanked the skies
and for what?
A basket case of well-rounded lies
 
Oh the moon,
I watched her own you
while I stand alone dying
the cap slipped,
and I caught your profound lying
 
Constant bellowing of the underlying
moving about my sheets
Sorry I can't stand the heat
but I could handle the sun
when your love wasn't overrun  
By oh the stars  
 
Obscene trailing behind
pieces of you, I find
like tiny crumbs of hazardous heart
The mountains cautiously set apart
what I call, the rising.

Thanks to everyone that's written so far. An interesting variety for me to choose from x)

Surrogate

The desire they held for each other
was not supposed to be.
The appetite i had for them
was insatiable for me.
I was a willing participant,
a surrogate of sorts,
i let them use my body
for their licentious sports.
While he refused to touch her body
and she dare not touch his
my own was not restricted
to either of these twins.
Each had me while the other watched,
imagining together
until the day their shame crept in
and broke our bond forever.
Can you really blame a girl
for submitting to her desires
particularly when those involved
are quenching their own fires?

no ring on third finger,
   but i am married.

I have not seen her,
   or made love
   in some time,
      even the marks left like tracks
      on inner arms
   have almost healed.

but no day in,
    day out
       flirtation with stability,
       or even happiness
    could lead me astray.

i remember her mothers milk,
     her warmth
     her all encompassing
        ability to allow
           my forgetting,
           and then
         all is forgiven.

and i will awake,
      sicker than dis-ease,
      legs locked
          itch inside skin,
      begging,
          and pleading
          for her affection,
      stealing,
          even from my family
          to feed on her kiss.

demonic goddess,
       small pulped bulb,
           vinegar, and some other chemicals
            in middle eastern hide out.
       back alley,    
           chapel of discarded hypodermics,
           crushed underfoot paving the path
                 to purgatory
                         padded
                 at least,
                 for now.

my love i pray,
        you dont
        but do,
            destroy me
            too soon.

Just big lies
It's only three
The ones that you
Always told me

First you said
"I love you"
But why can't I
Feel love from you

It tears my soul
And with such ease
You slowly turned
Your back to me

The second was
"I wont hurt you"
But here's my heart
You stabbed it through

With so much ease
You have left me
On the cold floor
Just crying

Then the third
It's "I'm sorry"
But if you did
I'd know because

If it was real
I'd heal right then
And love you still
Yet you didn't mind

You just hurt me
For the last time
I'm moving on
And you will see

I'm better off
Without you, see
My soul is free
From your grasp

Goodbye you fool
I win at last

I Would Take It Back...


I can't believe we had A N O T H E R fight
I don't know how we will ever make this right
We say mean things to each other in spite
I dread coming home to your screams tonight

Slowly pulling in my driveway is when
An eerie feeling comes across my skin
Chills creep up my spine quivering my chin
Something feels wrong from deep within

Walking to my door, I tremble with the key
I'm late, will I get the third degree
Something inside is telling me to flee
What I will find there is no guarantee

I open the door and everything is still
The silence inside is deafening and shrill
I look down and see an out of place pill
To take another step is against my will

I put down my purse and take off my shoes
This place smells like stale air and booze
I turn on a light, he must have blown a fuse
I told him before that's not a plug to overuse

I turn the corner with a great feeling of dread
Oh good, he is sound asleep on top the bed
Ugh, I wonder if the animals have been fed
...what the fuck is that all over his head

I squint my eyes and closer I inch
What in the world is that God awful stench
It smells like iron, and I give my nose a pinch
"Is that blood", I say allowed with a flinch

What in God's name did you do to your face
I am so confused and my heart starts to race
My mind can't process, it can't keep up the pace
Oh God, the gun! Why is out of it's case?

What did you do? What have I done?
Should I call the police, or turn and run?
Do you feel like you have finally won?
You got the last word with the use of your gun

This wasn't to happen, not supposed to occur
Just another meaningless threat, another slur
I can't breathe, I can't see, everything's a blur
The alternative was you leaving, this you prefer?

How could you possibly think this would be better?
You didn't even say goodbye or leave me a letter
I am not surprised you wore your favorite sweater
When you decided to life you would become it's debtor

What do I do now, what do I tell our babies
That you ran off with a whole bunch of ladies
Maybe that you died from a dog that had rabies
Or that daddy chose to leave you for Hades

I can't believe you did this, I am in so much despair
You ended your life because you thought I'd no longer care
I still loved you, I was just angry I swear
Now it is too late, no time to fix our error

I would take it all back if it'd save your life
I wouldn't fight you anymore I would stay your wife
I would make sure that we no longer lived in strife
I would never hurt you again for all of your life

He Say's; She Say's


She says:  
Too many times you've hurt me  
You've let me down too much  
Anger and resentment  
I hold to like a clutch  

I'm trying to say we're over  
It's too late for us now  
I hate going back on  
The words we called a vow  

He says:  
I can't believe you'd do this  
You are not making sense  
I love you, I need you  
This is my defense  

You promised you'd always be here  
To see this through the end  
You said you'd always love me  
Forever we would spend  

She says:  
I love you greatly  
You know I'm not wrong  
I gave you everything I had  
While you strung me along  

You took me for granted  
Thought I'd never leave  
You were mistaken for this  
Not right to perceive  

He says:  
Please don't go  
I won't give up the fight  
Give me one more chance  
You deserve I make this right  

I know I wasn't good to you  
Clearly now I see  
I wasn't your everything  
That you needed me to be  

She say's:  
It is too late for your efforts  
I begged for them for years  
Asked you to give a fuck  
I cried so many tears  

Physically you've been here  
But mentally you've been gone  
I tried for years to talk to you  
You'd get angry and stay withdrawn  

He say's:  
I see the error of my ways  
I swear to you I've changed  
Please stay, don't make me leave  
I can't stand if we're estranged  

Thirteen years and three kids later  
Don't they deserve a chance  
Think of what you're doing to them  
Did you think of this in advance  

She say's:  
How dare you use the kids like that  
Look what you've done to them  
No stability or security  
It's not me you should condemn  

For us to be happy  
Is the thing that they deserve  
To not live in this Hell we made  
The fighting they observe  

He say's:  
I can't go on like this  
My life I can't continue  
If you leave me I swear  
My carotid I will cut in two  

You are my life you see  
You are my whole existence  
I refuse to accept this fate  
Can't you hear my persistence  

She say's:  
You're being dramatic  
Put down the knife  
You won't really do it  
You won't end your life  

Why are you walking toward me  
You're making me nervous  
I'm calling the police  
Why can't I get any service  

He say's:  
You wanted to end this  
I'm doing what you asked  
I'll do you first then on to me  
I promise to make is fast  

Don't struggle my dear  
Oh please don't start to scream  
Who is being dramatic now  
Must it be this extreme  

She say's:  
I love you I love you  
I swear I do  
I'm sorry I'm sorry  
We can work this through  

You were right, I was wrong  
I don't know what I was thinking  
Let's talk tomorrow  
When neither of us have been drinking  

He say's:  
It's too late for you to beg  
I have already decided  
A deal with the devil  
The knife he provided  

You're lying on the floor  
There's way too much blood  
I can't believe I didn't know  
How much it would flood  

He say's:  
Stop making that sound  
Why are you choking  
What have I done  
Your clothes they are soaking  

Open up your eyes  
Why are they closing  
I can't hear you breathe  
Stop your fucking posing  

He say's:  
I can't believe I killed you  
I can't believe your dead  
What do I do now  
I am filled with so much dread  

I guess it's my turn now  
Wasn't that the deal  
It's the only way out  
For my heart to ever heal

i like this

Will the smile
ever reach the eyes
of the one who said
they love
when all they realy wanted
was to play
with the feelings
that you gave away
on a plate

The perfect 10


What would happen if I saw her one day;
I would invite her in for their was something I had to say. 
Your hair is beautiful like a waterfall;
For her to be in nature after all. 

You eyes remind me of a cloud that I once saw;
It was a big fluffy heart shape that left me in awe. 
Your face is a fancy as a rose made from lace;
One of a kind that can't be replaced. 

Your curve of your neck, and shoulders remind me of heavens arch;
Only the angels that can touch as they march. 
Your breast as ample and firm as the forbidden fruit;
For they are ones I feel that their can't be a substitute. 

Your outline is as perfect as the hour glass of time;
To be this perfect should almost be a crime. 
Your legs are long and not like an elf;
They go all the way up, and make an ass out of them self. 

Your hands so soft as a newborns skin;
To have that natural silk should be a sin. 
Your heart that beats the life you keep;
I have heard it a thousand times as you sleep. 

Your mind; not sharp, or full of wit;
This is when it turn to shit!
You have played me as if I was a fool;
You've been like this since high school. 

I thought we were really great to me;
Only to realize you were really a friendemy. 
You took my love and a abused what I had;
I was a lot, and not just a tad. 

You used me to feel your need;
If I needed your help; you would've watched me bleed. 
I was always there to pick you up when you fell;
Then after all of I done; you put me in this hell. 

I should have read the book before seeing the cover;
Then all of this I would have uncover. 
Next I felt your heart to stone;
Your beauty was only skin deep, but
Your ugly to the bone. 

Yes, I know we all have are flaws;
It was always when you wanted something I would get calls.
No; no need to for you to apologize;
Only your beauty was your disguise.

So if your ever looking for the perfect ten;
Take your time; read the book from beginning to end. 

Desert Rose

Blood stained bright hues starkly piercing
those occasional travellers gasping thirsty ,

Doomed not you are, to delight those weary eyes,
nor be a cynosure of a vibrant young muse of vase,

Damned destiny to gaze those dreary mounds
of undulating sand dunes, blessed with a drop-less shower,

Drooping daily, still glances earnestly at her Sun Love,
Smiling her petallous heart, bearing hot diurnal shrivels,

Wilting beauty withholding hopes, dry fast to a daring death !
Smiling Sun is not Yours, He smiles at infinite roses of Universe,

Rain yourself copiously by your springing tears of inner tides,
Strip yourself merrily, shedding each metallic shine of petals ,

Spread yourself dry and dead, a cushiony cotton bed you serve,
Search yourself in the scorching air, for your scent still stays on ….

The Obligation

Oh ring! You constrict my blood
Where once you perfectly fit
You now strangle me to a dismal state
Whereby I suffocate
And drown in the muck of regret

To shed you would be freedom
To do away with the obligation
That I stated aloud, those many years ago
Would find me on a blissfully blank canvas of knowing
That I have nothing left to live for but everything

Ode to Loneliness


I love you
my beating heart
I adore you
my familiar voice

I still look for you in the quiet spaces
of day
when rumble and thaw
relinquish their hold
on thought

I miss you
my scepter of light
my governance
my balance
my guide

I forsake the peace that drowns out the silence
for a chance to be
alive in you

I need you
my gusto
my antidote
my tablet

Without inspiration
to write
my soul's every wish
the dense mist overruns

And I become a lost spirit
in the darkening glow of obsidian twilight
a phantom devoid of you

Inside my loneliness
truth loses its color

If I quit-
You Win.
and although-
I know-
It must be a sin-
Think I may
go- just
so I know-
and Alas rest!
your sword-
freed from my chest.