You are the muse

 
you're many
experiences
in a short
space of
time,

that's why
your fingers  
tremble to
pin them
down.

he sits by the pool
notebook balanced on his knee
pen in hand and lost in thought
unaware what he is feedin these pages

his nature fills these words
not with madness and genius
but with the quiet moments after his storms
when he's searchin for himself

his fingers find melodies no one else knows
playin what dictates his soul
no sheet music to guide him
just raw feelin translated in song

a look in his eyes like he’s burnin alive
speaks of not belongin to this place
in his alienation
there’s a truth that emerges

darker hours come
when rage erupts without warnin
fists clenched against invisible enemies
voice raised against unheard accusations

the multiple day silences
empty spaces where bottles once stood
bitter words spat in moments of drownin
before collapsin into hollow apologies

his mischievous grin appears less often now
stubborn stance more defensive than strong
but in unguarded moments
he offers a gentler touch

mind spinnin on tangents
disappearin mid conversation
travelin some place internal
before returnin with haunted eyes

he slides thru mistakes
pivotin, turnin. adaptin
as if errors were always the intention
a grace found in those use to failure

sometimes it’s all too much
the weight of expectations pressin down
the silent battles no one witnesses
the 3 year coin tucked daily into his pocket

his soul speaks in language with no translation
never seein himself reflected in these lines
never knowin where he translates to art
servin as unwittin muse

 
Just know that I thrived to make you smile
And that I also I strived to make your laugh
Because I cried too with you in your grief
Even if my tears didn’t bring you any relief
 
But it was my belief that in sharing these emotions
I would kind of move you in some type of way
Even if I was a faceless stranger in the distance
We’d bond like little innocent children at play
 
Perhaps it was the silly rhymes I’d add in lines
To make you awe in wonder, ponder and think
So if you drink the ink to open up your mind’s eye
You would find how closely we were really linked
 
Maybe I wasn’t blessed with swiftness or quickness
But I swear I always felt the urge to slay in wordplay
Giving you the courage for you to express yourself
And maybe even help others by paving the way
 
All I wanted to do was add fire to your pen and lighter
With a fuel hotter than any ire or passion known to man
And the words would burn minds when they read them
Knowing that you heard them and that you understand
 
All I ever wished was to be the drive who stood close by
The muse that lit the fuse and gave you inspiration
So that when you see your creation you’d remember me
And I would happily be your spark…your secret motivation

She told me she loved me by the water fountain.
It's where we met.
Where we dreamt,where our home was.
 
And where we slept.
She told me she loved me more than him.
Her voice sounding sad and grim.
 
It's been a good while since I saw her face.
The way she moves in ellegance and grace.
But she is now with another.
 
That's approved by her father.
It's getting quite late outside.
And he was in a hurry to touch.
 
She says she loves him.
And that he cares much.
Now he's grabbing her hips and pulling her in.
 
Embracing her lips,her waist feeling thin.
I can see the sadness on her face.
As she cries into her pillow at night.
 
When she tells me her fears,I can't help but feel fright.
She couldn't be alone during nighttime.
It made her feel alone.
 
And the comfort of her quiet home.
Alas,she was too young at the time.
It hurt to see her sad,almost like a crime.
 
When she said she loves me,  I felt her shine.
I should have built a home with a fountain for us and make her mine.
Alas,we were too young to understand.
 
Crying at night,near her nightstand.
If she ever comes back,I'll treat her well.
We will be back to when we first met.
 
When I could see the sparkle in her eyes.
Falling into the fountain,her hair wet.
Now I'm grabbing her hips and pulling her in.
 
I'll kiss her like never before.
And I won't leave her alone at night no more.
I should have built a home with a fountain for us.
 
When she said those words so sweet.
I remember the day we first met.
When we were just kids.
 
We were too young to understand.
I'll stand by her side at night.
No longer crying near her nightstand.
 
I'll always remember the fountain we met.
As we watch a falling, colorful sunset.

I’ve brought my own table    
as a pariah of deception and false light  
I should shoulder my burdens alone  
scraping worn out shoes on  
melting asphalt    
because there’s nothing more pathetic than a    
down-bad-wannabe-troubadour    
selling stolen kisses and broken promises  
   
some nights the walls creep toward me
solemn crumbling gyprock bemoaning their lot  
to hold it all up    
while the bed is an iced-tundra of loneliness    
so I wake before the dawn  
saddle my burdens in a beat up truck  
watch particles of dust cause chaos in  
the high-beams as I careen uncaring down    
another long road ignoring the signs that  
say    
go back    
not here    
trespassers will be shot  
   
a motel light bekons from the roadside as a  
last ray of hope that tastes like heroin    
drawn from the corpse of a junkie,
 
to the lost and broken it’ll never be salvation  
but at least it feels familiar  
to those that know where hatred hides  
   
I investigate your eyes    
know the expression of sullen sadness    
of someone looking for an idea of home  
that plays from the cold lies of a Hollywood screen  
It feels like a crime that the weapons I carry  
take you to cliffs of agony and ecstasy    
and make you want to dive in head first    
and see    
see  
if it’s worth more than all the tears shed  
waiting to be saved by the nothing    
that pries nightmares from children’s minds