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Confessions
gothicsurrealism
Daniel Long
9
Joined 26th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 182
Daniel Long
Thought Provoker
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Forum Posts: 182
Poetry Contest Description
The name of the competition says it all! One new write per poet and poetess. Any length. Confess something poetically here that you would not confess to those at home or at your job. Take whatever confession you have and be creative with it.
gothicsurrealism
Daniel Long
9
Joined 26th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 182
Daniel Long
Thought Provoker
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Forum Posts: 182
Confession of a Schizophrenic
I begin this entry with the premonition of learning more about myself.
What shall I find beyond the fog of uncertainty?
What have I failed to recognize in this life?
This is not a life; this is not a dream.
How impenetrable is the wall that divides my mind?
That divides reality from dreams.
Oh, but the dream world allows me to feel what I thought was never real.
In this world I feel peace and serenity
and all my characters welcome me with open arms and thank yous
for the noble heart I’ve always felt morally obliged to offer.
On this side of the wall, the sun drapes its warmth over my face;
its rays blanket my skin, shielding me from the cold and bitter side of reality.
Oh, how I love to imagine a good life on the other side!
Always drawn to this concrete barrier,
I’d jump and grasp the threshold that feels rugged beneath my fingers, peering over.
What a strange world! I’ll see figures in the distance, laughing, conversing.
Their silhouettes eerily presented in the moonlight of veracity.
I can feel the chill of this side assaulting my face.
Oh, what a bitter world!
None of these bodies seem to mind the dimness, the cold; they’re happy. How?
I’ll stare beyond the wall; now and again something will stop, turn and look at me.
I don’t know what it thinks or feels. It’s too dark for me to know.
It’ll stare back. I’ll see the whiteness of their eyes, I know they stare.
One day two silhouettes strolled along; I could make out their faint mumble.
They gazed in my direction as their pace slowed, voices faded.
Suddenly a roar of laughter stampeded my way,
ricocheting and echoing across the world of reality.
In the cold, lengthy plumes of breath emerged.
One shook its head; the other looked on;
its white eyes piercing the darkness like two arrows.
The wall, however; shielded me… as it always has.
I’m home here. Nothing can hurt me… no judgments.
I gaze and ponder at the real world.
Frigid gusts of rejection attack my exposed inner self;
their assaults quite overpowering.
A warm hand came to rest upon my shoulder.
I turned to the light to see a sun-lit hand,
washed in flush complexion; belonging to a gorgeous person.
Those eyes… oh, those eyes drew me in.
The smile thawed me. A tear of contentment flew down my cheek.
The lips of that perfect smile spoke to me; “Come back home Daniel.”
What shall I find beyond the fog of uncertainty?
What have I failed to recognize in this life?
This is not a life; this is not a dream.
How impenetrable is the wall that divides my mind?
That divides reality from dreams.
Oh, but the dream world allows me to feel what I thought was never real.
In this world I feel peace and serenity
and all my characters welcome me with open arms and thank yous
for the noble heart I’ve always felt morally obliged to offer.
On this side of the wall, the sun drapes its warmth over my face;
its rays blanket my skin, shielding me from the cold and bitter side of reality.
Oh, how I love to imagine a good life on the other side!
Always drawn to this concrete barrier,
I’d jump and grasp the threshold that feels rugged beneath my fingers, peering over.
What a strange world! I’ll see figures in the distance, laughing, conversing.
Their silhouettes eerily presented in the moonlight of veracity.
I can feel the chill of this side assaulting my face.
Oh, what a bitter world!
None of these bodies seem to mind the dimness, the cold; they’re happy. How?
I’ll stare beyond the wall; now and again something will stop, turn and look at me.
I don’t know what it thinks or feels. It’s too dark for me to know.
It’ll stare back. I’ll see the whiteness of their eyes, I know they stare.
One day two silhouettes strolled along; I could make out their faint mumble.
They gazed in my direction as their pace slowed, voices faded.
Suddenly a roar of laughter stampeded my way,
ricocheting and echoing across the world of reality.
In the cold, lengthy plumes of breath emerged.
One shook its head; the other looked on;
its white eyes piercing the darkness like two arrows.
The wall, however; shielded me… as it always has.
I’m home here. Nothing can hurt me… no judgments.
I gaze and ponder at the real world.
Frigid gusts of rejection attack my exposed inner self;
their assaults quite overpowering.
A warm hand came to rest upon my shoulder.
I turned to the light to see a sun-lit hand,
washed in flush complexion; belonging to a gorgeous person.
Those eyes… oh, those eyes drew me in.
The smile thawed me. A tear of contentment flew down my cheek.
The lips of that perfect smile spoke to me; “Come back home Daniel.”
Written by gothicsurrealism
(Daniel Long)
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Betty
25
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 510
Tyrant of Words
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My internal monologue is a jealous cunt
I threw a beer bottle across the bar
so you threw me
over your shoulder
and parted the crowd
as I strained to
crawl down your back
and beat the shit
my personified
insecurities
You set me down
in front of your
car door,
and leaned into me
until I broke
I broke
and fell against you
in helpless sobs
that scared the shit out
of both of us
And I couldn't say what I meant
so I choked out shit like
Fuck that twat,
Fuck them all
and …
you tilted my head
with your thumb on my chin
and made eye contact,
and asked what’s wrong
as I went weak
baby...
(inhale)
I think every woman wants you
you
the way I want you
and I can't say that
can't say
I’m convinced they
see what I
see.have.love.need
and their pink little tongues
dart out to
moisten
their sweet little
mouths
as they
look
at
you
and it makes me want to
stab all 8 billion fuckers on
this flaming blue space marble
right in the forehead with the
heel of a rage-red stiletto
just to make sure they
keep their
fucking mouths
on their side of the
fucking street
just. fucking. because.
because
I live for the way your lips
feel like home;
my home.
and I've been homeless
for so long that
I see sinkholes and
flash floods
on good rock
with clear skies
but your lips are
my sanctuary,
and I hate how I imagine
bitches pulling out
tubes of
‘looking to lease’ lipgloss
in the hope you decide
to rent this space out
as an AirBNB
or a Pay by the Hour Hotel
And I can stand here all fucking day
with a flamethrower and a
muted guard dog,
ready to
barbecue any ass
that throws itself your way
but…
(exhale)
I think everyone wants you
the way I want you
So I’m enslaved
by my own
fear
and I can't tell you that...
that I am not
enough
I will never be enough
could never be
enough to
be loved
by
someone
as miraculous
as you
and I
can't
(inhale)
But the bar crowd
left us in a dark parking lot
and I found my way
to your lap
in the driver’s seat
of your car
you put your
arms around me,
and I peeled my
inadequacy over us
like a smooth second skin
when you peeled off my bra
I sighed into your hands
as they slid up my bare thighs
and your mouth
moved against
the shadows in my mind
as I begged you
without words
to shut the voice
in my head up
for just this moment
and show me
show me
that you want me
the way
I
want
you
Written by Betty
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neves
Forum Posts: 34
Twisted Dreamer
2
Joined 13th Mar 2023![awards](/images/forum/tstar.gif)
Forum Posts: 34
In summer
We dream on
a brown sofa
without any
cushions
our hands
melding into
each other
like long
prayers
seeing
through
a rough
drought.
Written by neves
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Rew
15
Joined 30th Sep 2022
Forum Posts: 534
Fire of Insight
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Forum Posts: 534
Ok, I confess...
to being a hairy-arsed, smelly fella
a resigned, belching, farting, grubby Vet'
who's seventy-six-year-old eyeballs, yella'd
with ginned jaundice the nearer death I get,
I muse, picking my toes with a finger
and sniffing that sweet smell of gross excess,
rolling from my pit where a smell lingers
of something dubious, a late night guest?
Not! some cheeky, crusading, chubby lass,
a junior oik in a provincial rag,
who doesn't get bylines just dirty tasks
like BMD's & Obit's, it's a drag,
Yah!, I cribbed those from the ' Daily Express '
There! That's a double, " Ok, I confess..."
a resigned, belching, farting, grubby Vet'
who's seventy-six-year-old eyeballs, yella'd
with ginned jaundice the nearer death I get,
I muse, picking my toes with a finger
and sniffing that sweet smell of gross excess,
rolling from my pit where a smell lingers
of something dubious, a late night guest?
Not! some cheeky, crusading, chubby lass,
a junior oik in a provincial rag,
who doesn't get bylines just dirty tasks
like BMD's & Obit's, it's a drag,
Yah!, I cribbed those from the ' Daily Express '
There! That's a double, " Ok, I confess..."
Written by Rew
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Everavalon
4
Joined 19th Dec 2022
Forum Posts: 59
Thought Provoker
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The parlour in view
Thundering cues
Provided by you
Affair of the minds
The darkest of kinds
The greener the grass
The absence of class
Sifting through shards
As you wander through yards
Smitten, you woo
for a love that’s taboo
Infatuated deep
Why these feelings you keep?
Fate, our designer
The real star aligner
Flattery and grace
In our secret space
The presence of lustre
In the words that you muster
You sow what intrigues me
You know how to please me
You’re attached to a tether
You should’ve know whether
The world that you’re in
Is worth harbouring sin
Indelible wife
causing you strife
As the parlour, in view
of the transgressions that grew
You string her along
you sing her some song
While enamoured and weak
When hearing me speak
Spiritual lamb
Paralleling my jam
You’re entirely confused
Trying to keep me amused
Good intentions; an onus
Our meetings, a bonus
But you’ll have to let go
of the feelings you show
There’ll never be, completely
A time you’ll complete me
I’m in love with another
He’s a man like no other
Now I send you this quip
From the chalice, I tip
Cheers to the low
of letting me go
Provided by you
Affair of the minds
The darkest of kinds
The greener the grass
The absence of class
Sifting through shards
As you wander through yards
Smitten, you woo
for a love that’s taboo
Infatuated deep
Why these feelings you keep?
Fate, our designer
The real star aligner
Flattery and grace
In our secret space
The presence of lustre
In the words that you muster
You sow what intrigues me
You know how to please me
You’re attached to a tether
You should’ve know whether
The world that you’re in
Is worth harbouring sin
Indelible wife
causing you strife
As the parlour, in view
of the transgressions that grew
You string her along
you sing her some song
While enamoured and weak
When hearing me speak
Spiritual lamb
Paralleling my jam
You’re entirely confused
Trying to keep me amused
Good intentions; an onus
Our meetings, a bonus
But you’ll have to let go
of the feelings you show
There’ll never be, completely
A time you’ll complete me
I’m in love with another
He’s a man like no other
Now I send you this quip
From the chalice, I tip
Cheers to the low
of letting me go
Written by Everavalon
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CasketSharpe
15
Joined 12th June 2013
Forum Posts: 154
Tyrant of Words
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Forum Posts: 154
The Call of Pussy Forbidden
“Early in the morning I have to deal with this Devil shit
The thought in my head while looking at this sexy bitch,
“She has a good heart and motherfuckin cool
But she’s forbidden pussy, having me break the family rule,
“The shit wasn’t supposed to happen on that typical day
All I was doing was driving her around the way,
“It was first usual casual talking-then the conversation got nasty
Next thing I knew I was knuckle deep in her pussy,
“Ended up at the hospital on the third floor
Found a secluded fuck spot and locked the door,
“That first encounter lasted a wild passionate hour
And when I got back it was straight to the shower,
“We’re not connected by blood
It’s just a fuck thing without no love,
“A situation we fell in-I guess I lucked-up
And if we get caught then both our asses is fucked-up,
“After every intense fuck we agree it will be the last
But every other day I’m knee deep in her ass,
“Fucking from one side of the city to the next
As we both become more addicted to each other’s sex,
“Her mama trying to figure out what’s going on
Hopefully her nosy ass won’t go through her phone,
“Text messages of any kind is digital proof
That will send the old ho’ straight through the roof,
“Especially if she knew I was fucking her daughter
Because her attitude towards me will be forever sour,
“But that pussy vacationing between her daughter’s legs is so sweet
It has us put in night work while everyone is sleep,
“One of the things that’s fucking crazy
We continue fucking raw, increasing our chances of making a baby,
“Another part of the situation that’s dead wrong
Is that we are living within the same home”.
The thought in my head while looking at this sexy bitch,
“She has a good heart and motherfuckin cool
But she’s forbidden pussy, having me break the family rule,
“The shit wasn’t supposed to happen on that typical day
All I was doing was driving her around the way,
“It was first usual casual talking-then the conversation got nasty
Next thing I knew I was knuckle deep in her pussy,
“Ended up at the hospital on the third floor
Found a secluded fuck spot and locked the door,
“That first encounter lasted a wild passionate hour
And when I got back it was straight to the shower,
“We’re not connected by blood
It’s just a fuck thing without no love,
“A situation we fell in-I guess I lucked-up
And if we get caught then both our asses is fucked-up,
“After every intense fuck we agree it will be the last
But every other day I’m knee deep in her ass,
“Fucking from one side of the city to the next
As we both become more addicted to each other’s sex,
“Her mama trying to figure out what’s going on
Hopefully her nosy ass won’t go through her phone,
“Text messages of any kind is digital proof
That will send the old ho’ straight through the roof,
“Especially if she knew I was fucking her daughter
Because her attitude towards me will be forever sour,
“But that pussy vacationing between her daughter’s legs is so sweet
It has us put in night work while everyone is sleep,
“One of the things that’s fucking crazy
We continue fucking raw, increasing our chances of making a baby,
“Another part of the situation that’s dead wrong
Is that we are living within the same home”.
Written by CasketSharpe
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ThePalestRider
2
Joined 14th Sep 2018
Forum Posts: 17
Twisted Dreamer
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Forum Posts: 17
"Night's Embrace"
To thee I must confide a somber tale,
That shadows deep and dark do hold my heart.
In twilight's grasp, where light and dreams unveil,
I dwell within the gloom, ne'er to depart.
The night enfolds me in its velvet cloak,
Where phantoms drift and whispered secrets stay
Within the dusk, where once bright hopes are broke,
I find a refuge, far from light’s array
No sun’s embrace nor dawn’s inviting gleam,
Shall coax me forth from shadow’s hidden lair
In darkness’ grasp, my soul doth weave its dream,
And in the gloom, I find a solace rare
O, let me not in daylight’s blinding glare,
For shadows are my home, and there I dwell
In dark’s embrace, I find a deep despair,
Yet here, in twilight’s realm, my heart does swell
To thee I must confide a somber tale,
That shadows deep and dark do hold my heart.
In twilight's grasp, where light and dreams unveil,
I dwell within the gloom, ne'er to depart.
The night enfolds me in its velvet cloak,
Where phantoms drift and whispered secrets stay
Within the dusk, where once bright hopes are broke,
I find a refuge, far from light’s array
No sun’s embrace nor dawn’s inviting gleam,
Shall coax me forth from shadow’s hidden lair
In darkness’ grasp, my soul doth weave its dream,
And in the gloom, I find a solace rare
O, let me not in daylight’s blinding glare,
For shadows are my home, and there I dwell
In dark’s embrace, I find a deep despair,
Yet here, in twilight’s realm, my heart does swell
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xthan
Joined 4th June 2024
Forum Posts: 7
Lost Thinker
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Forum Posts: 7
I confess this heat is insufferable
the way it bends and breaks us
into leaving things left unspoken
last night, you confessed it would be
infinitely better laying by my side
in this overgrown garden
falling asleep watching the
starry sky in my arms
in that moment, I felt that garden
trying to crawl out of our opposite
signs alive
as air inside my body fans your words
rising up into flames;
from resigning on a split pole
never failing to draw
each other in.
Written by xthan
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Ahavati
Tams
119
Joined 11th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 15949
Tams
Tyrant of Words
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Forum Posts: 15949
Mother-Wound
I.
I have been blessed
with time
but find it difficult
to believe
I have been alive
double-over the years
my mother lived
We were not close
before she gave up the ghost
and having matured
through deep introspection
I came to know the whys
of the mother-wound
She was only 14
when she married
my father, who was 16—
normal for that period of time
Their love story was great
and lasted 20 years
ending the year
my father retired
their dreams sinking
six feet under
I didn't talk or think
about my mother much
with the exception
of harboring regret
that I wasn't older
or at least outgrown
my rebelliousness
Nor that I possessed
the knowledge
of shadow work
while she still breathed
When I would see friends
with their mothers
retired with grace and age
I felt pained—
my mother-wound triggered
and wondered
if given a chance
she and I
would've been friends
II.
I dreamt of my father
immediately
after he left this earth
He was reading a paper
and eating an apple
like he always did
He turned the paper around
and grinned at me
like he always did
and pointed to a headline
that said,
“I leave all my choices
up to God”
It’s the first time
I had seen his face
at peace
since my mother’s illness
But I never dreamt
of my mother
until recently—
45 years after her death
We were sitting on my sofa
she was looking around
taking everything in
like it was the first time
she had visited me
It was early spring
and my door was open
while we talked
about everything
She seemed confused
when I asked
how she was here
being she had died
decades ago
She answered,
"But I'm not gone
“I'm here with you"
We burst out laughing
long and loud and hard
over how silly the idea
of separation had become
Just like we were the oldest
and dearest of friends
catching up
after so much time
III.
I woke, comforted
knowing my mother-wound
had finally closed
IV.
I saw a friend today
her mother on her arm
I felt no pain
only joy for them both
I have been blessed
with time
but find it difficult
to believe
I have been alive
double-over the years
my mother lived
We were not close
before she gave up the ghost
and having matured
through deep introspection
I came to know the whys
of the mother-wound
She was only 14
when she married
my father, who was 16—
normal for that period of time
Their love story was great
and lasted 20 years
ending the year
my father retired
their dreams sinking
six feet under
I didn't talk or think
about my mother much
with the exception
of harboring regret
that I wasn't older
or at least outgrown
my rebelliousness
Nor that I possessed
the knowledge
of shadow work
while she still breathed
When I would see friends
with their mothers
retired with grace and age
I felt pained—
my mother-wound triggered
and wondered
if given a chance
she and I
would've been friends
II.
I dreamt of my father
immediately
after he left this earth
He was reading a paper
and eating an apple
like he always did
He turned the paper around
and grinned at me
like he always did
and pointed to a headline
that said,
“I leave all my choices
up to God”
It’s the first time
I had seen his face
at peace
since my mother’s illness
But I never dreamt
of my mother
until recently—
45 years after her death
We were sitting on my sofa
she was looking around
taking everything in
like it was the first time
she had visited me
It was early spring
and my door was open
while we talked
about everything
She seemed confused
when I asked
how she was here
being she had died
decades ago
She answered,
"But I'm not gone
“I'm here with you"
We burst out laughing
long and loud and hard
over how silly the idea
of separation had become
Just like we were the oldest
and dearest of friends
catching up
after so much time
III.
I woke, comforted
knowing my mother-wound
had finally closed
IV.
I saw a friend today
her mother on her arm
I felt no pain
only joy for them both
Written by Ahavati
(Tams)
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Zombiegirl46
Joined 20th Oct 2022
Forum Posts: 2
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 2
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Liziantus-Marantus
Ivelina Boneva
2
Joined 7th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 134
Ivelina Boneva
Thought Provoker
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Forum Posts: 134
Illusion Of His Presence
You abandoned me at my worst,
when you should have gotten to know me first.
My throat is dry,and so i feel thirst.
But no words can fullfill that thirst.
I have to get my affection first.
But who will give that to me,when nobody has done that in years?
""It's new year!"", they said as they cheered.
While I still have nobody near me.
Angel guardian,can you hear me?
I asked as I shouted in the sky.
But i didn't get no reply. Just the wind blowing in my hair.
Do you even truly care? Was my past even fair?
I ask myself as I sit on the bench.
Then,somebody sat next to me.
He asked me,""I love you! Do you trust me?"".
He kissed me and I instantly fell inlove.
Because when you are away,I fall apart.
His eyes shined like diamonds in the sky.
I felt loved,as I try not to cry. He wiped my tears,
and helped me up to fly. I felt happy,I felt loved.
But then it all fell apart.
Alas, that dream of a guy is not real.
But when I am with him in my mind,
happiness is all I feel. Oh,if only he was real.
He could have really helped me heal.
I know,I may seem crazy for thinking that.
But when i am without him,I fall apart.
when you should have gotten to know me first.
My throat is dry,and so i feel thirst.
But no words can fullfill that thirst.
I have to get my affection first.
But who will give that to me,when nobody has done that in years?
""It's new year!"", they said as they cheered.
While I still have nobody near me.
Angel guardian,can you hear me?
I asked as I shouted in the sky.
But i didn't get no reply. Just the wind blowing in my hair.
Do you even truly care? Was my past even fair?
I ask myself as I sit on the bench.
Then,somebody sat next to me.
He asked me,""I love you! Do you trust me?"".
He kissed me and I instantly fell inlove.
Because when you are away,I fall apart.
His eyes shined like diamonds in the sky.
I felt loved,as I try not to cry. He wiped my tears,
and helped me up to fly. I felt happy,I felt loved.
But then it all fell apart.
Alas, that dream of a guy is not real.
But when I am with him in my mind,
happiness is all I feel. Oh,if only he was real.
He could have really helped me heal.
I know,I may seem crazy for thinking that.
But when i am without him,I fall apart.
Written by Liziantus-Marantus
(Ivelina Boneva)
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Krowzwish
Joined 24th Dec 2021
Forum Posts: 1
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 1
confession
Moonlight Sonata is hanging in the window crack
It wanted to reach the ground
It’s okay
I’m not here to nourish thirsty hearts
I just feel hot and wet
Cheap coffee is standing still on the sill
It wanted to take a good photo with a book
It’s okay
Whether it takes the photo or not
It doesn’t get noble
It doesn’t get mad
It just gets cold
waiting to be consumed by the abyss
Thick notebook expects much from me
It wanted to be full
It’s okay
I don’t mind the blank pages
They remind me of my early ages
Thirsty, priceless, empty…
It wanted to reach the ground
It’s okay
I’m not here to nourish thirsty hearts
I just feel hot and wet
Cheap coffee is standing still on the sill
It wanted to take a good photo with a book
It’s okay
Whether it takes the photo or not
It doesn’t get noble
It doesn’t get mad
It just gets cold
waiting to be consumed by the abyss
Thick notebook expects much from me
It wanted to be full
It’s okay
I don’t mind the blank pages
They remind me of my early ages
Thirsty, priceless, empty…
Written by Krowzwish
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