Poetry competition CLOSED 20th August 2011 4:38pm
WINNER
anandosen
anandosen
Triolets
Anonymous
Darkbee said:
Train of Thought
As hills roll by aboard the train
I think of you with deep regret
joyous smiling my lips do feign
As hills roll by aboard the train
wind mocks lone church's weather vane
empty silence when last we met
As hills roll by aboard the train
I think of you with deep regret
I really enjoyed this, DB.
Will be submitting something soon, hopefully.
Train of Thought
As hills roll by aboard the train
I think of you with deep regret
joyous smiling my lips do feign
As hills roll by aboard the train
wind mocks lone church's weather vane
empty silence when last we met
As hills roll by aboard the train
I think of you with deep regret
I really enjoyed this, DB.
Will be submitting something soon, hopefully.
Anonymous
Astyanax said:OK, Jack, let's try this one:
I saw her shadow on the blind;
I look again, there’s no-one there -
it’s just a cruel trick of the mind.
I saw her shadow on the blind,
although she’s gone, left far behind.
She‘s lost to me, yet still I’d swear
I saw her shadow on the blind;
I look again, there’s no-one there.
Perfect!
I saw her shadow on the blind;
I look again, there’s no-one there -
it’s just a cruel trick of the mind.
I saw her shadow on the blind,
although she’s gone, left far behind.
She‘s lost to me, yet still I’d swear
I saw her shadow on the blind;
I look again, there’s no-one there.
Perfect!
duly noted jack, heres one:
i was falling, i could not stop
and nobody could hear my screams
descending like a spinning top
i was falling, i could not stop
through the colors of a candy shop
my mind was bursting at the seams
i was falling, i could not stop
and nobody could hear my screams
i was falling, i could not stop
and nobody could hear my screams
descending like a spinning top
i was falling, i could not stop
through the colors of a candy shop
my mind was bursting at the seams
i was falling, i could not stop
and nobody could hear my screams
attempt #764833
All i gave was my damned affection
Blindfold me and cut another piece
Relieve me of just one more section
All i gave was my damned affection
Mirrors taunt with your reflection
Turn me blind and gift me peace
All i gave was my damned affection
Blindfold me and cut another piece
All i gave was my damned affection
Blindfold me and cut another piece
Relieve me of just one more section
All i gave was my damned affection
Mirrors taunt with your reflection
Turn me blind and gift me peace
All i gave was my damned affection
Blindfold me and cut another piece
Anonymous
[font=Verdana]One entry per person please. Which one will you be entering violet? I recommend the first, as the second doesn't quite follow the rhyme scheme.
I recommend the first, as the second doesn't quite follow the rhyme scheme.
Ok eamonn helped me so I re edited
Mirror mirror tell them all
You're not impressed, but I can careless
how my hair tends to frizz up in a ball
Mirror mirror tell them all
When I look into you I see so many warts and all
But its ok, I like me and I know best
Mirror mirror tell them all
You're not impressed, but I can careless
Mirror mirror tell them all
You're not impressed, but I can careless
how my hair tends to frizz up in a ball
Mirror mirror tell them all
When I look into you I see so many warts and all
But its ok, I like me and I know best
Mirror mirror tell them all
You're not impressed, but I can careless
Anonymous
Does this one work, Jack?
Drought.
Feet are heavy in their sorrow
and clouds hang heavy above our heads,
praying for a release tomorrow.
Feet are heavy in their sorrow;
a pair of rain boots could we borrow?
Or step with bare toes instead?
Feet are heavy in their sorrow
and clouds hang heavy above our heads.
Drought.
Feet are heavy in their sorrow
and clouds hang heavy above our heads,
praying for a release tomorrow.
Feet are heavy in their sorrow;
a pair of rain boots could we borrow?
Or step with bare toes instead?
Feet are heavy in their sorrow
and clouds hang heavy above our heads.
Anonymous
[font=Verdana]It works
Anonymous
The rain falls on the house once more,
it taps the fragile windowpane,
and rattles all the unlocked doors.
The rain falls on the house once more
and lands upon the rotten floor
creating sickly sodden stains.
The rain falls on the house once more,
it taps the fragile windowpane.
it taps the fragile windowpane,
and rattles all the unlocked doors.
The rain falls on the house once more
and lands upon the rotten floor
creating sickly sodden stains.
The rain falls on the house once more,
it taps the fragile windowpane.
A Love Triolet
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue,
I plunge there to the bottom of her heart
Like the daffodils killed in sunlight hue.
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue,
Buried deep inside my heart I brew
An unexpressed love lying in thwart.
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue
I plunge there, to the bottom of her heart.
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue,
I plunge there to the bottom of her heart
Like the daffodils killed in sunlight hue.
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue,
Buried deep inside my heart I brew
An unexpressed love lying in thwart.
Her Cameroon eyes deep and blue
I plunge there, to the bottom of her heart.
Anonymous
[font=Verdana]Almost there, Anando, but "thwart" doesn't rhyme with "heart." At least not in my dialect. Does it in yours? I had a similar problem not long ago when I rhymed "shard" with "promenade."
[font=Courier New][size=2]
"Thwart" rhymes with "heart" in my dialect. Of the three rhyming dics I have,
two list the words as rhyming and the other as off-rhyming. The difference is in
how you pronounce the "art" in "thwart". Jack probably thinks it sounds more like
"ort". Damn limeys. (Though, technically, the top half of the USA says it like Jack,
it's just as "Suthners" that say it like you.)
Rhyme exists in the brain of the listener.
"Thwart" rhymes with "heart" in my dialect. Of the three rhyming dics I have,
two list the words as rhyming and the other as off-rhyming. The difference is in
how you pronounce the "art" in "thwart". Jack probably thinks it sounds more like
"ort". Damn limeys. (Though, technically, the top half of the USA says it like Jack,
it's just as "Suthners" that say it like you.)
Rhyme exists in the brain of the listener.
