Poetry competition CLOSED 22nd December 2022 7:18pm
WINNER
APissPoorShaman (Ryszard)
APissPoorShaman (Ryszard)
RUNNER-UP:
Jordan
Page:
Delightfully bonkers #6: December
Poetry Contest Description
Let the insanity commence!
Welcome to the December edition of craziness! Here is the home of all things weird, illogical, upside down, inside out, wrong, etc etc etc.
I try very hard to have no rules for the Bonkers competitions - it's more fun when none of us has a clue what the rules are! HOWEVER, last month some poems descended into pure filth, which isn't my thing at all. So, here are some guidelines for December:
No erotica or porn
Poetry only
Weird me out and make me laugh!
If you're stuck for ideas, we have previously had streams of consciousness, exercises in nonsense words, pun-filled offerings, crazy ghosts, anthropomorphised sweets, soliloquy, the Gospel according to Mankind and various non-sequiturs. Surprise and amuse me!
I try very hard to have no rules for the Bonkers competitions - it's more fun when none of us has a clue what the rules are! HOWEVER, last month some poems descended into pure filth, which isn't my thing at all. So, here are some guidelines for December:
No erotica or porn
Poetry only
Weird me out and make me laugh!
If you're stuck for ideas, we have previously had streams of consciousness, exercises in nonsense words, pun-filled offerings, crazy ghosts, anthropomorphised sweets, soliloquy, the Gospel according to Mankind and various non-sequiturs. Surprise and amuse me!
Related submission no longer exists.
Related submission no longer exists.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
A mess (222)
The newly weds never got
To eat their Eiffel Tower look-alike wedding cake
As it was destroyed-devoured
By a huge ape-looking mascot
Trying to claw its way to the top
But not quite getting there
And messing it up
With its feet stuck in a see
Of french vanilla sugar coated bricks.
To eat their Eiffel Tower look-alike wedding cake
As it was destroyed-devoured
By a huge ape-looking mascot
Trying to claw its way to the top
But not quite getting there
And messing it up
With its feet stuck in a see
Of french vanilla sugar coated bricks.
Written by robert43041
(Viking)
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Confusing?
So you can cook your english marmite in a french marmite
But no way can you cook a french marmite in an english marmite
Unless of course your english marmite is in a smaller french marmite
Which you could then place (for whatever cooking reason) in a bigger french marmite
But no way can you cook a french marmite in an english marmite
Unless of course your english marmite is in a smaller french marmite
Which you could then place (for whatever cooking reason) in a bigger french marmite
Written by robert43041
(Viking)
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Last Supper
I have died a thousand deaths
taken my last breaths
slowly over time
a poisoning of the mind
you would think this was a crime
but I smiled as I died
as love has ever been my guide
bite by awful bite
this my unpalatable plight
for your cooking is such a fright
as you serve supper with love in your eyes
taken my last breaths
slowly over time
a poisoning of the mind
you would think this was a crime
but I smiled as I died
as love has ever been my guide
bite by awful bite
this my unpalatable plight
for your cooking is such a fright
as you serve supper with love in your eyes
Written by APissPoorShaman
(Ryszard)
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I Got the Drip
I got the drip
It’s just a quip
Be aware of my very hairy vocabulary when you feel the friction
Don’t even trip
I flip this script
This odd façade is just a mask I put on when I swing my big diction
Careful don’t slip
It’s just the tip
…of the iceberg when you read deeper and in between the lines
Take a quick sip
Of this slick dip
Then wash it down with some poetic techniques like they’re fine wines
Get a good grip
Of this fast clip
Like my drumming it’s cunning and it just might make you laugh
It may sound sick
Just take your pick
‘Cause your minds already made up before the end of each paragraph
Don’t dare hit skip
It’s kind of hip
OK, silly maybe but you’re prolly hoping for some racy crazy innuendos
I let it rip
Like it’s cool whip
I gather it and slather it making all kinds of conspicuous mementos
Can’t see the trick?
Might be a blip
It’s just my wit trying to spit some lit [sic] licks where I split at the lip
Like how it hits?
It's for some shits…
…and giggles like riddles just because I wanted to say that I got the drip
Written by wallyroo92
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Scared
Recently dead
She knew she was supposed to be a ghost
But try as she might she could scare nobody
Nothing she tried ever worked
Not even when she whispered or cried or moaned
While desperately calling for mommy
Nothing worked until one night
There were many candlelights in the large room
In the glow she saw a huge human skeleton enter the room
Float by the long oak table as he headed her way
That is when she screamed as never before
Scared the wits of the numerous guests
And found joy in having created havoc,
Her first success as a happy ghost.
She knew she was supposed to be a ghost
But try as she might she could scare nobody
Nothing she tried ever worked
Not even when she whispered or cried or moaned
While desperately calling for mommy
Nothing worked until one night
There were many candlelights in the large room
In the glow she saw a huge human skeleton enter the room
Float by the long oak table as he headed her way
That is when she screamed as never before
Scared the wits of the numerous guests
And found joy in having created havoc,
Her first success as a happy ghost.
Written by robert43041
(Viking)
Go To Page
