Be the Storm

      “What was coming was so beyond evil it made the Devil shake
He ordered immediately through demonic sacrifice to seal Hell’s gate,
      “God even stepped off his magnificent throne
To create an impenetrable barrier around Heaven’s home,

      “It was reported as a normal category five Atlantic storm
Which produced a haunting wind that was not the norm,      
      “Its rain bands made materials fragile like dead leaves
That also amplified the deadly effects of any virus or disease,

      “The storm reconfigured into a roaring Tsunami wall
With a length that stretched from Miami to Niagara Falls,
      “What was strange, the storm winds did not have any strength
But it affected the body and soul like a sinking ship,

      “It struck the American Atlantic coast at an incredible speed
Causing the stars on the American flag to fester and bleed,
      “Years of a nation’s selfish ideology fueled its own slaughter
That increased to inhuman levels contained within the American border,

      “Thousands of illegal aliens in a panic tried to cross back into Mexico
But melted under a hot sun from being turned into statues of living snow,
      “All who breathed the storms wind became consumed by their sin
Freely acting on their impulses with a blood lust wicked grin,

      “Politician minds transformed into snakes that exited from their eyes
To feed on their flesh, because of broken promises and horrible lies,  
      “Cities and small towns instantly were overrun by mutated freaks
Blood flowed in the streets as beast dined on sweet reproductive meats,

      “Lightning strikes in the Midwest set ablaze hundreds of miles of grain
In which black living flames hunted flesh without shame,  
      “Along the west coast from San Diego to Seattle
The unbridled raging elements killed millions like diseased cattle,

      “Twisted missiles of mass destruction launched from a chaotic nation
Impacting upon an unstable world with hellish devastation,
      “In a nuclear flash orgies of violence and savagery reigned supreme
Spreading the uncontrollable nightmare of the chaotic American dream,

      “Those who were common good now living in a world of chaotic strife
Were hunted, raped and crucified upon cannibalistic wood of antilife,
      “Furious prejudice-destructive hate had no bounds
As untold numbers ended their life by blade, poison or gun round,

      “But floating within the storm sat a dark figure with a wicked smile
A Dark Judge who orchestrated the chaos, bringing humanity to trial,
      “If humanity could not get along-acting like hungry rats in a maze
Then they would be brutally forced to get along as broken slaves”.

 

It ends or continues

that's how you roll
through the lightning,
igniting scars across
your skin turning
into life long
lessons

it's how you deal
with the rumbling
of thunderstorms,
echoing through
your ears as you
wake up from
a nightmare

because we're
all storm jez, we
either end or
continue.

I am calm waters
but whirlpools start slowly
when you slide your fingertips in
(to me)

and....

begin....

moving, circular...

first, a ripple
then, a wave
and I become more
than I ever imagined I could

turning, twisting
rising
walls of water building
flooding

and a wind rushes forth
from my throat
pushing across the surface
onto your land.

See what you started?

With that one, swirling
(touch)
my depths were dredged
and something unleashed --

all the hidden things
came up
and birds took flight
ahead of my tsunami

that broke upon your shores
while you stirred me
awake.....

I regaled my land with thunderings of merriment          
lighting my dark chuckles with bright flash of wit,          
I tickled trees, seas, oceans, till my joke was spent          
then rested to gather strengths to blow my season's blitz.          
Now I blast you foul storms your puny ambitions befit,          
as I reign over you tempestuously  crack and clap          
your puny stone buildings I will blast and split          
and rend your clothes and silly flags to scraps, as they flap...          
         
I blame you, you blustering creatures, for downpouring of my ire          
you forever chasing seasons of ease,          
climbing up for the secret of eternal fire,        
to power your life and turn my gales to balmy breeze...    
How dare you make my clouds weep, with stormy seeds,          
I am the life spreading Storm, you cannot control,          
I view you shower as a damping turbulent disease          
but, it may be, you do have a role?          
         
I will blow you down to a gory smear          
across your burnt and blasted arid lands,          
till nothing remains not even a tear          
then scour you gone with my whirlwinding sands.        
Your poisoned flesh, not fit for Earth's viands,          
but your bones, your dry bleached bones        
will nourish my green and pleasant sphere,          
till then I shall weather your howling, squalid, moans.          
 

My wife just left me                                  
I don't understand why, I provided her everything     The house the car everything                                
She walked out the door                                
My son doesn't have time for me anymore either   Since his mom left he hasn't called or visited           He sent me a letter a few weeks ago                         But I think he's too busy with his family                     My young new boss wants to change everything
I tried showing him how to do the work
I gave everything to that job
And like that I was fired
My dad's been very ill
My mom takes care of him
I know she wants to focus on him
So I try not to bother them
 
 
What happened to everyone in my life
I gave them so much and they all abandoned me
Leaving me with all the wreckage from the storm
I reached into my tattered pockets and I pulled
Out a broken mirror I found on the sidewalk
And the letter from my son
Dad, I hope you're doing better..We really miss you and we want you to come to your granddaughters graduation..I know you haven't seen her in over 10 years since mom left but she's 22 now and graduating with top honors..you would be so proud of her...mom and her new husband will be there and so will grandma..grandma misses you..she hasn't heard from you since right before grandpa passed..so please find time from your busy job and stop by and see everyone..love you
 
 
I saw the date on the letter from 15 years ago
As I folded it back up and placed it in my pocket
I saw my reflection in the mirror
The remnants of an old weathered man
Tears rained down my face and I realized
My lies hiding my addictions were the
hurricane winds my wife felt which ultimately
Destroyed my home and my marriage
My drinking fueled the tsunami that cascaded
down on my relationship with my son
After I lost my family my rage erupted like a
Volcano at work and I was fired
My heart was filled with burning molten lava
My soul became obsidian
This blizzard left me stranded from my parents
Isolated and alone in this world  
               
             
I am the storm..a self destructive chaotic cyclone that caused every cataclysmic event in my life

   
our foreheads          
pressed          
together,          
damp skin,          
shaking arms,          
open-mouth sighs          
that sound like          
pain          
and need          
and longing          
         
my skin          
is syncopated          
to your breath          
and it all feels          
         
like everything          
         
my toes dig into the          
mattress to anchor me          
in our storm          
and I cry out and offer    
another trembling release          
as a peace offering, perhaps          
or self defense, perhaps          
or temporary insanity          
         
perhaps          
         
It’s not so temporary.          
         
The rain picks up outside      
but you slow down          
and push into my body harder,          
until each thrust          
chips the paint          
from the wall          
behind the headboard,        
and our sweat soaks          
a kerosene outline          
on the scorched bed          
while I try to find more          
ways for          
my body to          
say          
         
Baby          
I’m sorry.          
         
I’m sorry.          
         
I was wrong.          
         
There is no shelter          
against the chronic storm          
between us and          
to be this naked          
as the hurricanes          
approach          
fucks me up          
         
you fuck me up          
         
the way I want you          
more than breath or reason          
fucks me up until          
I’d rather burn the world down,          
starting with me,          
than think of a day when          
I’m not yours          
         
and that’s some counterintuitive shit.          
         
Your breath catches sharply          
when my hands find          
the tacky spots,          
the burns,          
on your          
back          
and I tear up          
when I come again          
         
The wind picked up          
last night          
and the first drops of rain          
plinked down around us          
while I raged in the          
front yard like the          
coming storm was just          
foreshadowing          
         
And it was          
       
Because you took those          
cautious steps            
in the fiery maelstrom            
as the wind whipped my hair            
around like I was  a            
pyrogenic Medusa                    
until the space            
between us was          
spite-fueled steam    
         
And you stood in front of me          
until I couldn’t fucking stand          
either of us          
         
because I didn’t want          
to take responsibly          
for hurting you          
needlessly          
         
I didn’t want to be wrong.          
(but fuck,          
I didn’t want to be right)          
         
And I didn’t want to be in all          
in this grand carnage          
as tornados tore          
through our thin walls          
         
You let me lie and say          
the wind blew me          
into your arms          
to seek shelter          
as the sky thrashed          
its utter disdain,          
and let loose          
as if the heavens were          
a riverbed we          
slit open          
with our pain          
         
I asked you to          
to hold me          
until I didn’t          
feel the urge          
to burn us down          
as our skin hissed          
in the deluge          
         
I told you to not          
take your hands off          
off my body          
until we could          
walk barefoot          
across our backyard          
without finding embers          
         
I can find embers 
in          
the snow some days,          
let alone our flooded yard          
         
I asked you          
to love me slowly          
until I could          
be ok again          
         
and the way you          
feel across          
         
my body          
         
leaves me feeling          
less ok than ever.          
         
baby,          
lay your head here          
and hold me          
until I’m safe again          
         
As fragile as I feel against you,          
as fucked up as I am,      
you might have to          
hold me          
for—          
         
(for—)          
         
a while          
longer