Weird shit and nothing else

Now you just need 4 female band members,

A drummer
Bassist
Guitarist
Lead Singer

And you could have an outfit that leaks… ok it sounded cooler in my head

Also I got my copy of your/our book at 1am the notification woke me  and now I can’t sleep
Betty said:

Oh… my… god… happy snails slime?!


Happy Snails Slime might be the most heavy metal thing I’ve ever seen on this website.

I am forming a punk band right now.

Nevermindthegaps said:Now you just need 4 female band members,

A drummer
Bassist
Guitarist
Lead Singer

And you could have an outfit that leaks… ok it sounded cooler in my head

Also I got my copy of your/our book at 1am the notification woke me  and now I can’t sleep


Hey! This is the weird shit thread! That’s not weird it’s fucking awesome!

Congrats you!

Go put that shit in the published authors thread and come back when you have weird shit.

Betty said:

Oh… my… god… happy snails slime?!


Happy Snails Slime might be the most heavy metal thing I’ve ever seen on this website.

I am forming a punk band right now.


Ooh! Ooh! 👋 Can I be in your band? 🤘😎


Here's what I have to contribute to the weird shit. Not shit, actually, but weird body stuff. Lady body stuff, to be more specific. My uterus spits IUDs.

After my twins were born, I got an IUD for birth control, until such time as we decided whether we wanted more kids. A few years later, we decided we did indeed want to give it a try - went to the doc to have the thing removed, and lo & behold it was already gone. They told me it must have fallen out. OK, cool. I went ahead and got pregnant, birthed my daughter, went on with life. Fast forward 10 years... I'm having some weird pelvic discomfort, ultrasounds show nothing, surgeon suspects some sort of bowel problem and orders a CT scan. He calls me personally within hours of the test: "your IUD has migrated out of your uterus and is lodged in your pelvic cavity near your spine". My WHAT??!?! I thought that thing fell out a decade ago! (Thank God it wasn't lodged in my daughters brain or something.) Successfully removed.... I knew the second I woke after surgery that it was gone (even wrote a poem about that)... I had no idea how much pain I had been living with!!

That was about 10 years ago now. About a year and a half ago, I decided to get an IUD again because, oh joy, perimenopause, heavy bleeding, anemia, yada yada.... they checked and rechecked its placement repeatedly for about 6 months after putting it in. I've had so many U/S wands shoved up my hooha, next time I might just ask the tech to take it a little slower and get me off while she's in there. Anyway, it was all good. 👍

UNTIL... I just had an ultrasound for something else a few weeks ago and guess what?? The new fkn IUD is going AWOL again!! It's going to have to come out. I might just get them to take the whole bent-up, fibrotic uterus with it this time. It's done its magic, and now it's just being a bitch. FFS.

This is an "extremely rare" complication to happen even once - but twice? Geez. Lightning strikes twice, I guess. 🤷‍♀️

brokentitanium said:

Ooh! Ooh! 👋 Can I be in your band? 🤘😎


Here's what I have to contribute to the weird shit. Not shit, actually, but weird body stuff. Lady body stuff, to be more specific. My uterus spits IUDs.

After my twins were born, I got an IUD for birth control, until such time as we decided whether we wanted more kids. A few years later, we decided we did indeed want to give it a try - went to the doc to have the thing removed, and lo & behold it was already gone. They told me it must have fallen out. OK, cool. I went ahead and got pregnant, birthed my daughter, went on with life. Fast forward 10 years... I'm having some weird pelvic discomfort, ultrasounds show nothing, surgeon suspects some sort of bowel problem and orders a CT scan. He calls me personally within hours of the test: "your IUD has migrated out of your uterus and is lodged in your pelvic cavity near your spine". My WHAT??!?! I thought that thing fell out a decade ago! (Thank God it wasn't lodged in my daughters brain or something.) Successfully removed.... I knew the second I woke after surgery that it was gone (even wrote a poem about that)... I had no idea how much pain I had been living with!!

That was about 10 years ago now. About a year and a half ago, I decided to get an IUD again because, oh joy, perimenopause, heavy bleeding, anemia, yada yada.... they checked and rechecked its placement repeatedly for about 6 months after putting it in. I've had so many U/S wands shoved up my hooha, next time I might just ask the tech to take it a little slower and get me off while she's in there. Anyway, it was all good. 👍

UNTIL... I just had an ultrasound for something else a few weeks ago and guess what?? The new fkn IUD is going AWOL again!! It's going to have to come out. I might just get them to take the whole bent-up, fibrotic uterus with it this time. It's done its magic, and now it's just being a bitch. FFS.

This is an "extremely rare" complication to happen even once - but twice? Geez. Lightning strikes twice, I guess. 🤷‍♀️


Yaaaasss queen, you can be in my band! Do uh… you play anything? It doesn’t matter, come on in and get a ratty t-shirt and some glitter eyeshadow. We are kicking stage lights tonight!

My vagina has been so utilitarian compared to your IUD spitter and Mags’ death crotch.

I’m a little jealous.  

That’s pretty fucking weird, by the way!

I've had so many U/S wands shoved up my hooha, next time I might just ask the tech to take it a little slower and get me off while she's in there.


That’s a thing? People will put wands in you? And insurance covers it?! HOLY SHIT!  

Do it!

And then come tell me about it!

Betty said:

That’s a thing? People will put wands in you? And insurance covers it?! HOLY SHIT!  

Do it!

And then come tell me about it!



Yep. They can "see" better that way.
Having someone probe you for clinical purposes is really not much fun. Could be the start of a good role-play, though... 🤔

brokentitanium said:

Yep. They can "see" better that way.
Having someone probe you for clinical purposes is really not much fun. Could be the start of a good role-play, though... 🤔

Oh.... my GAWD. I WANNA PLAY DOCTOR!

If this were a weird fantasy thread I could tell you some weird shit I think in the stirrups.

But it's NOT.

So I was telling someone the other day I got stuck under a bed trying to rescue a cat who'd shredded the bed liner and was wailing her little heart out. Stuck. My bestie took a picture instead of, you know, helping.

Who knew a tight space for a kitty could be so dusty...

I get to design the first album cover ( yes, album - they sound much better ).

Betty said:

Oh.... my GAWD. I WANNA PLAY DOCTOR!

If this were a weird fantasy thread I could tell you some weird shit I think in the stirrups.

But it's NOT.

So I was telling someone the other day I got stuck under a bed trying to rescue a cat who'd shredded the bed liner and was wailing her little heart out. Stuck. My bestie took a picture instead of, you know, helping.

Who knew a tight space for a kitty could be so dusty...



My husband is a doctor. I try not to think about the weird shit that might have gone on in other women's minds when he was checking their junk...

Now he's in geriatrics & doesn't do those exams anymore. I suppose those might be some dusty kitties...

Ahavati said:I get to design the first album cover ( yes, album - they sound much better ).

Yes!!! Good cover art is a must. It's gotta be weird though.

And Betty - yep, I can either play keys, or hit stuff with sticks, or sing/scream into a mic! 😎

Ahavati said:I get to design the first album cover ( yes, album - they sound much better ).

YAAAAAASS! This is the best day ever

I want it to be so emo-glam that we confuse ourselves when we pick it up.

I'm talking pink fucking glitter and mohawks with disinterested stares into the ether while holding a Stepford platter of brownies or a cheese tray...

And we need a duck.

brokentitanium said:

My husband is a doctor. I try not to think about the weird shit that might have gone on in other women's minds when he was checking their junk...

Now he's in geriatrics & doesn't do those exams anymore. I suppose those might be some dusty kitties...

That's kind of awful. I never considered what GYN spouses must have to go through. And do they get plumber's syndrome? Up to their second knuckle in hooties all day and come home... just want to cuddle?

Tell the truth... did you ever do it with scrubs and the stethoscope on? Did he ever take your tempera...

Never mind! I don't want to know! (I do.)  

We had a perv thread somewhere... sigh... in the good old days.

brokentitanium said:

Yes!!! Good cover art is a must. It's gotta be weird though.

And Betty - yep, I can either play keys, or hit stuff with sticks, or sing/scream into a mic! 😎

FUCK YEAH! I can't do any of those things!

Although in sixth grade I played a wicked viola.

I once found myself in Liverpool, drunk to fuck and hanging on indie songs. Met Shirley at some BBQ. Blah blah blah ended up back at her flat and she demanded, rudely in my opinion, that I wee in her mouth. She was kind of cute, so I just said I really wanted to kiss her and didn't wish to taste my pee. To further accentuate my discomfort, she then begged me to shit on her! I ended up sleeping in a Liverpool alley, awaiting the next train home, and it was the best night sleep I ever had. Lol.  

Hatful-of-Hollow said:I once found myself in Liverpool, drunk to fuck and hanging on indie songs. Met Shirley at some BBQ. Blah blah blah ended up back at her flat and she demanded, rudely in my opinion, that I wee in her mouth. She was kind of cute, so I just said I really wanted to kiss her and didn't wish to taste my pee. To further accentuate my discomfort, she then begged me to shit on her! I ended up sleeping in a Liverpool alley, awaiting the next train home, and it was the best night sleep I ever had. Lol.  

Oh. My. God. That is my worst nightmare. I'm like... the toilet kink might be the only thing I have an actual aversion to. Not that there's anything wrong with it.....

Good on you, friend, you made the right choice!

Guy I worked with  a thousand years ago -- restaurant manager --  used to pay hookers to pitch a loaf on a glass table. I always hoped he washed his hands well before he came to work...

So Hatful’s story reminded me of this one

I don’t know how true this story is because it’s third hand and I hesitate about it because of that however it fits here…

A friend of a friend sort of thing

So this friend of a friend picked up a grid-at the
Clipsal 500 car race,

They were getting hot and heavy and she asked if he wanted some “ecstasy” he agreed downed the little pill and they proceeded to her place a little more hot and heavy action before she led him to the bedroom and tied him down….
Full plastic room, with vinyl/plastic sheets

Apparently she had slipped him a high strength laxative,  so after she tied him down she walked out until he shat the bed, she came in a little while later in a full leather/plastic/vinyl outfit and pretended to be mortified sent him to shower, when he got out of shower she was rolling in his shit like a pig in a sty

naturally he fled traumatised and only ever talks about it when he’s so drunk he has no self control or inhibitions

Once again I can’t vouch for the full validity of this story I do know the man in question that was supposed to have spoken said story but I have never heard him talk about it…