Poetry competition CLOSED 20th June 2019 8:00pm
WINNER
Josh (Joshua Bond)
Josh (Joshua Bond)
Let’s Liberate Limericks!
St. Paddy Laddy
A young lad from Napa Valley
Drank to much on St. Paddy's
Waking the next day
Much to his dismay
He'd married Sasquatch Sally
Drank to much on St. Paddy's
Waking the next day
Much to his dismay
He'd married Sasquatch Sally
Written by snugglebuck
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Oh if only
There was a girl called Naomi,
who'd swallow any baloney.
We would all be shot by Cupid
if only she wasn't stupid.
Good looks and brains, oh if only.
who'd swallow any baloney.
We would all be shot by Cupid
if only she wasn't stupid.
Good looks and brains, oh if only.
Written by AnonymousBystander
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Hungry Visit (to Limerick)
A fox came to visit last night.
He was foraging for a bite,
he look'd in the bin
to find a strange tin
of out dat'd spam: food not right.
He was foraging for a bite,
he look'd in the bin
to find a strange tin
of out dat'd spam: food not right.
Written by AnonymousBystander
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Three Limers
The menu was more than appealing:
Kielbasa, a cup of Darjeeling;
she drank her tea sweet
and loved the rare meat,
so ordered the Twinnings
still squealing.
A witch who loved licorice from hell
took her Twizlers and got a motel;
she unpacked her broom
and rode ‘round the room
sucking red ‘bove the bed
casting spells.
A plumber by day, Sophie slept
with man and a wrench that she kept
around for a leak,
her skills were unique
and she loosened his nuts
‘till he wept
Kielbasa, a cup of Darjeeling;
she drank her tea sweet
and loved the rare meat,
so ordered the Twinnings
still squealing.
A witch who loved licorice from hell
took her Twizlers and got a motel;
she unpacked her broom
and rode ‘round the room
sucking red ‘bove the bed
casting spells.
A plumber by day, Sophie slept
with man and a wrench that she kept
around for a leak,
her skills were unique
and she loosened his nuts
‘till he wept
Written by Bumstead
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Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Zen and the Art of Fart
(a story in 5 limericks)
The grandmaster seemed to have a sixth sense,
Meditating amidst jade and incense,
When in silence so profound,
The grandmaster made a sound,
That some of us described as flatulence.
We looked at each other in disbelief,
Still staying quiet like a falling leaf,
Resonance like assonance,
Surely sounded like flatulence,
When again, grandmaster found more relief.
But the grandmaster kept still nonetheless,
Deep in meditation with some finesse,
As we kept to reverence,
We could smell the flatulence,
Which the grandmaster would not address.
Our minds could no longer contemplate,
It had become difficult to meditate,
The grandmaster deep in thought,
By now had been clearly caught,
Gases he was trying to liberate!
But the grandmaster then it seemed,
Broke loud wind like we’ve never heard or seen,
Then with wisdom and guidance,
The grandmaster broke his silence,
And said: Excuse me, but I blame the beans.
The grandmaster seemed to have a sixth sense,
Meditating amidst jade and incense,
When in silence so profound,
The grandmaster made a sound,
That some of us described as flatulence.
We looked at each other in disbelief,
Still staying quiet like a falling leaf,
Resonance like assonance,
Surely sounded like flatulence,
When again, grandmaster found more relief.
But the grandmaster kept still nonetheless,
Deep in meditation with some finesse,
As we kept to reverence,
We could smell the flatulence,
Which the grandmaster would not address.
Our minds could no longer contemplate,
It had become difficult to meditate,
The grandmaster deep in thought,
By now had been clearly caught,
Gases he was trying to liberate!
But the grandmaster then it seemed,
Broke loud wind like we’ve never heard or seen,
Then with wisdom and guidance,
The grandmaster broke his silence,
And said: Excuse me, but I blame the beans.
Written by wallyroo92
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Morning Routine
A puppy dog, not wanting to eat
Sat down on her plaid covered seat
Refusing all food
Put Dad in a bad mood
Started steaming from all of the heat
Sat down on her plaid covered seat
Refusing all food
Put Dad in a bad mood
Started steaming from all of the heat
Written by spacemod69
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The winner of this competition and any runners up were decided by public vote.
Thank you to the following members for voting:
JusTim_, FromTheAsh, LivDiane, Ely, Billy_Snagg, Marks, Tallen, Eerie, DawnRaider, Stoney223, Hepcat61, Layla, cabcool, Heaven_sent_Kathy, Amorous_tryst, SatInUGal, AnonymousBystander, admin, eswaller, David_Macleod, _shadoe_, SilverBeaver_42
Thank you to the following members for voting:
JusTim_, FromTheAsh, LivDiane, Ely, Billy_Snagg, Marks, Tallen, Eerie, DawnRaider, Stoney223, Hepcat61, Layla, cabcool, Heaven_sent_Kathy, Amorous_tryst, SatInUGal, AnonymousBystander, admin, eswaller, David_Macleod, _shadoe_, SilverBeaver_42
