Taboo

To anyone else, I'm sick
my perversions repulsive
but she understands

she takes me to her realm
where suffering and shame
become pleasure

she has become the master
of the beast, the one
that threatens to devour me

before she found me
my life meant nothing
she gave me purpose

when she gives me a command
nothing else seems to matter
and failure is not an option

she can show me pleasure
beyond anything I've known
or she can deny it for weeks

she is the master of my world
and I'm just her willing victim
she keeps bound for her purposes

Now, this  may  shock        
you poetic  types        
but my perversion        
is more than hype         
there's nothing that I wouldn't  do 
to get to my reward        
and really anyone will do        
because I'm just a whore        
but that is not to say that I
am lacking self-respect
I just keep pushing limits and
I haven't found mine yet  
I like it when it's painful     
and I love it when it's sick    
I love the kind  
that makes me want  
to go and wash my dick  
         
         
with pleasure        
I'll devour your soul        
to wear it on my face        
you'll find me later        
on my knees        
and begging for a taste        
I'll do whatever        
you command        
give thanks        
for your abuse        
because I'm just        
an object        
and I long for        
being used        
         
         
and when you're done        
just bag me up        
and leave on the curb        
that's really not        
a lot to ask,        
but more than I deserve          
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
 

I have a toy longboard
That was his when we were kids
He was the typical skater boy
Doing tricks for the highest of bids

He'd tackle me to the ground
Hug me and tease me about being a bear
Telling me he loved me
And how he'd forever care

Wherever him and his friends went
To smoke or fight or skate
He'd carry me on his back
Not caring if they were late

Wearing hoodies and Vans
His girlfriends with blonde or blue hair
Were never good enough for him
I was too selfish to share

With his bruised arms and black eyes
I fell in love with his scars
Reminding me of our bedroom walls
Covered by glow in the dark stars

He taught me how to play
Hands over mine, chin on my head
He'd give me the second controller
And cuddle with me in my bunk bed

Sniffing lines, drinking beers
Coming home midnight or later
I found myself missing him
While our mother called him a traitor

Covered in color and tattoos
A walking canvas of art
He called me beautiful, a masterpiece
And nicknamed me sweetheart

The day my father crawled into my head
He sang me to sleep with a lullaby
Burning away the memories
Of the bruises on my thigh

He held me when I cried
Kissed the tears off of my cheek
And told me it would be okay
Even when everything was bleak

His eyes were my safe haven
The same shade of green as mine
He'd trace shapes and words on my back
Giving me shivers up my spine

When mother took to rope
And my sister forgot reality
My brother went to prison
And my father took me

Years of screaming and nightmares
Until one faithful night
He decided to bring a gun
The darkness ebbing away with his light

He was my hero on a white horse
Bat in his hands and bullets on his tongue
When my father hit me
My brother swung

I dreamt of his lips, ached for his touch
When he hugged me, covered in blood
I fell in love with my brother
As my father's body hit the floor with a thud
  
I have a toy longboard
That was his when we were young
It reminds me of him
And how our first kiss took the breath from my lungs  
   
***Disclaimer: Not about author.