Poem of 2024
Fore!
and thwack! up goes the ball
a white bullet zipping through the air
eyes watched for it to fall
on the fairway
but it didn't and created a scream
two men having cone ice cream
one fell to the ground with a groan
the other screamed in high falsetto
and thwack! up goes the ball
a white bullet zipping through the air
eyes watched for it to fall
on the fairway
but it didn't and created a scream
two men having cone ice cream
one fell to the ground with a groan
the other screamed in high falsetto
A Mashie Niblick
The golf ball smashed him in the – er – zone
and caused him most Tremendous Pain.
He vowed that on his ice cream cone
he'd never have crushed nuts again
⛳🏌️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nDN0CtAiYjw&pp=ygUJZ29sZiBzb25n
🙃
The golf ball smashed him in the – er – zone
and caused him most Tremendous Pain.
He vowed that on his ice cream cone
he'd never have crushed nuts again
⛳🏌️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nDN0CtAiYjw&pp=ygUJZ29sZiBzb25n
🙃
🖕
Crushed Nuts For The Losers?
I wouldn't like to play
a round with you, my dear;
the price of losing such a game
of golf is far too dear. 😬
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XDkV_41qEVM&pp=ygUkc3RyYWlnaHQgZG93biB0aGUgbWlkZGxlIGJpbmcgY3Jvc2J5
⛳🏌️
Crushed Nuts For The Losers?
I wouldn't like to play
a round with you, my dear;
the price of losing such a game
of golf is far too dear. 😬
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XDkV_41qEVM&pp=ygUkc3RyYWlnaHQgZG93biB0aGUgbWlkZGxlIGJpbmcgY3Jvc2J5
⛳🏌️
Fencers
I love sitting on the fence
watching Oogly and Aagly fight
pasting a poster for campaign
to get a red hot seat
they loved to sit on the heat
of their seat shouting their cause
after baby kissing and defeat
they left with a slanging course
I love sitting on the fence
watching Oogly and Aagly fight
pasting a poster for campaign
to get a red hot seat
they loved to sit on the heat
of their seat shouting their cause
after baby kissing and defeat
they left with a slanging course
Same Old Same Old
A Tory Gov., a Labour Gov?
The twats are both the f*cking same!
They're with the boss class, hand in glove,
and only differ in their name.
There's Tweedledum and Tweedledee,
a most obnoxious double-act,
two bigger con-men you'll not see,
their decks of cards are truly stacked.
So what's this thing 'Democracy'
that politicians shout about?
It's more like a c*ntocracy:
a c*nt comes in; a c*nt goes out!
But still we cheer for Dum or Dee
and watch them strut about their stage,
then vote again for slavery,
our exploitation for a wage.
🇬🇧
A Tory Gov., a Labour Gov?
The twats are both the f*cking same!
They're with the boss class, hand in glove,
and only differ in their name.
There's Tweedledum and Tweedledee,
a most obnoxious double-act,
two bigger con-men you'll not see,
their decks of cards are truly stacked.
So what's this thing 'Democracy'
that politicians shout about?
It's more like a c*ntocracy:
a c*nt comes in; a c*nt goes out!
But still we cheer for Dum or Dee
and watch them strut about their stage,
then vote again for slavery,
our exploitation for a wage.
🇬🇧
wages
hope for a pen and paper
to write my name on
all well I write proper
with a nice church schooling
adventures in bookland
meeting all manners of characters
when on reality I set in
it was scrubbing and dishes
many buckets of dirty water later
I ran out of sweat and lather
I ran out of the door
off and away into uncharted land yonder
hope for a pen and paper
to write my name on
all well I write proper
with a nice church schooling
adventures in bookland
meeting all manners of characters
when on reality I set in
it was scrubbing and dishes
many buckets of dirty water later
I ran out of sweat and lather
I ran out of the door
off and away into uncharted land yonder
... Of Sin Is Death
So she ran.
It ran with her.
She ran faster.
It increased its pace.
She zigzagged.
It zagzigged and smiled.
She boarded an aeroplane.
It sat in the seat beside her.
She went to England.
It bought her a pie.
She jumped in a rocket and flew to the moon.
It was waiting for her when she got there.
She bought an aqualung and dived to the bottom of the sea.
It grew fins and swished its tail.
She picked up a knife and stabbed it.
It bled.
She took a gun and shot it.
The bullet left a hole she could see through.
She strangled it.
It counted the fingerprints left on its neck.
She woke in the night, sweating.
It wrapped its arms round her and gave her a kiss.
She began to panic.
It didn't care.
She screamed.
It screamed louder.
She stopped screaming and looked at it.
It stared her straight in the eye.
'What are you?' she asked.
'You,' it replied.
🐬🐟🐋
🙃
So she ran.
It ran with her.
She ran faster.
It increased its pace.
She zigzagged.
It zagzigged and smiled.
She boarded an aeroplane.
It sat in the seat beside her.
She went to England.
It bought her a pie.
She jumped in a rocket and flew to the moon.
It was waiting for her when she got there.
She bought an aqualung and dived to the bottom of the sea.
It grew fins and swished its tail.
She picked up a knife and stabbed it.
It bled.
She took a gun and shot it.
The bullet left a hole she could see through.
She strangled it.
It counted the fingerprints left on its neck.
She woke in the night, sweating.
It wrapped its arms round her and gave her a kiss.
She began to panic.
It didn't care.
She screamed.
It screamed louder.
She stopped screaming and looked at it.
It stared her straight in the eye.
'What are you?' she asked.
'You,' it replied.
🐬🐟🐋
🙃
Sin
his name was Sin
a nice guy sitting at a sidewalk
answering greetings with a grin
he didn't look sinister or skulk
his name was Sin
he couldn't help that
it just wasn't up to him
to discard or erase it
he couldn't help it
he was born that way
all around him were Sins
small ones, big ones, grandparents
his name was Sin
a nice guy sitting at a sidewalk
answering greetings with a grin
he didn't look sinister or skulk
his name was Sin
he couldn't help that
it just wasn't up to him
to discard or erase it
he couldn't help it
he was born that way
all around him were Sins
small ones, big ones, grandparents
A Décima For Death 🙃
In time, this Lady comes to all of us,
a welcome guest for some, for others not,
but if we've given Life our finest shot
then we can take her hand and with no fuss
depart, to take that gloomy Hades' bus,
without regrets, to leave the sun behind
and face Forever in that place unkind.
So while we live we have to take each chance
to join in Life, its mad and merry dance –
Forever means forever we shan't find.
⚰️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk&pp=ygUoZmlnaHQgZm9yIHRoZSByaWdodCB0byBwYXJ0eSBiZWFzdGllIGJveQ%3D%3D
💃🎊🎉🎈🥳
In time, this Lady comes to all of us,
a welcome guest for some, for others not,
but if we've given Life our finest shot
then we can take her hand and with no fuss
depart, to take that gloomy Hades' bus,
without regrets, to leave the sun behind
and face Forever in that place unkind.
So while we live we have to take each chance
to join in Life, its mad and merry dance –
Forever means forever we shan't find.
⚰️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk&pp=ygUoZmlnaHQgZm9yIHRoZSByaWdodCB0byBwYXJ0eSBiZWFzdGllIGJveQ%3D%3D
💃🎊🎉🎈🥳
Death
Death came in a blue bus
dressed all nice
with a smile on his face
a sparkle in his eyes
Death came in a blue bus
just came by in a rush
held her hands and push
sealing her fate without a fuss
they stood around her
all shocked, staring in fear
as the ambulance drew near
Death watched grinning to his ear
the bus driver clutched his head
he never saw her cross the road
he didn't know what happened
Death walked away and smiled
all in a day's work
Death came in a blue bus
dressed all nice
with a smile on his face
a sparkle in his eyes
Death came in a blue bus
just came by in a rush
held her hands and push
sealing her fate without a fuss
they stood around her
all shocked, staring in fear
as the ambulance drew near
Death watched grinning to his ear
the bus driver clutched his head
he never saw her cross the road
he didn't know what happened
Death walked away and smiled
all in a day's work
It's Not Dark Yet (But It's Getting There)
I gaze with sadness at my distant toes,
the nails so sharp and jagged at their end.
They sorely need a trimming, goodness knows,
but am I flexible enough to bend
my ancient back and snip them with the clippers?
I try – and how my poor bones creak! I moan,
I stretch, give up, put on again my slippers,
lamenting age, the woes to which it’s prone.
But cheering up, I soon emerge from gloom.
This situation's not so very bad.
I simply tape a nailfile to a broom
and then it reaches. I'm a clever lad!
I may be old and battered by Life’s knocks,
but now at least I'll not have holey socks.
🦶🙃🦶
I gaze with sadness at my distant toes,
the nails so sharp and jagged at their end.
They sorely need a trimming, goodness knows,
but am I flexible enough to bend
my ancient back and snip them with the clippers?
I try – and how my poor bones creak! I moan,
I stretch, give up, put on again my slippers,
lamenting age, the woes to which it’s prone.
But cheering up, I soon emerge from gloom.
This situation's not so very bad.
I simply tape a nailfile to a broom
and then it reaches. I'm a clever lad!
I may be old and battered by Life’s knocks,
but now at least I'll not have holey socks.
🦶🙃🦶
Bored
I pick at the cracks
between the wall of sleep
and drowsiness mouth slack
lost in aimless random thoughts
a sea of endless hours
all grey with no pretty hues
fingers fiddling with greying hair
thinking of nothing mere white noise
clock ticks on mocking sound
like a tick caught in dry linoleum
boredom keeps me bound
like a rabbit mesmerised by a lamp
I pick at the cracks
between the wall of sleep
and drowsiness mouth slack
lost in aimless random thoughts
a sea of endless hours
all grey with no pretty hues
fingers fiddling with greying hair
thinking of nothing mere white noise
clock ticks on mocking sound
like a tick caught in dry linoleum
boredom keeps me bound
like a rabbit mesmerised by a lamp
'You Have To Grind The Opposition Into The Dust, Darling.'
She wouldn’t fart. She wouldn’t let one rip
with rasping sphincter sound and stinky smell,
to make his teaching session smelly hell.
I did my best, I gave her every tip
that would indeed cause him to lose his grip,
but would she listen? Would she? Would she hell!
Repeatedly I tried, I tried to tell
her that a juicy fart would make him slip,
but all she said was, 'No. I can't do that!
I want to hear just what he has to say.
Perhaps I'll learn a writing trick or two.'
I sighed. She'd missed the point. My hopes fell flat
that with a fart she'd wreck that writer's day.
Sometimes my girlfriend doesn't have a clue.
🏹🐏
She wouldn’t fart. She wouldn’t let one rip
with rasping sphincter sound and stinky smell,
to make his teaching session smelly hell.
I did my best, I gave her every tip
that would indeed cause him to lose his grip,
but would she listen? Would she? Would she hell!
Repeatedly I tried, I tried to tell
her that a juicy fart would make him slip,
but all she said was, 'No. I can't do that!
I want to hear just what he has to say.
Perhaps I'll learn a writing trick or two.'
I sighed. She'd missed the point. My hopes fell flat
that with a fart she'd wreck that writer's day.
Sometimes my girlfriend doesn't have a clue.
🏹🐏
Darts
I hate darts the game of aim
taking a chance to the hit the centre
my throw is weak and lame
I hate this silly game
I hate darts when I let it fly
never hits the centre
the dart seemed to look so sly
falling off the board to the floor
I hate darts as my tension grows
I can’t win a game, so obvious
I feel like giving it the finger
but nothing works away my anger
I hate darts the game of aim
taking a chance to the hit the centre
my throw is weak and lame
I hate this silly game
I hate darts when I let it fly
never hits the centre
the dart seemed to look so sly
falling off the board to the floor
I hate darts as my tension grows
I can’t win a game, so obvious
I feel like giving it the finger
but nothing works away my anger
